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Hi Deanne,

Pull up a lounge chair..you are here for the ride! How about a spot o' tea, dear?

Glad that you are a team. Jimmy will surely be a success with you beating him into submission when he doesn't want to drink water or eat his carrot sticks!


Welcome to our group. You will find many caregiver survivors here to befriend.

Cindi o'h

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:) It is always good to see both persons posting. get a Organizer to keep track of quetions, Apptmnts, and, Meds List for Onc. Keep us posted on everything and we will helpwhenever you need it.
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Hi all,

Just wanted to say thank you for your welcome. We are both new to this and it still feels somewhat ureal. I'm sure you have all been there. I have to say that I am very proud of my husband how he is handling things. I however am not handling this well at all. I know I will get stronger. I have read some of the profiles on here and cried through most of them. :cry: Jimmy started his first chemo yesterday the drugs are carboplatin and gemcitabineanyone else on these? Sending you all so much luck!



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Welcome Deanne. It is such a great help to have a loved one to travel this journey with. In the beginning, I believe, many of us are so overwhelmed we get numb and it is so hard to even listen and "hear" what we are being told. We need all the help and support we can get. Another set of ears at an appointment , someone who listens to our grief of having lost our health, listens to our fears , concerns. It is such a blessing to have someone with us who cares. Keep us posted on how things are going.

Donna G

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welcome Deanne: I had 4 rounds of carboplatin/gemcitabine last year. I tolerated it rather easily, although I was glad when it was over. I had fatigue and a generally felt bad for the first 3 or 4 days after an infusion. I usually felt pretty good in the week just prior to my next infusion. I drank a lot of water. I missed work about 3 or 4 days in each infusion cycle. I could have toughed it out and gone if I really had to, but did not.

Don M

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Add my welcome to all those above, Deanne. This board was such an important instrument for me to help my husband through the diagnosis/decision-making/treatment process and then the amazingly empty-feeling time following treatment while you wait to see if it is working....

I second the advice to get an expanded diary where you can keep track of everything -- not all appointments but observations on reactions, questions, medications...just about anything and everything. If you don't write it all down, it'll all blur and get lost.

I was (and still am) always there for every appointment. Since your husband found us, he's probably more "proactive" than mine was. I found I had to take the lead in asking the questions, giving my observations on his reactions and/or progress, even calling the doctor when something didn't seem right. But even if you don't have to do as much of that, you'll find that this fight is very much a partnership. It really highlights what marriage is all about.

So welcome to the caregiver's club.


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Welcome Deanne from one wife to another.

I know exactly what you mean about being proud of how you husband is handling things, but feeling like you aren't doing as well.

Trust me, you are doing great. The fact that you get up out of bed and are there loving and supporting him is a feat, and you should give yourself credit.

Often we talk about this being a roller coaster ride. There are good days and bad, up times and down, and with that there are times when we feel strong and others where we just fall apart. I wish I could say that with time you will get better and stronger at this, but the truth is that in time things will get easier to accept and get more routine and you will get stronger and then out of nowhere you will feel weak again. It is ok to bottom out every now and then. It is normal, and we've all been throug it. We are here for you to celebrate on those up times, and we are here to help push you back up that hill when you are down.

I will be keeping you and Jim in my prayers and I am here for you.


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