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james

hey im new

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hey my name is james and my mom was just diagnosed with lung cancer about two or three weeks ago and the doctors said that she has a year and that chemo would only slow it down and that theirs really nothing that they can do about it.

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hi james,

first and foremost, the doctors cannot tell you how much time you have. second, there are many survivors here that can tell you that the doctors gave them very limited time, and yet they have surpassed all expectations. i'm so sorry that you had to find this site under the circumstances, but please feel free to ask any questions that you may have or just vent if you need to. i know that this must be a shock to you. when my mom was diagnosed, i felt helpless too. i would like to say that it gets "easier," but i don't think that's necessarily the right word. there are ups and downs, but this site proves that there is always support and hope when you need it. i send my prayers out to you and your family. take care.

God bless,

mj

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James

Welcome to the place no one really wants to be. But I know that since you have the need you can find lots of suppot and answers to questions. MJ already told you that no Drs are 100 per cent correct--so don't lose hope.

Do you have other information about your mom's DX and circumstances? Did she get a second opinion? If not, pls try to have her do that--especially at one of this country's Cancer Centers. Where are you located. Someone on here is sure to know the best place to go in your area.

If you can provide more detail--about mets, or no mets etc. I think we can offer more help to you. Also the type of lc would be helpful to know.

How old are you? I know this is tough, so pls hang on !

love and fortitude

elaine

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Hi, James. As said, the doctors cannot tell an individual how much time they have -- certainly not at diagnosis. They are relying on statistics, and old ones at that. If your doctor does not have a way of fighting this disease and is not willing to do so, find another doctor who will. As said, we need more info on your mother in order to help answer your questions. Good luck. Don

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James,

So sorry to hear about your mom. I agree with Don, you and your mom should look into finding a doctor that will agressively treat her. There is always hope. I was given less than a year and I just made it to 17 months!

Keep up the hope and let us know if we can be of any help.

TAnn

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well i dont really kno that much and i dont kno what mets are but i will find out more and post another message tomarrow and i live in knoxville iowa and her doctor has her doing chemo she has had one treatment and she is sick and feels rally bad and is sleeping alot gut yea thank you all for responding to me massage hope to hear from you again and im glad that you have out lived your date that the doc gave you and hope you overcome it and i hope my mom can to im trying my hardest to be strong but this is alot for me to deal with my mom has been all ive had for parents and yea im a huge mommas boy oh and im 19 and i have a 7 year old sister and a 27 year old brother. and my mom told me that if it came down to it that my sister wasnt going with my brother so yea im so scared right now she coughs up blood all the time and theirs nothing that i can do and i dont kno what to do about it so yea im hoping that you guys can help me out Thanx

james

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Welcome James...you found a great place for support and info. Sorry to hear of your Moms diagnosis, but this group is very good place to help you deal with what you now need to deal with and learn about, etc..

Look forward to what you can find out....cya then.

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Hey there James.

Find your mother another doctor who hasn't already added your mom to the statistic pile. Each individual reacts differently to the treatments. And there are new treatments and clinical trials coming out all the time. There is hope for longer life, but you need a doctor that believes that is a possibility. Keep us posted James, and stay strong for your mom and sister. Take care.

David P.

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Hi James - Katha here (Nicole's aunt in Georgia). Glad you took my and Lisa's advice and got to this site. There's a wealth of information here, and I would highly advise you to take the advice of these great folks. Please don't assume that what happened to my brother will happen to your Mom . . . everyone is different.

First and foremost, PLEASE find another doctor to take your Mom to and get that second opinion. From what Lisa told me, they don't think your Mom's cancer has spread. Yahoo!! And if that's the case, there's a LOT they can do for her. I know it's a lot for a 19-year-old, but I've met you, and I know you're a sharp, together guy who's able to handle this (regardless of what you think!) Feel free to e-mail me (I think you have my address, but let me know if you don't) if I can help in any way whatsoever. And by the way - do you want me to e-mail you one of those photos I took back in the Spring so you can add it to your profile?

Take care - keep holding on, and we'll catch you when it seems like you're falling.

Praying for us all,

TeeTaa

And to the rest of y'all - James is a close friend of my brother/sister-in-law and their kids - and he looks great in a tux. I know, cause I saw him headed to my niece's prom!!

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James,

My middle son was 18 years old when I was first diagnosed. He was a tremedous help to me in those early days, and over the past 5 years since my diagnosis.

You need to find your Mom another Oncologist. Are you able to drive her out of your local community to be seen by another Oncologist?

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Dear James,

Welcome to the board NONE of us wish to be a part of. However, I don't know where I would be sometimes without these wonderful people here.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Sounds like you have your hands full! I wish to share with you that at the TOP of the Board here, you will see things that say: Home, Members, FAQ, Search, Glossary, etc....

In the Glossary area you will find answers to words you don't know, such as METS (metastasis), or Small Cell Lung Cancer (OAT CELL)

Etc.... it may better help you to understand some of what your mom has or is dealing with. And by all means, if you need help or don't understand something, PLEASE feel free to come here and ask any of us. Someone here will have an answer for you I'm sure!

Take care and Stay with us.

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James,

all i can tell you from you from a two time exp. with LC is that nothing is for sure, nothing is certain, and anyone can beat the odds. Everyone is different and responds to treatment differently and some beat it for years while others don't. Both my parents died from LC 9 months apart and neither lived more than 6 months with it, but they were both told they would go into remission and live for a few more years. SO my point is, no one is GOD and only he says when the fat lady is gonna sing.

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Hi James, welcome but sorry you have to be here. My son was 18 when I was first diagnosed and I know it was rough on him. (He is an only child and a bit of a Mamma's boy himself - which is just fine with me). Just take one day at a time and just let your Mom know that you love her. I am so sorry that this is happening to you but I just know you can handle it. Please keep in touch so we can help.

Hugs and Prayers,

Nancy B

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Hi James, it is absolutely true that no one can tell your mom what the future holds for her. I have a number of patients who have blown away the statistics including a man with lung cancer that had spread to his spine and fractured his vertebrae. He's alive and well with no signs of cancer now coming up on 5 years. Your mom is a person, not a statistic and people can do amazing things.

Joe

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James I'm going through much the same thing you are. My mom was finally diagnosed 2 weeks ago. I'm new here too. Do you know what type of LC she was diagnosed with?

I can't add much to what other more learned members here have said. Get her to a Doctor who is willing to help her and encourage her. Don't take "no" for an answer. Ignore the statistics because your mom isn't a statistic.

Like the Doctor told my mom, "the man upstairs doesn't talk to me" so I can't tell you "how long".

Get a second or even a 3rd, 4th, or 5th opinion if necessary.

Finally, I'm glad you found us.

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To James and deruo - WELCOME!

I hope you both find comfort and wisdom and knowledge here that will help you through this most unwelcome part of life.

Remember - there are absolutely NO stupid questions here. If you don't understand an abbreviation or a term or an explanation, just ask what it means. Some of us have posted so long that we don't even realize we're posting in 'shorthand' (does anyone remember what shorthand is (was)??)

Anyway, please keep us updated.

By the way, James, I am TeeTaa's (Katha's) sister and she told me about your situation. I, too, am here and willing to help you in any way possible. Just ask.

ViVi

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Welcome, James :)

Sorry you have to be here, but glad you found us. Hoping all goes well with your mom....the first few weeks after diagnosis can be so confusing and stressful.

My two oldest were 19 & 20 when I was first diagnosed (actually, my oldest turned 21 on that day :? ) They were a great source of inspiration for me, and helped keep my spirits up which is so, so important.

Post anytime with any question you may have......big or small.....doesn't matter.....someone will have an answer for you (more than likely, several someones :) )

Hope to see you often,

Mary

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James,

The University of Iowa, Iowa City has the best cancer center in the state. You aren't far from there (well by the Iowa definition of far, lol). Can you get your mom an appointment there? I think they might have satellite offices, but I am not sure, so call them.

love and fortitude

elaine

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Hi, James;

Not much to add except ASK ANY AND ALL QUESTIONS! Knowledge is power and you can get real powerful listening to some of these folks.

Welcome to the lchelp family and to your sidebar family....I'm another of Katha's sisters (yep there are four sisters). And I love acquiring "adopted" nieces and nephews so consider yourself one.

All you have to do is call, e-mail or private message and one of us Hall girls will be there.

Fran

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Hi James,

I am glad that you are here. This is a time for no one to be alone. It is very normal to be scared. It is a good thing to talk about your fears if you can. Cry. Find your good friends and talk and get some good hugs. Breathe deeply and often. You can get through this. And you can be a big help to your mom and your little sister. Your sister needs to be with her best friends now too. A sleepover would probably be good for her. I can tell you are a very courageous young man. You can do this, but it best not to do it alone. Bless you and your Mom. Cindi o'h

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Hi James, you found the best place for support and info on the web for LC. I am so sorry to hear that your mother has to fight this beast, and am very sorry that you at 19 most take on such a heavy load. Don't be afraid to vent here, as things can get pretty tough. We will help you with all we can and support you as best we can. I agree with what others have said here and get another opion. There is no way they can put an actual time frame on your mother. There are way to many variables.

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