Treebywater

Oh Leslie... Woman... This news sucks!!! Like Pat said--Here we are. We're gonna cry with you for now, and let you soak our shoulders all you need. And then when you're ready, we're gonna help you put on your boxing gloves (as well as our own) and you're going to kick those brain mets into oblivion. This IS only a temporary trip away from the 'empty-headed club.' You're needed there. Who will show the slides from Rome at the meetings? (((((Leslie)))))

((((Malou)))) Holding you and Thomas up to God right now. We're here for you to lean on when it gets hard to stand up! love, Val

((((Ann))))

Oh Fay.... I can think of only three words that express my sentiments here: That just sucks. I'm sorry things are so awful. You need a break. I won't stop praying for you and right now I'm sending you (very gentle, not squeezing very tight so as not to injure you more) (((((hugs))))))

(((Nancy))) I know our losses were so different... But I've had similar feelings lately (and also was planning on doing the balloon thing! How cool!). In fact today my thought was something along the lines of, "Sometimes, I just HATE what my life looks like now." I know that sounds pessimistic, and I'm *not* pessimistic in general, but that is one of my real thoughts. Anyway... Here's another vote for getting these holidays over as fast as possible. I'm sorry you feel so sad. I hurt with you. love, Val

YAY for Addie's Homeness!!!! So glad to have you back!

Yeah!

Donna You are the miracle. I'm so happy for you.

Jen, I'm praying for you and your Mom. It's not an easy road you travel. I am going to pray specifically that you will have an as much time for abundant life as you can with your Mama.

((((Malou))))

Get my Masters degree.

(((((Addie))))))

Oh Lori... I just hurt for you. I'm so sorry your Mom is going through all that she is... And so sorry that you are going through all you are. I just wish I could come help some way.

((((Lillian))))) I hurt with you.

I had such a good dream last night. Everything was as it was now... DH out, Carolyn here, me here instead of the Northwest... This time of year. But Mom was here too. And she wasn't sick. We were watching football games, and sitting in our old seats around the table, and she was smiling and having fun and walking my Mom's walk instead of my grandmothers as she did those last few months. I was about to go out to a class, and I was trying to make sure it was ok that I left Carolyn with Mom and Dad... And Mom said, "Well Val... i'm here. I can't watch Carolyn..... but I'm here." And I nodded and went to get ready. And it hit me what she meant when I got back to Carolyn's room, and she was there... so I looked at her and said, "You're here!" And gave her a great big hug... Cause I got it. She's HERE. And so I think she really must be here. And that makes me feel good. As did that hug. It was the first GOOD dream I've had about her since she died. The rest have been terrible nightmares. This one I think was a gift and reassurance to me, and I'm so grateful. Just wanted to share.

Oh Jackie!!! Ouch! Prayers on the way!

Just plain awesome!

Just plain awesome!

Just want you to know I'm praying for you both.

I love this, and on one level I really relate to it... But on another I wonder if I'm the only one who *doesn't* like to talk about it... save in very safe places like here. I get all squirmy when people ask 'how are you?' type questions... Maybe it's because I underestimate people and figure they don't really care... But I'm not comfortable with people looking at me and saying, "So how are you?" And if (and very rarely when) people ask about my grief process I feel really uncomfortable talking about it. Am I just weird? I guess I just haven't found very many safe places to really cry yet.

I just love this thread.... Such a good idea. And Connie--Your post was so helpful! What can I tell you about my Mom? She was so dynamic in such a down-to-earth kind of way. Before I was even ten she had taught me the phrase, "Male-dominant stupid gene," but she loved my Daddy... (She just thought he happened to be one of the few good men in the world. ). She LOVED trivial pursuit, and scrabble, and anything involving plays on words. She was funny, and dependable. I think one of greatest gifts she gave me was the ability to believe I had enough self-worth to choose a mate who really respected me.... Oh and when she watched football games... WOW! Sometimes the room would turn blue with all her shouting, and swearing, and carrying on--especially if it was "Da Bears" or The Steelers. I could really go on and on... But most of all she was my Mom... And I think the two things she would say she was proudest of would be being my Mom, and being Carolyn's Gramma.

((((Donna)))) I hurt with you and for you. Sometimes it all just feels like too much, doesn't it? Grief is just so hard. So much harder than anyone ever makes it sound. I wish it was more socially acceptable to talk about it in our society so when we have to go through it (as we all do) we might have an idea of what to expect. Anyway. Thinking of you... love, Val

Oh Pat... It's so hard isn't it... To know what is right? You're doing a GOOD JOB of figuring it out as you go. Bri is so amazing, and you are too. I wish I had helpful insight, but I don't. I do have prayers, and much, much love to offer. love, Val

No wisdom here... Just a big hug: ((((Lori)))) You are an incredible woman, and such a wonderful daughter. I hope your step-father gets his act together... love, Val

((((Melinda))))) Praying for you, and for your Mom. I think... just like part of us starts to prepare for the what ifs, that your Mom is likely trying to make sense of the what-ifs and make peace with them. And she wants you to know that she is ok come what may. It doesn't mean the what ifs will happen.... Just that she wants you to know that she is ok. I know how very hard it is. It was so hard for me too. But it is GOOD that your Mom feels able to talk about these things with you. I can remember having conversations with my Mom in a very calm, rational manner and thinking later--HOW did I do that? More ((((hugs)))) to you. Let us know when you know about the scans! love, Val