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A sad update about my Brother Alan


Fall54

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Hi all,

I know I have been absent a bit lately but I plan to be absent a lot more come Monday. I am leaving for Maine to be with my Brother and join the rest of my family that is headed in from North Carolina. The DR. told my other Brother that it was time to call the family together to pay our final respects to Alan. He said it should be done in the next week or 2.

Alan was admitted into the hospital and they did an ultra sound of his heart and found the cancer had spread there and he had a lot of fluid around his heart. It was drained that night but surgery was done the next morning to make a window from the sac that surrounds the heart so that the fluid could drain into his chest cavity and his body could absorb it. Right now he is on a machine that drains the fluid into a bag of some sort and will be for 4 days. We were also told that he could go into cardiac arrest at any time.

To think he was only dx in January 04 and after his first cat scan after chemo his tumors had shrunk 50%. They told him he was half way in remission. That gave him a lot of hope. I did tell him of the things I had read here about the roller coaster ride and that he should not be devasted if he went in and there had been some growth. He had thought that he may be in full remission the next time and I didnt want him to expect that but to hope and pray for that.

His confusion was also dealt with and he was being over medicated and just today he was able to talk with me on the phone and understand and respond the way he always had been able to. It was wonderful to be able to REALLY talk with him. It was also sad because I told him the family was all coming and I didnt want him to think he was going to die and everyone was rushing here because of that. I told him "Alan, they are not coming because they think you are going to die, but because you are seriously ill and they want to see you." He seemed to accept that. I do not want him to give up hope as I havent and I still believe in miracles if it is Gods wish. If it is God's wish to take him home we all have to accept that and be happy he is in the hands of the Lord. No more pain and suffering and no more worries for him.

I am writing this as bravely as I can as I have this huge lump in my throat and am not ready to lose my Brother here on this Earth. I guess when you love someone as I do him, you are never ready. I am also worried about my Mother who just returned home after spending 3 weeks here and a week with Alan here at my house. She is on her way back with Brothers and Sisters and she is 78 years young. I can't imagine losing one of of my children and she is having a very tough time of it. As I have told you all we have a big family (5 boys and 3 girls) and Alan if he passes will be the first. The heartache is almost too much right now. I hope I am able to cope if he does. My Dad also passed away when he was 46 ( Alan's age) and Alan always said he never thought he would live beyond 46 himself.

I will miss you all when I am gone. My Brother Gary has a computer and I may get on it and drop you all a line from there if I can. Please keep us all in your prayers as I will you.

God Bless you all,

Jane

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Jane,

I am so sorry to hear that Alan is not doing well. It will be hard Jane, probably the hardest thing you've ever done, but you can do this. I wish you strength to help your brother and your family.

We will all be thinking of you and pulling for you and Alan.

Rochelle

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Guest bean_si (Not Active)

Jane, I am sorry you and your family are having so much pain. Know that you are in our hearts and a multitude of prayers will be going out to you.

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OH Jane, I am so so sorry. You're brother is too young, and this should not be happening to him or anyone. Please know that you both are in my heart and I am saying prayers very loud foryour family.

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Hi Jane, I, too, am so sorry you and your family have to face this hard time with your brother, Alan. Ry is right - it will be hard, but you can do this. As you already know, God will give you the strength you need to cope, and I bet you will be the strong one for the rest of your family - it sounds like your mom is really going to need you.

God bless you,

Peggy

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Jane,

Know that I will be thinking of you and your family and praying for you all and that miracle for your brother. I believe miracles do happen, I never gave up on one for my father, so don't you ever give up either. Stay strong, as I know you will. Somehow we all find it when we need it the most. I don't know how, but we do.

Karen

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Jane,

So sorry for the sudden turn of things. Just wanted to let you know that you and your family will be in my prayers as they have been. Please remember that God never puts more on us then we can handle. I lost my brother to cancer in 1999 and mom in 2000. When I took my brother to the ER the last time the doctor ask me if he had a living will. I said no. He then ask me if he had any medical problems. The onc had told me 3 days prior that he only had days. Anyway I told the ER doctor ...do what you got to do. He again told me with his problems that life support was only punish him more. I again said...do what you got to do. I stepped outside and used cell to call my Pastor to just talk. I did not know what decision to make concerning life support. My Pastor told me that if someone was ready to go then to not keep them here and prevent them from going home to be with the Lord. But if they were not saved and ready to go then keep them on life support till they got saved (if possible).

Did not mean to throw all this in but just started typing. Again I will be praying for you. God Bless.

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