Peggy, thanks for sharing that. It is the fine line all us caregivers walk, and you expressed it so well. Patients need to do "normal" things if they can, and we need to let them, if it won't cause injury. I let Lucie drive short distances sometimes when she feels up to it, because she did a lot of the driving when we were together and when she was by herself. It is something that is normal and that sheycan control. Control is a big issue with serious disease, because the disease robs one of control of one's life.
When I get anxious and overwhelmed as the caregiver, I go out and run errands or go to the park, or do something I can control. Control is also a need with the caregiver, because we can't solve the problem.
Lucie loves to sew, and she has been overdoing it (I think), but I let her do it because it is important to her to have something to do positively and to look forward to. I hug her when she wears herself out to let her know I understand.
We talk about all the "normal" issues to give some sanity back into our situation and to move on. It is a hard road, but it is worth every effort. And maybe that is one of the things we are supposed to learn. Don