New to group and Scared

[Guest makwa_04]

Hello new to group. I joined due to recent developements

Had a sever back problem all winter, was being treated for that

{disk problem} Never got better and pain got so severe ahd to go ER

and seek a pain killer

well to make it short, thay made new xrays and tests and found a

massive tumor on my left lung, which they say spread to my back.

All this was found out this week. Im at a total loss.

On heavy meds now for pain.. more tests being done out patient

ER scarred the crap out me.. the nurse said they was admittoing me but

not for back problem, then Doc came and and told me of the massive

tumor.. Well right off the bat he said we will get you pastorial

services.. possibly Hospice BUT we have excellent treatment for this

problem UNLESS its went ouside the lung, of which it appears to have done.

So I left ER went a cancer Doc and test are being done now

Im just at a total loss menal state wise. Im in my mid fiftys

so this is my intro and i hate to give it.. but have. Still I have not had the CT test or bone scan, but are getting scheduled. As noted Im on heavy meds for the back pain now and got last night 4 hours sleep sloid. The first

sleep in several weeks.

What really ticks me off was the way the ER doc told me AND he in basic wrote me off right off the bat.

Im now with a private Doc, that is hooked to same hospital.

I dont know about all this Im at a total loss. And being alone {single} with only one living realtion left makes it worse

I was/am taking care of my elderly mother who also had cancer several years ago and had part of stomach removed and one kidney

and she is 84.

Im normally a highly active outdoors person. I felt so bad last week I had to call the local church and see if they might have someone that could mow our front yard as it had grown so high.. They sent somebody and Im thankful

I dont know what to do, think, plan for or even check into at this point.

As Ive said i have no relation living except one. and i now feel I have to keep them somewhat shielded form this as best as i can

Forgive my spelling and typos Im on the meds for this severe back pain.

Of which the ER doc said the lung tumor {huge} had spread to the vertrae

BTW Im a male with no prior history of cancer . Have only had ulcers in my life and a what i thought was a slipped disk

My mind today is almost in a total mental shutdown. Im just exhaused

and i hate to admit it. plain downright scared

Thanks for reading this.

Im going to try eating again {im loosing weight} The ulcers i have are acting up and the meds make it worse. Ive been throwing up most all solid food.

And to be real honest, I really have no craving to eat. other than milk or a snack of somekind.

I just dont know what to do, ask or say

Thanks

[jamie]

Hi there,

If you are scared, youve definitly come to the right place.... When my dad found out he had a HUGE tumor (size of a grapefruit!) on his lung... before he was even dx'd with LC, I came here. Scared out of my wits and really unsure of what to think of all this. Everyone helped me tremendously. I urge you to read everyones posts, and talk to your doctors. There is always hope in any case. Until you really find out what is going on, try to stay off the internet (except this site)...cause I did that, and I had myself in a crazy state for nothing. Please let us know whats going on when you find out... we'd love to hear from you. Good luck and best wishes...

Jamie

[Snowflake]

Welcome to the group!

...and by the way, you're "normal". That scared feeling doesn't ever go away completely (read the board for people posting around test time to see that). First thing you need to do is work through accepting diagnosis. No, that's NOT accepting a "death sentence", it's accepting the fact that you have been struck by a pretty serious disease and need to concentrate on getting better. Try to relax...

Your ER doctor? Don't listen to all that drivel. ER doctors are there for IMMEDIATE treatment of life-threatening ailments. Once they patch you all up - a little bit of spackle and new coat of paint, they're finished with you, "follow up with primary care physician". The buck is passed back to your family doctor - family doctor can then suggest specialists in whatever field.

ER doctors are good for Band-Aids and keeping you going until the specialist can check in. They do NOT specialize in cancer, just in some of the side effects...don't depend on what the ER doctor said, he's not up on the field of lung cancer studies.

STOP....sit down.....breathe.....breathe....

Get the pain under control, THEN work with your medical team to fight the little monster that was hiding in your body. You now know it's there, get rid of it as much as possible. There are many treatments and many more coming down the pike in the fight against lung cancer. Talk to your oncologist, get the knowledge you need for your particular monster...be sure to take written questions to your appointments.

If there isn't anyone to go with you, make sure YOU take good notes. Ask the questions, write the answers - or take a tape recorder.

Best of everything,

Becky

[Donna G]

Believe me your reaction to all this is really normal. I was told I had a tumor in my right uppper lobe of lung when I went to the clinic for shoulder pain. I though I had pulled a muscle , never dreamt of being told I had cancer! I cried all the way home, called my husband and could barely tell him what happened because of my weaping. I had lost weight recently at the time also. Try to at least drink some boost or carnation instant breakfast. Great that you have a church community. Mine helped me out so much with emotional support, rides to chemo, and lots of prayers ( It has been scientifally proven that people do better when prayed for , even if they don't know it is being done) I was so upset I even was annointed , which I believe helped also. Most of us during treatment are helped by antidepressants. From your post your journey is just beginning, lots of tests, appointments, setting up a plan. This can be beaten. Please keep us posted on your progress. Donna G

[MO_Sugar]

Welcome to the family. I am sorry you have to be here but glad you found us. Chances are good someone here has gone through the same things you are so can answer any questions. The rest of us offer prayers and good wishes and they count too!

Don't belives the statistics, they are WRONG! Have your Dr. get you something to help with the nausea (Ativan helped me and it helps you sleep). Depending on the type of cancer they may do a chemo / radiation combo or they may do surgery. In any case you have us all in your corner.

God Bless and please keep in touch,

MO

[BJ]

Hello and Welcome!

Being scared is normal and for me it never goes completely away, but as time passes It gets easier. I'm sure someone who has had your experience will reply back to you. I just wanted to let you know that your not alone, and you can learn much from this board. This is a good group of people.

Also try drinking Boost or Ensure. At least you will get some nutritional value from them.

BJ

[mhutch1366]

Hi, and welcome....

I understand you're absolutely freaked and panicked.

You've come to a place where the people are compassionate, supportive, and are on the same roller coaster ride, although in different places along the track.

Find doctors who are positive in outlook, and ask plenty of questions.

Hint: Write down the answers, and the questions.

There are protocols to treat all kinds of tumors, like the pancoast tumor I had which gave me a lot of shoulder pain.

Keep us posted, Miracles happen every day.

PM if you would like.

Prayers, always.

XOXOX

MaryAnn

[MayFrog]

Welcome...you've found the perfect place to be at this horribly uncertain time of your life.

Try to throw whatever the ER doc said to you out the window....their philosophy is stick em, stitch em, get em outta here.....they are not adept at discussing long term scenarios. I hope you found a good onc that you can talk openly with....this is a must. You need to know all your options. There are so many treatment options available for all types of lung cancer...just surf through this site.

I know you're scared spitless right now...and probably can't think straight. You wouldn't be normal if you weren't. Try to stay calm til all the tests and scans are done...you're wasting precious energy worrying. I know that's a tall order, but try. Tell your doc that the pain meds are aggravating your ulcers (notorious for stomach problems)....hopefully they will give you Ativan which works wonders for anxiety and nausea.....and will more than likely give you pain meds that you can deal with better. There are a lot of choices.

It's good you have support with your church, you need caring people right now. This board is wonderful...you can come here anytime to question, cry, vent....whatever is going on in your head, someone here has gone thru it too. You are NOT alone....when someone here says they know how you feel, they KNOW how you feel!!

Please stay in touch, and let us know how you are progressing.

Will keep you in my thoughts......Mary

[DeanCarl]

Of course you're scared. You've just found out you probably have cancer. I said "probably" because all the tests aren't done yet. So alot of what you're feeling is about not knowing exactly what you are dealing with. That is about a normal as it gets.

First and formost know this: A DX OF LUNG CANCER IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE. Not in todays world. There are folks right here on this board who've been diagnosed with every type and stage of this disease and have blown the doctors predictions right out of the water. They have survived months, even YEARS, longer than the "experts" told them they would.

Secondly: The next time you see that ER doctor, punk slap him up along side the head ... HARD. He doesn't have a clue what he is talking about and needs a lesson in when to keep his fat mouth shut. The truth is there are excelent treatments available no matter if the cancer has spread or not.

Thirdly: You're tired. You haven't slept well in a while. Being tired has a huge adverse affect on the mind and the emotions. Get that pain under control and do whatever you need to do to get some rest.

As for what to "plan" for? Well, it's going to be a bumpy ride. There is no denying that. But you don't have to travel the road alone. The folks here are a fantastic bunch, many that have been where you are going. Stick close and lean on us when you have to.

Once you get your final diagnosis (after the scans and such) there is a TON of good information you can get from the folks here. In the meantime please let us know how you are doing.

Dean

[kimblanchard]

Welcome, Where you are now is the scariest spot you have ever been in your life...it was for me. I am 59 and in absolutely perfect health, except for one problem...I have stage IV NSLC Lung Cancer. Your oncologist will teach you what the stages mean. You have received a lot of wonderful help already from this great group and I have only one thing to add. An action that has helped me numerous times....CRY.... It is a wonderful way to let your emotions out and you will feel much better, and the beauty of it is that you can CRY as often as you need. We'll all be here to help you as much as we can, but you must also help yourself and fight this awful foe.

jim

[Guest Phyllis]

Hi, I am sorry anyone ever has to go through this. I can't really add anything to the other valuable advice given. I stopped listening to doctors and their gloomy outlooks a long time ago. I have been told I was going to die many times since I have had cancer and it hasn't happened yet.

You should not be suffering though. You will need a good oncologists with great nurses, who worry about your every little cough and sneeze. Could you check with your local American Cancer Society for a support person? I know at my hospital there are church members and I think volunteers that help some of the patients. I have thought about asking myself just in case I need some additional help.

[brm1949]

Welcome,

You have found a good place to be considering your present problems, this site is more informative and supportive than anyone I have come in contact with since my DX. That includes my doctors. You will be on an emotional rollercoaster so please come back and let us be of whatever help we can. Sorry you had to find us.

[slinaresholz]

Hello and welcome to you,

Try not to dwell on your problem. It is overwhelming but even if it is cancer, they may be able to do radiation to reduce the pain and the size of the tumor. I find I just feel worse if I keep dwelling on things. I had a hard time sleeping in the beginning too. Acetophetomen PM seemed to help me sleep. My friend had a giant tumor on his chest and that was nearly three years ago. He had a lot of pain. They gave him chemo and radiation. I am about the same age as you. They weren't even sure it was malignant until they finally operated. I had a tumor of 1.8 cm on my lower right lobe near my back. I think they have better luck with chemo and radiation on the larger tumors. Sometims it helps just to read these posts and you learn from other cases. Best of luck to you!

Sharon

[Guest makwa_04]

Thanks for the wwarm welcome from all whom wrote.

I cant answer each and every post.. But your post sure helped, at least my mentsl state

I awoke 12:30 this morning form the back pain, as the pills wore off and been up ever since. Although more pils are now kicking in. I have anoter day of tests and it will be a full day.

The CT scan was done yesterday and it was confirmed that i have a large mass on lung and another one.. no other was told to me pending the bone scans tests to day.

Doc/nurse did say test will be back in monday and then he wil make a decision on what or if to do. But he told me direct that most likely he aould send me to a lung docote or a chemo or radition guy

they are expiditeing my tests and cutting through red tape to getting done as soon as possibel

My mental state is bonkers. As i guess it should be. Im just overloaded and more so with the pain. Id be in a real mess with out these pills for that.

I went that route a coule weeks just taking advil by the handfull

So I know that route well.

This is the only forum/mail list to be hones that anybody answered my post

And a nice lady form a yahoo list gave me a link for this site here. Or I owuld not know about it at all.

As noted i have no real family living... just some normal frinds, i guess like anyone else.

No one else knows about cancer or waht Im dealing wih. So here it seems to be a haven

Im not getting my hopes up on beating this.. Im just in a mental void right now

and starting to digest info and data. And to be honest I know nothing of the "hospital system" its protocal ect.

Im a remote country guy with a simple lifestyle

thanks to all whom have answered my original post !!!

Something POSITIVE to read and correct info on issues I know nothing of !!

My pill has well kicked in now, to pain has let down and I guess one would say Im a "drunk" at the present. Just kinda floating around At this monent i doubt Id know if i snubbed my toe or fell outa the chair.

again thanks to all

I will try to answer what I can of all the off forum email that was sent me

If I dont get to it right away. Please forgive me at the present

makwa

[cathy]

I wanted to welcome you as well, and dont worry about answering to everyones response, everyone here understands your situation, some more than others. I am sorry that you have to be here, but glad you have found some sort of support system, your journey will be a little easier having the people here to guide you along the way....

[Donna G]

I know you are real busy but just a thought, if you can squeeze in a dental check up that would be good. After you start chemo it is not a good time to have someone in your mouth. Having nice clean gums, teeth, no cavities, etc helps . It would be nice. Donna G

[Margaret]

Just wanted to extend my welcome to you. I was diagnosed at age 60, live with my companion dog, am caring for my 90 year old mother (who had to be placed in elder care last year after broken hip) and so I know some of which you write. I think the first shock of diagnosis and that frightening sense of no control over what is going on is the WORST. Cancer is a life changing experience, but it doesn't have to be only bad. Use the support systems you have, like your church, neighbors, friends - old and new and you'll get the sense of how strong the desire to help is in people. And especially come to this board with any and all of your concerns and feelings and questions...we will all pull with you every step of the way.

Peace,

Margaret

[Rileys mom]

I know that you are very scared right now and believe me you have every right to be. Just the word cancer can scare you right out of your skin. My advice to you (from one scared patient to another) is to take one day at a time. Deal with this monster in stages, work with your Dr. closely to find the best way to treat this desease. When I was diagnosed I was also alone...I thought that I had pneumonia when my pulmonologist told me that it was cancer. I was outraged! but I got through the day, I had to tell my family, my friends and my co-workers and I actually ended up being the strongest one. A positive mind and positive attitude will give you more strength then you ever knew that you had and if you need a strong support group...a large caring and wonderful support group...we are all right here.

[tess]

My husband started out just the way you did. He thought he had a bad disc too. It had spread to the bones, and he was is so much pain. Sounds like you will need radiation on your bones too. If you can, opt for the 3D radiation, it only radiates where the cancer is. It will be a lot easier on you. It also will make you very tired... Good Luck and we hope the best for you. Don't listen to the Dr's, their initials are not G.O.D.

Tess

[MommaL]

Welcome! And it is scary and awful. My husband thought he had blood clots and the cause of the clots was lung cancer. So, it is very scary...but believe me, it will get better. There are many treatment options and the more tests that are run, the more you will know. Knowing the plan of action is half the battle. You will find alot of information and comfort here.

[TJSMOM]

I'm sorry that you have to be here. I can't say that I know exactly how you feel because I don't have cancer but my dad does and it's no doubt the scariest word I and my family have had to deal with. He is scheduled for surgery on 6/3/04. The friends I feel I have found on this board are wonderful. No matter how I am feeling I know that they are there for me and I've only been here a little while. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I'm sure God is holding you in His hands to help you through the physical and emotional pain you are experiencing. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

God bless!!!

[Fall54]

Welcome to the best site on the net for support, friendship and that family you so badly need.

I am a Sister going through this with my Brother and will say it is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with and put in perspective. Jim told you to cry when you needed to... He is so right!! I cry often and it helps me so much! The stress it releases is so cleansing.

I can only imagine your fear, however I can feel it through your post. Fight like a trooper and come here often to get support and give support. It has been EVERYTHING to me to know I can come here and help others or get the help, support and answers I need. The answers arent candy coated but there is so much empathy in them. You are in a Family now of wonderful caring compassionate people and we welcome you.

God Bless You,

Jane

PM me if you like.

[Ry]

I can't add anything to all these wonderful posts. Just want to say welcome and keep us posted as you move along this path.

All the best to you

Rochelle

[paddy]

Welcome Makwa,

You have had some great advice and help from our friends here already, but I would like to add something. Is it possible that you could get some of your friends to help you look after your Mother. It sounds as if you will be needing time to attend to your own healing and time to rest too.

I do hope you will soon get your pain mastered so that you will be able to fight the fight with a clearer head.

You will be on my long prayer list,

Paddy

[barbara w]

Welcome -

I'm fairly new to this board, my dad was recently diagnosed, and I cannot tell you how supportive everyone has been. My dad felt that the time from diagnosis until treatment began was hell. Once you have a more clear picture of what you're dealing with it will be tough, but lean on us here for help.

Barbara