Shelly,
I can only imagine the pain you are going through, I wish I had magic words to make it all go away.
I know that this is giong to sound selfish since I have not yet suffered a great loss like so many of you, but I too find it hard to be my old self and I find that I am always on edge, I get jealous when I see people acting too happy and carefree, I don't understand why people complain over such petty things and get super upset over issues that are not important, etc. I am not sure why I am not my normal self, but I am not, and I too sometimes wonder if I ever will be, or if this is how i will remain forever.
Take care of yourself and I hope you feel a little bit better soon!