DeanCarl Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Hi Family, DeanCarl would like to express his gratitude for all of your loving Birthday thoughts. It was a "day" spent in bed while the world whirled around us; a bit tiring; but even with his low appetite ("nothing tastes right"); he enjoyed a lot of his favorite Beef Stroganof and will work up to some deep dish blueberry pie, soon (or it's all mine : but it's better than Hospital food....... Dean is going into the VA for a week of testing/restaging (and some "time off" for me). There is the scary thought of Brain mets or was it too much Vicodan for too long? (We called it "Vicodan brain talk" - dreamlike; not totally based in reality; but I would be able to "steer him back"; as his brain, these past few months would "wander". He's been off Vicodan and has been on Oxecodone for about 3 weeks and is much more alert; though I read your posts to him as he is too weak to walk to the computer. DeanCarl is very sad he doesn't have the energy to compose his thoughts; much less type to express himself on this lifesaver of lchelp board (this was (is - as I speak for/with him to you)his only lifeline; as family and friends seemed to simply turn away at the word "Cancer"). DeanCarl's burns healed up quickly (just two nasty burns on his fingers still need tender loving care - he grabbed the canula while his face (nose and mustache was on fire - his long beard did not even get singed; nor did any clothing or his bed catch on fire - we were very lucky) - yet what really got "burned up" for a short while was his "Faith"...his core belief system went up in flames; but his beliefs are back and stronger than ever. We were given second chance; more "us time"; so he wouldn't "go out" in a "not so flame of glory". Dean hopes to "go" peacefully; at home with 2 cats and me having the courage to "let go" - I read somewhere that: "I must love him enough to let him go" - not an easy thing to do with a husband and best friend of 21 years...life will go on and Dean and I have a "date" (at a time not of our choosing) at The Rainbow Bridge (our vision of Heaven). The Reality has always been Dean's Cancer is Terminal (Stage 3A; now 22 months ago (as of 7/26/05) - Rough time (yep) estimate was 8 - 15 months - (never believe what you read or hear - he's still here - positive thinking Does work). There was no surgery option due to heavy lymph node involvement. We may be dealing with end of life issues; soon - trying to "prepare ourselves" as best we can; as we have been all along, for whatever or whenever is thrown our way. Though DeanCarl's body is very weak; he still lives his life with Cancer - One day at a time. He is not perfect at it; he is human and has his good days and bad, frustrating days, too. I'll give updates (at least through Ry; my telephone Angel) as soon as we know more about DeanCarl's test's results. Prayers, please for "serenity" this coming week while Dean is in the VA; as hospital stays are no fun; but hopefully we'll gain better insight into his physical health. Thank you for listening. Gay (wife of DeanCarl) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Gay,thank you for the update on you and Dean.You are both in all of our thoughts and prayers. Tell Dean to hang in there at the VA hospital.I have spent more than a fair share of days there myself and know it is no picnic.I hope he will be lucky enough to get a bed by a window with a gorgeous view. All our admiration,love,and prayers coming your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Gay...thank you for bringing us up to date on Dean Carl. Tell him we ALL miss his wisdom here...but are so grateful that you are thoughtful enough to keep us posted. AND we have any and all of his old posts to reread and reflect on. So...even if he isn't posting any new thoughts...he's already bestowed any number of "pearls" upon us. I am sending out every thought and vibe for serenity for you both during Dean's week in the VA hospital. I also wish for peace and strength for the two of you. I truly hope the birds at the feeder in the yard are still of enjoyment to Dean.... Hugs to you both...and keep us posted as you can, Gay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Thank you for the update. Please convey our love and respect for DeanCarl. We love being part of your family and relish the gift. We care. Pat and Brian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Appreciate the update, Gay. Serenity prayers for you both. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Gay, I thank you so much for keeping us updated on our friend Dean. Please send him my love... and tell him that I printed out a letter he wrote to my son months ago regarding issues I was having with him...I re-read that leter ALL THE TIME... He gave me strength at a time I had very little left. I am forever indebted to him for sharing his words and thoughts with me. I hope his stay in the VA goes quickly and is uneventful so he can get back home to you and his Cats and his birds and rest peacefully and contentfully. I pray for his serenity daily. Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Dear Gay, Thank you so much for taking the time to give us an update on "our" DeanCarl. Glad that he was able to enjoy a meal of stroganoff...yummy! If you need any help with any crumbs of that pie, you just let me know! Hope his stay at the VA gives you folks the answers that you need and that it will be comfortable for him. Hope you have a good one to go to. Will definitely look for more updates on our guy. Prayers for comfort and especially Serenity for DeanCarl. And happy birthday wishes belatedly. love, Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 More prayers to you. I am thrilled Dean enjoyed his day. You are both so strong! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted July 31, 2005 Share Posted July 31, 2005 Hi Gay, Thank you so much on the update on your Dean. I was hopeing for an update as he has had such a run of bad luck. One right after the other. I am so glad he has recouperated from those nasty burns. May Dean and you have the strength to keep enduring all the changes that is happening to his body. Peace be with you during these most difficult time that lies ahead of you. You both seem to have such a special marriage, and that is so priceless. Keep making those memories. I will pray from him to not be in pain. You are not alone, we are always here for you. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail p-m Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Thanks for updating us on DeanCarl. Glad to hear that he is still hanging in there and living with his cancer, although his body sounds challenged more and more. But he is where he wants to be at, his home. Hopefully, things will go smoothly at the VA Hospital and he will get home quickly. My prayers and thoughts are with both of you. You two truly are an amzing couple. Gail p-m Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Please tell Dean we miss him so much. I remember when this board first started and his humor was SO unique! I loved reading his posts and writing him back. He has been such a comfort to so many on here. I know you have been blessed. Love Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyCW Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Gay, I know that message was not real easy to write, but we really appreciate you updating us. Please tell your hubby that he has given us so many gifts that will last forever, and while we'd love to read new messages from him, he's entitled to a rest! I know many of us often go back and reads his old posts again and again, and that wisdom he's shared will always be with us. I hope you have a good rest this week, and that the VA will keep Dean Carl comfortable and make sure he stays painfree always. And I hope he's home with you and the cats and birds again soon. Thinking every good thought for you both, BeckyCW P.S. That deep-dish blueberry pie is making my mouth water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Dear Gay, My heart aches for you. I can't imagine how hard this is for you. Please give Dean a big hug from me, and tell him I hope he gets a lot of cute nurses that spoil him rotten. Since I don't like blueberries, give my share to Cindi so she won't have to settle for crumbs. Love, hugs and prayers for Dean and Gay! Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkala Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Thank you Gay for the update on Dean. I think of you both daily and keep you in my prayers always. Dean has been amazing and I can see how it would be hard to let him go. You take good care and get some rest this week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 your post was brave and beautiful - no doubt attributes you and DeanCarl share. I am praying for serenity for both of you, plus freedom from discomfort. do keep up posted. xoxo amie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annjael Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Gay and Dean Carl,,,you both are such an inspiration! I wish you prayers and blessings Peace, Annjael Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
francesbean Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 My thoughts and prayers are with DeanCarl. Sincerely, Frances Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Dear Gay and Dean, I appreciate you keeping us updated on our dear DeanCarl. He is one of my favorite people and his ability to enjoy life is one I admire very much. Give Dean and big hug from me. Tell him I hope his VA stay is short and pain free. When he gets home and you have a free moment, please let us know how he is doing. You both are always in my prayers. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Gay, I have been thinking of you both as the 1st has been approaching. I hope this respite gives you both what you need. Get some much needed rest while someone else is taking care of Dean. Hang in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Gay, thank you so much for bring us up to date on how the two of you are doing. I have to tell you that DeanCarl really chose a terrific lady to accompany him on this journey called "life." Your strength and courage are a real inspiration to me. I am praying that God will grant you some peace and serenity while DeanCarl is in the hospital. This will be a good time for you to concentrate on taking really good care of yourself. As you already know, we all love you and DeanCarl and we so admire the positive attitude that he has exhibited during his illness. His courage and attitude have been like a bright light that has shown for so many people on this board. I am praying that God will shelter both of you with his love!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDianneB Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Gay, the two of you are two of the most courageous people I've come across trying to deal with this disease the best way they can. I talk to people here in the forum, but in person at the doc's office, waiting rooms, and whoever starts up a conversation when they see my "Cancer Sucks" button that I wear ALL the time. I will say that reading Dean Carl's words when I was new to this forum gave me much joy -- his descriptions of the goings on in his own back yard space,just about the life going on all around him -- gave me something to look forward to. And now, you continue to share feelings and status with us, and face things toe to toe. Bravo to the both of you! (Or, as my great-nephew said once when he was about 6, give them a "standing ovulation." Ha. Where he came up with that word, we'll never know, but he got it all confused! Ever since then, my family says this whenever we get the chance! He's at the ripe old age of 21 now, so turns beet red when we remind him of it!) Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Gay, Thank you for the update. I hope things go well for Dean Carl in the hospital this week, and that it is a productive visit. Bless and keep you both. XOXOXOX Prayers, MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leslie221 Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Gay, Thanks for keeping us updates. You sound like you are handling everything about as well as anyone could. I admire you both. Sending caring thoughts that everything will happen in Dean's best interest. ((((Gay)))) ((((Dean))))) ((((cats)))) Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
terriep Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Gay and Dean Carl - Prayers for the both of you will continue - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Gay, My heart goes out to you, as a wife and caregiver and my prayers to you and Dean Carl. Thank you for updating us. I think of both of you often. This time must be very difficult , yet it sounds as though you have prepared yourselves to weather the storm together. I hope this time that Dean will spend in Va will be a help to you both. Give yourself and Dean a hug for me . His writing here has really touched me and your love and support ,as his wife, really touches me also. God be with the two of you. Love and Prayers, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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