EastCoastLadi

Dawn, I am so sorry about your mom. My sincerest prayers and condolenses go out to you and your family. Grace

Kelly, I am so very sorry. My prayers for your family this evening. Grace

God Saw You God saw you getting tired, and a cure was not to be. So he put his arms around you and whispered, "come with me" With tearful eyes We watched you suffer, And saw you fade away, Although we loved you dearly, we could not make you stay. So when we saw you sleeping so peaceful from your pain, We could not wish you back to suffer that way again A GOLDEN HEART stopped beating hard-working hands at rest. God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the Best... Author unknown

(((Nutbar))) I am so sorry to hear about your mom. Please know I am sending my prayers your way today. Your mom is at peace, the cancer can't harm her anymore... Grace

(((Debbie))) I am so sorry, I know what it is like, your pets are a part of your family, you have lost a dear member. My heart and prayers go out to your and Alan. Grace

Flowergirlie, you know i know all about what you are going thru. look at it this way, as a man, he is being denied his freedom because of this cancer, he is actively grieving, going thru the stages, anger being one of the first things.... Of course, he probably is depressed, and rightfully so, but if he's anything like my husband and unfortunately like many others, don't want to talk to anyone, let alone therapy. i also want to let you know, and I am assuming, but if your husbands' chemo is the same as my husbands' first treatment, he's now experiencing the cumulative effects of all of it. He's probably been given steriods as part of his chemo, and when my husband did, I hated that the most, he became a total pain in the u know what...... I've been going thru this now for over a year w/ my husband, and he has the same diagnosis as yours. right now he isn't working, so he's dealing w/ cancer, not able to work, and now not able to drive, he isn't always the most pleasant person to be around. but it's the way that it is. I won't sugar coat this, your life has changed permanently, I used to think about all the things we were going to do for and in our futures. my husband has his fighting attitude, which has helped him alot. you know your the closest person to your husband so you are the one that is going to get his wrath! I get it too! As spouses we learn the hard way, most days there aren't enough hours. you get so, so tired, you're in shock, you're angry, why?.....and as a mom, you may ask why do our children need to go thru this, they are too young! I know this may sound like it is impossible at this time, but I'm going to give you some advice/suggestions, you may or may not want it, but as someone who has been dragged thru almost everything, maybe it can help you and your family a little bit. - i would also suggest talking to your husbands drs. and nurses where he is getting treatment, let them know about his anger, he may need medication like ativan to calm him down - hook up w/ the social worker where he is getting treatment, let him/her help you out, point you to difference services, help you and your family may qualify for - if you're not in counseling, i would highly suggest it. you need to vent, to someone who can be open to you. you are grieving too, and I know with my grief it is anticipatory, it goes in cycles, some span of times, I'm ok, but then I go downhill at any given time. - also i know you have young children, i do too 8 and 11, please if you haven't already, (whether or not he is there bio. dad or step dad), talk to the teachers and administrators at their school(s)!!! My girls school has been wonderful, they even helped us out at Christmas last year.... please, please know you can PM me anytime.....I do know how you feel... Grace

I come on here and don't even know what to say. I'm so exhausted that I read everyones' posts and want to answer, but my mind goes blank. I read so many profound things people have written, and think if my simple thoughts may not have much meaning. I'm so gone, I actually took my husband out to dinner, and when I paid the bill, I gave a 30% tip!...the problem was I thought I gave 15, but my mind is so screwed up, I can't even do simple math! This is one of those many nights that I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. Not only does my therapist see how close to the edge I am, also my own doctor and my husbands' doctor see this. But what am I to do? Therapy - already doing...Anti-depressants - already doing....ummm Hospitalization to some psych. facility.....what for 72 hrs of being away and worrying about my children and husband. and I'm not suicidal....so I'm not going, don't want to go.... On top of this, my husbands' dr. had the "talk" of sorts w/ me this week. You see I absolutely trust my husbands onc. but my husband is having so much difficulty now. So I pull the dr. aside, tell him about my husbands' depression, my husband really won't do anything - therapy, group. and can't take any more meds w/ what he is taking. but the dr. sat me down, and told me to let him do his job...which of course I do....but you have to understand, I ask many, many questions....I want to know. But besides that I told him about finding out, going online, he told me that was a form of therapy for me....now is it? I'd ask you all. But he is so concerned about me and the girls, he want to know if I have support from others....he told me that it's not a matter of if, but when my husband turns for the worse....but for now he(my husband) is doing very well for his condition. I also know about the downside of brain radition, and was told my husbands' short=term memory will be shot....well mine is! so I guess we'll be the perverbal blind leading the blind.... I see my husband getting more and more tired, he sleeps alot, he's now getting SOB, and gets dizzy at times......I'm so lost....moment to moment is all I can do...but I see the quality of my husbands' life lessening and lessening as the days go by... there are things that I do know that I don't even want to admit, because of fear that I will be viewed as having "lost it"...... Even after all this time, you would think, I would be able to handle this better, but I can't.... Grace

I am sorry to hear about your grandfather. My prayers go out to you and your family. Grace

JOANIE!!! Welcome back!!!!! Grace

(((Nick))) Stay strong, you're going thru so much, I'm sorry that you feel so alone, but you know that no matter how bad you feel, you can come here....and be amongst people who care how you feel and want to be there to comfort you thru your pain... Grace

(((Michele))), I totally understand, my dad passed a little over a year ago and it is still difficult. We try to cope the best we can. I know that with the holidays coming up, it can be extremely difficult as well. Your doing the best you can do, I know that some days it seems unbearable. Please know you and your mom are in my prayers... Grace

I am so sorry to hear of Nancys' passing. My prayers go out to her family... Grace

Darrell, I am so happy that you are feeling better. I know how difficult all your treatment can be. Stay strong!!! Welcome back!!! Grace

(((Kim))), I am so sorry that Mike has to go thru this ordeal. Please know my prayers go out to him and you and your family. Grace

Randy, thank you for letting us know. I'm so sad to hear about Jimben. I hate what this disease does! My prayers go out to his family. Grace

My prayers go out to her family tonight. Grace

Stephanie, my husband has neuropathy as well, and it was caused by the cisplatin, which of course is platium-based and it is known to cause neuropathy in some people. Grace

I am so sorry to hear about your friend Rose, my prayers are going out to her... Grace

Alynn, what your mom is going thru is not out of line with what can happen to someone on chemo and radiation. Tiredness, anxiety and depression . Also, is she on steroids? usually with the chemo treatment iv steroids are given, and they can reek havoc with some people. Also, taking ativan isn't such a bad idea either, but definitely talk w/ your moms dr. about it. Grace

Aimee I also welcome you here! You've found a very support place, everyone here is very compassionate and I'm glad you have found us! Grace

Chris, I'm very sorry about your dad. My prayers go out to you and your family. Please know your dad is at peace. Grace

Welcome to the gang!!! FYI - just a couple of things I've learned from being here: - if you got a question, you're definitely going to get answers from people here - there are no restrictions on your emotions, so no need to apologize if you're having a bad day/week/moment - you are amongst friends Grace

Ginny!!!! B9 - BINGO!!!!! Grace

(((Paulette))) It tears me up inside to read about all the pain your husband is having. Please don't give up. Grace

I'm so sorry about your mother in law. Please know my prayers are with you and your family. Grace