Nick C Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Every event in preparation for baby has been rough...and I dreaded two more than any, one was the shower, which I would enter at the end and Mom wouldn't be there but the second...the crib. Because when I was done there would be a painted, furnished, appointed baby's room...complete...with a crib. And no mom to see the face of as she walked into the room and saw it all together for the first time. As long as I hadn't assembled the crib, I wouldn't be accutely aware of the fact that there is noone who would be so excited to see this room as mom would have been. Mom upon seeing the room would have been so excited that here it is...her grandchild is almost here. I walked in house two weekends ago, it was quiet, and I said, I'm going to do the crib. And so I walked up the stairs, 6 trips with the parts, two flights of stairs. Laid it all out...silent...and I became aware of the silence...and I didn't turn on a radio or a tv...I assembled the crib in silence...moving slow, to actually minimize noise...thinking of mom as I did it...missing her...thinking of her. Being scared about how I will do this without her. And then it was done. And with a step back to look at the crib in its setting I pictured her approving smile and her excited squinty smile over her grandchild's crib. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbb Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 {{{Nick}}} Your mom is so proud of you for doing these things you dread. I can see her smiling at the room right now, you did good. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lc46 Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Nick So Sad...... Your Mom is watching over you and your family..... You have a new life coming into the world. There is nothing like it. You can't even explain it until it happens.....your Mom would be so proud. I am so sorry she is not there with you.... Dar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 You did it! None of this is easy, but you keep doing it. You were blessed to learn so many lessons from your mom, and you will pass those on to your little one as well. I had a very hard time at the baby shower for my brother's first little one. Fortunately, a couple of Mom's best friends came. It helped me so much to see a part of her represented there...someone I could hug who would hug us back. You are doing a great job. She is proud of you. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teriw Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 (((Nick))) I pray that when you look in your beautiful baby's eyes, you will see a part of your mom. She would want you to be excited. She would want you to feel all the joy a new baby brings. And she will know that the love she gave you will help you be a wonderful father. She's so proud already! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 I believe that in that silence you were not alone assembling baby's crib......not alone at all. Although the face may have been out of eye's view, the heart was ther bursting with love and pride! Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsC1210 Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Nick Your mother's strength and wisdom show through in every post you make. I am constantly in awe of how strong you are and how well you articulate your feelings. I don't post much in response as I never know really what to say and usually I try to reply and it sounds all wrong so I delete it. This post however struck a chord with me and I had to say, I am proud of you.. Your mother is, too and I am sure she is with you every moment of every day and smiling down on you. It is not easy, but Nick you are doing a wonderful job navigating this grief journey.... (((Nick))) Warmly Christine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Q Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Nick, you handled it in just the right way. And I just ache for you that your dear mother is not here to witness these tender acts. However, as so many others have stated, you were not alone in the silence. She was there. She knows. ~Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Nick, I agree with the others that your mom was right there with you and she will be with you to see her Grandchild.. God Bless, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted January 13, 2008 Author Share Posted January 13, 2008 Thanks all, I'm glad you all got it. I've never taken a lot of comfort in the "words" 'she's here in spirit'. And it's because that isn't a comfort for me, that I found this particular time to be so profound. I really kind of felt not alone in the silence. So for anyone who feels like me, and many of you do, I really did feel her with me. So maybe just maybe, we really aren't as far from them as we feel. And that's exactly why I wanted to share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Your mom was so fortunate to have such a loving son as you have been!! You were not alone in your silence, she watch you and was smiling down upon you. She is with you, remember the blue flower? Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomsGirl Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Wow, Nick, I had to wipe away some tears after reading that.... You did it, though. You laid another stone in the path leading to parenthood, to bringing this beautiful baby into the world. And you did with your mom there. Because after reading your story, I believe she WAS there. I just don't know what else to say. I was so moved by your post... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Beautiful Nick! Your mom has a very loving son. Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBeth Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Nick, Your beautiful mother did a wonderful job raising and molding you into such a thoughtful and loving young man. I have no doubts that your mother was/is with you and your wife every step of the way in this process. I know that the pain of not having her here in person to shine in the happiness and blessings of this occassion might diminish the joy, but I do believe that your mother is with you in spirit and looking down with great pride. I think you are going to make an incredible father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted January 15, 2008 Share Posted January 15, 2008 Your mom is watching and smiling. You will see lots of signs along the way. We saw a few signs that my grandmother was watching down over our babies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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