Treebywater

Oh Lori... I just wish there was something I could say that might help... Just know that I care. Am sending (((((hugs))))) and prayers.

Martha, It could be the morphine, but it sounds more like the dying process. Do talk to the hospice nurses... When she was able to talk was she in pain? When my Mom died, her last two days she was non-responsive. Essentially she was in a type of coma. I think we get these ideas in our head about what we think those last few days are going to look like, and I think often the reality doesn't match the pictures. Mom's decline came quickly over the course of two weeks with every single day bringing something new and more devestating. As I said the last two days she didn't respond at all. PM me if you want. If you have a number to call a hospice nurse, DO SO and ask LOTS of questions. ((((((hugs))))) to you. I know how much this hurts. Just know you are doing all that you can for your Mama, and she knows that too.

Beth-- Reading that helped me. I'm not sure why... I guess because I haven't talked about what happened those last few days with Mom yet... and somehow your sharing what happened with Bill made me feel less alone in that. So thank you. You are remarkable. And I just feel honored to know you even a little bit.

Smiles, smiles, smiles of relief. You kiss that beautiful hunka NED for me... And Kiss that hunka Fred too--but for you, not me. SOOOOO glad, Kasey!!!! So, SO, SOOOO GLAD!!!!

I have no input on the whys... I'm so sorry this is happening. I do know that when things get to this point with loved ones who are running out of time family tensions get REALLY HIGH really quick. It seems so unfair on top of everything else... But I get the feeling that it's really common. Hopefully things will calm down, and he'll be more rational soon. (((hugs)))) hang in there. I know it's terribly difficult.

((((Lori)))) (((((Lori's Mama))))) Keep us posted.

Praying that it's nothing, Heidi. Hang in there!

Ahem... To Connie I offer a poem: C--Come back soon! (What we want you to do) O--Ornery! (One thing we miss about you) N--No more nonsense (What we will tolerate from this heart-trouble stuff) N--No trouble to the nurses (The kind of patient we are sure you are) I--Ice Cream (What you really need to help you recuperate quickly) E--Encouragement (What we are offering back to you, since you lavish us with it) Feel better and get back here! We miss you! love, Val

Karen, I'm so sorry your Mom is declining so rapidly. I know it is hard to watch, and must be even harder after having done it with Dave so soon before. Praying for you all. I'm also sorry to hear of this other terrible loss. ((((Karen and Faith)))))

AWESOME!!!!

Jana--I swear you can't write a post or a PM where something doesn't just jump out at me and make me go EXACTLY!!! And this time it was that quote. I think the reason that I don't constantly 'live in the grief' these days is that it does seem so absurd... so my mind sort of dismisses it... and then, something jars me out of it, and I think... WHAT?! You are so right. It just seems absurd. Thank you for again giving words to my thoughts.

You'll think I'm crazy, but we did Slim Fast. It doesn't have a diuretic in it, but it does have protein and calories (after all, it's designed to be a meal replacement). Our doctor OKd it as well... As my Aunt said, "It has to taste good for us chubby people to even consider it." Also try mixing the boost or ensure in with some ice cream.

I called Hospice, "the H-word" because I so didn't want to get there... and when we finally did, it was so hard. Such a horrible feeling admitting that you are to that point. ((((hugs))))) to you. We're here to support you.

I'm so sorry, Holly. There aren't any words that will make it feel better, but know that I'm here hurting with you. You will make it through this--because you are right, God will carry you... You have my number. Please call anytime. I'm just so sorry.

Got made tears as well as laughter, and a good pity party has both. I'll bring the ice cream--what kind do you like, Fay?

((((Sue))))) Praying here right now.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's a very hard road to walk, but I know it means so much to your Mama to have you by her side. I agree--hospice can be a great help. But I also want to say even if you don't feel like you can hold it together and do this, you CAN and you WILL. It's just something that you do because you have to, you know? There will be times when you'll stumble, and times when it feels like you can't go on, but you will... and those two little ones of yours will be one of the reasons you do. We'll support you in any way we can. Val

I'm so sorry, Carol... You loved him so well during his last days.

I'm sorry I'm so late in saying so, but welcome to the boards and I'm sorry your Dad and your family are going through this. Don't forget, even as you encourage your Daddy to be more proactive to love him where his is. We'll be here to root you and him on! Val

I'm so sorry, Mitzu.

A Yellowish tinge would be something to report to the doctor to rule out liver problems. Try not to worry too much yet, but definitely do confer with the doctor.

Crying here just reading about it. Those moments are *so* special. I'm so glad you had one.

I'm so sorry, Denise.

I took down the Christmas Tree today, and I can't entirely explain why.... but it felt like I was burying Mom all over again. I guess it was maybe because it was all of HER ornaments I was taking down. And each one I touched brought back a memory--of Christmases when I was little, or putting up the tree with Mom (that was always OUR thing to do)... There was the ornament with the photo of the house that Mom grew up in that she cherished, and the crystal egg ornament that she loved so much... all the little wooden ornaments that we've hung since I was little.... Each one I took down, and put away and couldn't look at again. And it just made me feel like I was losing her all over. It's been a tough couple of days inside my head. Outside of it, I'm doing very well, but inside different things are hitting pretty hard. Last night, I lay in bed for a long time thinking about Mom's last few days--little things about that time... Moments that she looked at Daddy and I could tell he was still her sweetheart, and moments when she called me by my aunt's name instead of mine... and how angry I was at my aunt for stealing Mom's last few lucid days (I'm not angry at her... it's not her fault... but when I think of that I AM angry). I thought of all the music I put in and listened to with her after the confusion had taken over and she wasn't able to verbalize anymore. I was just so hoping that the HER part of her still heard. I thought of her hands... and holding them, and the way her fingernails always looked... I thought of how angry I got with my aunt when she left in a huff a few days before Mom died... Just so many difficult things to remember. And they all sting just as much. The thing is... I DO think I'm 'doing better.' But I don't really 'feel' better. All the grief I feel is every bit as bitter and intense as it was in the beginning and as it began to sink in. It's just... I don't live in it as constantly. It's always there... but I'm not always looking at it. So... I didn't mean to write all of that, but I did. I miss my Mom.

So sorry for your loss.