I have to wonder...what is the point?

[Bev'sSister]

I hope this is not too depressing for some, but I have been reading the posts on here, from all the way back to 2003..everyone seems to suffer so much all through the treatments..and so few seem to beat this thing. My sister has sclc, extensive. She has been through her 1st round of chemo. Came through that pretty good..a little nausea and really tired, but from the majority of the posts, it gets worse with each treatment. So many things happen. Mets to the brain, spine, and everywhere. More treatments..Is it really worth it in the end? Please someone give me something to believe in. I am so scared of what she is going to have to go through.

[EastCoastLadi]

Bobby,

I know how you feel, please check out my profile to read about my husband.....he's a fighter....does this stink!, YES! ( I could of used a better word ).

I'm still having a very difficult time with all of this too, it's now been over a year. But I'm still fighting for my husband to stay alive. I don't care if people don't like my attitude sometimes, heck even my husband thinks so too!

Because if I stop, then it will be too late.

Grace

[Bev'sSister]

Thank you for your responses. I know in my heart how I am supposed to feel. My sister has such tremendous FAITH. I just hate thinking about all the suffering she will have to endure to survive it. She is only 50 years old..and I love her so much. She bought me a house. I owe her so much and yet have so little to give. I have never, nor will I ever, let her give up on this fight. I know some have survived it, and I pray she will be one of them. I guess I just have to keep encouraging her to fight and do a lot of praying. Please keep her in your prayers as well. Thanks for a forum to vent in.

[MsC1210]

Bobby

I heard someone on the radio this afternoon make a statement. It went something like, we HAVE to endure the bad times and things in life in order to fully appreciate the good. What your sister is going through with treatments, the cancer itself is the bad, definitely. Think positively that for all the pain and the ill effects from the chemo is simply the road she has to take to beat this disease. The good will follow.

She is so very fortunate to have you in her corner. Her faith and great attitude are such a plus in this fight.

All of what you have described as feeling now is so completely understandable. I believe that most everyone here will tell you the same thing; we all have that roller coaster ride of emotions. It comes with the territory.

Please keep posting, let us know how your sister is doing and how YOU are doing, too. We are all here for you.

Chris

[Tami]

sometimes I wonder this myself.. especially when i'm depressed and life seems to really be getting in the way. You mean I went through ALL THAT, FOR THIS?! Sometimes it really doesn't seem worth it.

Yes, I have several chemo protocols, radiation, 3 thorocotomys and finally a pneumonectomy.. yes, that was hard and yes, it takes its toll. But.. i have had 4 years of NED. I have watched my kids grow, helped my daughter learn to drive, helped my son get his first job, watched my 2 youngest sons now be able to grow taller than me (which I'm only 5'0" so that's not really a HUGE accomplishment but to them it is) I've experienced 4 more holiday seasons with the time to teach them how to bake cookies, where all my decorations go, I got to be with my father until his passing last November, spend time with my brothers and sister, watch my niece get married on the beach this summer... it is definately worth it.. a 100 times over.

the treatment is rough but not everyone goes through everything and sometimes we actually beat this monster. It's really her decision.. she knows how much fight she has and when she has had enough..

so just love and support her... I was told I was inoperable with not long to live 4 yrs ago!! I wanted to fight for every second of life and it has been well worth it.

Good luck to both of you. Keep us posted and vent when you need to.

Tami

[Bev'sSister]

Thank you so much for your reply. I was really hoping someone would find words to make me feel that all this is worth it and you just did. Congratulations on beating the odds.

[Donna G]

I just want to add that in our local lung cancer group we have several that had extensive SCLC and are well over 5 years now , have no evidence of disease, and are enjoying their life, their family , their vacation trips. etc. It can be done.

Donna G

[Bev'sSister]

That is good to hear..Maybe I am not looking in the right places. Thanks for telling me.

[Frank Lamb]

There are no gaurantees that is for sure.I speak for my own opinion here.All the surgery,more surgery,chemo,radiation,more chemo and more radiation and even the side effects after this is done.I feel that having gone thru this has given me more life and gotten to enjoy more.Every one was pretty adamant that I was looking at 6 mos. to a year best case scenario.

It now has blessed me with 3 and a half years of enjoying my family.To me this has been worth it.At some time I don't think I would go thru this if I were certain it didn't add up to worth while benefits.

In addittion to this it is my belief by doing this that at some future time (not all that far away)that all we have done will benefit and help others if not for a cure at least to make lung cancer a disease that will be come a treatable disease.

[Treebywater]

Bobby--Just another perspective... My Mom had NSCLC and fought for 8 months before she gave her life in the fight. 8 months is far from being 'the most successful run' here or anywhere... and she her treatment time was rough.

Was it worth it to do the treatment? I think she would say it was. I think it was. If for no other reason than that we know that she did her darnedest to stay with us. And she took some control. She said--alright... you can't have me that easy. We knew that she was fighting for herself and for us. We knew that she was fighting for every single second that she could have with us. And every single second--though a lot of them weren't pretty due to treatments and the disease--were worth it. I'm not saying that her treatment was about us who are still here... it was all her decision, but I know that fighting for her life meant fighting for time with us, and that is a gift that she gave to me and my dad and the rest of our family.

Plus it gave us a chance. It gave us some hope. It gave us resolve and an enemy to face off with in a situation that robs you of power. I think the hope might have been the biggest reason that it was worth it.

And maybe those treatments did buy us some time. I know that I got to spend 2 and a half wonderful months living with her and being with her and watching her light up when she saw her baby grand-daughter... We might not have had that time without the treatment.

If it's worth it to your sister... Then it is worth it. And the whys of that will come out more and more as time goes on.

Hang in there and know that there is HOPE. Grab onto the hope and don't let go.

[joanie55]

Bobby,

Every day I'm here is worth it. I saw my first grandchild born 5 months ago and will attend my daughter's wedding in a few weeks. Even the regular non special days are worth it though. Just seeing the sun come up is special to me. Everyone should be able to appreciate life as much as you do when you're in danger of losing it.

Wishing your sister the best.

Joan

[Bev'sSister]

Thank you all for your wonderful replies. It means so much to me. Please..MORE..MORE..MORE.

[RandyW]

Connie B is my champion. She is an 11 year survivor here, NSCLC. My late wife fought every day for almost 3 years and I loved her so much more every day that I woke up. Remember yesterday, Cherrish today and Pray for tomorrow. that is my advice. every day is a challenge. We go through the ups and downs here. We cry over bad and sad news and we Yell and scream with joy at the good news. Have you checked Good news and Survivors Forums? They are full of inspiration. Click on this Link;

http://inspiringthots.net/movie/limit-cancer.php

[Sheri]

Small cell is such a rapid progressive disease that without treatment, patients have little time. Treatment, may make your sister fatigued but if she wants to buy some time, it's worth it, considering the alternative.

If she feels the treatment is too painful, she can discontinue and let the cancer progress. How does she feel about this?

[Ry]

When my husband was diagnosed we had a 3 year old. If you look at my photo you will see a child that will be 8 in December. Was it worth it? As the commercial would say, having your dad around--priceless.

[lynn]

Hi Bobby,

My Dad survived for 20 years after treatment for extensive sclc.For about the first five years I didn't enjoy a day of it because all I did was worry about when it would return...what a waste!My Dad would definitely tell you it was worth it.

Hang in there

Lynn

[Snowflake]

It's worth it, because I've never been a quitter. Surgery was painful (I'm NSCLC), but I did it, and I'm here - sneaking up on four years.

Yep, some people make it and for them, it will ALWAYS be worth it - but it's like the lottery, you can't win if you don't buy your ticket!

It's worth it...because it is.

[Don Wood]

Each survivor and each caregiver has to answer that in his/her own way. My wife would have died in the first year without treatment. She lasted 4 very cherished years for both of us, and our family. The treatments were very rough at times but we would do it over if we had to. My wife, up until the time she went into the hospital for the last time, still had clear mind, could walk without help, could bathe herself, dress herself, and she reached out and helped so many. For us, it is a no-brainer. It was well worth the treatment. Don

[gail p-m]

My father lived almost 6 years after diagnosis. He saw his younger daughter and first grandchild get married and he got to London, Paris and Rome. He also was able to live independently and take complete care of himself right up to the last two months -- cooked, shopped, enjoyed Starbucks visits, his Netflix... In the end, he really fought dying. He did not want to "go". Was it worth the treatments to my Dad? Yes, without a doubt.

gail p-m

[dchurchi]

Bobby,

please read my husband's profile. you will see that his treatments were anything but easy.

I at times questioned if they were "worth" it. Well let me tell you Yes !

Alan and I are having the time of our lives. He is living a very full and productive life.

We travel when he feels up to it, play golf and just live life. Every day is a "bonus" day to us, so we make the most of every one of them.

prayers to you and your sister.

[Bev'sSister]

Thanks so much for your replies. My head is on straight now I believe. It is so hard to stay focused on the prize, I think, because I am so scared of seeing her suffer. But you are absolutely right..it is such a waste of time and energy worrying about that. I talked to her last night and she is feeling pretty good right now. Her next chemo starts on Oct. 16 (2nd round). I was able to get her son home, with the help of the Red Cross, from the Arabian Sea, and she is very happy about that. Keep posting the good thoughts, some of us read more than write, but it is good to know that when we write, someone is there to read. Ok..that doesn't make a lot of sense, but you get my point, I hope. Thanks to all again.

[ztweb]

Yes, it is worth it...it is also so, so scary, and noone can deny us that. We are in the best possible place we can be right now with my dad, but it still freightens me to think where we might be in 3 months, four monthes etc. I have to learn to live each day, love each day, and you know what...I am thrilled you posted this post, because reading everyone's responses, I see that I TOO get my head on straight!

Jen

[Larry]

Bobby my Wife even tho she lost her battle after almost two year's would be first in line to tell your sister to never never give up and no matter how sick it made her from the treatment's she alway's believed it was better than giving up, thus she never complained and all the nurses at the Cancer center were alway's amazed at her attitude.GOD BLESS and your sister is so lucky to have you there....

[stand4hope]

Bobby,

I really wanted to write to you because, I think your question comes more often from a caregiver than a patient.

I, too, having been the caregiver asked that question, but not until my husband was about to receive his 7th chemo. He had also had WBR (whole brain radiation) and stereotactic surgery (radiation to the brain) several times, lung radiation, several bones radiated, etc.

After almost two years, the cancer began to take off again and he wanted to try another chemo. I encouraged all the prior treatments, but he was showing very visible signs of deterioration, and I was against him getting anymore chemo. I was afraid that one more blast of that crap would do him in. It actually did take his life, but that isn't the reason I'm writing to you.

My husband was very independent and determined to beat the cancer. He knew, though, at that point, that without yet another treatment, he would "for sure" die. He said he had to take the gamble that the last chemo just might work. I understood where he was coming from, even though I knew the odds weren't good of the chemo helping and the odds were good that it would make him worse.

Somewhere in this process, I got it! The last thing in the world I wanted was for Don to get worse, feel worse, be more weak, get sick, etc., because from a loving wife's point of view, I couldn't bear the thought of seeing him worse, and I couldn't bear the thought of losing him any sooner than necessary. Yet, I suddenly "got it" that Don was RIGHT!! Even if the chance at that point was only 1 in 1,000,000,000 that it might help - that was all he had and he had to take it. I got it!

God bless you for caring for and loving your sister as much as you do!

Love,

Peggy

[Bev'sSister]

Thank you Peggy. I am sorry for your loss. Your words meant a lot to me. I hope I can be as strong as you. My sister Beverly, really hasn't had any major problems with treatment so far. Alittle nausea and being tired, but from what I can see on this board with the postings..it gets harder with each treatment. I will continue to pray and believe and support whatever she does. This is so hard, but words from you and everyone else really helps me get through this. I have tried to get her to get on, but she said she just can't right now.