DeanCarl Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Well, the wife snitched on me, which is, of course a wife's perogative so I figured I might as well update myself as best I can. Two major problems now are extreme S.O.B. (we're talking take two steps and stitting down for 10 minutes ... and this on full oxygen), violent caughing that can go on for hours, and emotional upset like I've never had to deal with before (usually extreme sadness). Tomarrow is my hospice visit and I'm going to have to ask for help showering. Another thing I can no longer do for myself, along with making my own lunches and snacks and such. They are also bringing in a hospital bed to make my time in the living room more comfortable. I also have the hospice counseler comming over on wednesday. I guess this is the much needed lesson in humility I've needed for so long. But it's really hard for me. I've been the independant, stubborn Norweigen all my life and I hate haveing to ask for a glass of water. While I'm thingking about it, God bless and all my prayers to those of you who have to travell this journy without access to the pain meds that work so well for me. I don't have to ask if I could do it or not. I know I could not! Any little strength of spirit I may have left over is yours to use. On the up side (yes, there is one) we've had a warm sunny spring and the birds in my back yard have just exploded in number! Jay's and finches and waxwings and warblers and you name it. Along with my fovorite: Bobble Head Bird! Bobble Head Bird is a purple finch that likes to sit on the top of the bird house/feeder, throw his head back, open his mouth as far as he can and just SING and SING and SING. Pretty soon his head starts doing that bob and weave thing birds do and he's still singing away! It's like he's saying "I'm the happiest bird in the WHOLE world and I want EVEYONE to know it!!!". Sometimes he'll be there for an hour or more. I love it. Well, that's as much as I can do for now. I'm suprized I was able to write that much. I think it's the stength I draw from the folks here that alows me to do more than what I think I can. God Bless all. Dean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Thanks for posting for us. I am glad your pain is at bay. I too, am taking much joy from my outside birds--we have 4 babies right over our front porch light. It's the simple things gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 I am so glad to see you on Dean. I am glad you are hanging in there and finding the up side to things. My best to you both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Thank you, Dean. Love you. Brian and Pat O Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Dean. Just posted on the other thread after you, asking about the birds, thank you for your beautiful description. Keeping you in my prayers. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annjael Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Dean,,,so glad to hear from you. As always you are an inspiration. Prayers and hugs Peace, Annjael Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Dear Dean, I am so blessed to know you..Your descriptive words made me feel like I was right there with you bird watching..Thank you Dean Carl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 well again Dean, you made me smile.... God Bless You Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Dean, I just moved to a townhouse developement with an 'association'. Bylaws say no 'standing' bird feeders. I joked that I have been looking for 'sitting' bird feeders - no way I was giving up my gold finches. Thank heavens they don't enforce that rule and I now have my 1st thistle feeder attached to my deck. Waiting for a service berry tree to be planted so my dear birds have a place to flit to in between bites. Dean, you have always made us stop and smell the roses (or listen to the birds sing). I wish you peace. I wish you joy each day. Having you as a cyber friend is my pleasure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Dean, glad to see your post and the update. Happy you are enjoying those birds! Take care, good buddy. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calintay Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Dean you are a wonderfully strong soul and great inspiration to all. Take care and many prayers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Dean,I'm glad Gay snitched on you and we got to hear from you first hand Ha ha. Connie and I very much enjoy watching the birds we have here too.This spring we are being visited by a pair of orioles that are beautiful to see and are seldom ever seen in this area.Also a pair of very pretty yellow (look like wild canarys only bigger-??) I pray your home hospice keeps you pain free and provide you the ability of much more enjoyment of the things that bring you pleasure.You have given all of us so much inspiration and wisdom for so long. For that I thank you very much from the bottom of my heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Dean...I hope Bobble Head Bird keeps singing for you, for a long, long time. It's so good to hear your "voice". I'm sorry that you're finding some things to be getting more difficult for you....but even so, your spirit and joy in living each moment shines thru! As usual! That purple finch ain't got nothin' on you, Dean Carl!! Good thoughts coming your way....always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoey Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 God bless you Dean and thank you for showing me the beauty of life around me. I pray for comfort for you and Gay and more beauty and joy for you to witness each day. Zoey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail p-m Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Dean It was good to see a post from you. You continue in my prayers. Gail p-m Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Dean So glad to see your post. I too, love to see the birds. Here in the midwest we have Robins, Cardinals, Wrens, Sparrows, Blue Jays, and my favorite-Humming Birds. My feeders are on the back porch. They just hang there in mid-air and drink. Wish you were out there on your scooter enjoying them. Love Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 It was good to hear from you Dean. Go with God. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Good to hear from you, Dean. I am glad you are adding to your support group. Sadness is a part of this journey--the whole journey. How else could we distinguish joy? I think of you both so often. love and fortitude elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall54 Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Dean, I have always read you're posts as they have always inspired me as you're frankness has today. You have given to so many with you're widom and words. Thank you always for sharing them. I wish I could somehow take you're sadness away but as someone said before me we have to feel the sadness to know the joy. You my friend have been a joy and a sort of mentor to me and I am praying for you every day! God be with you. God Bless you, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Dean, As usual, you amaze me. Here you are having trouble of the worst kind and still you see the beauty of the world. I love you for helping me see it as well. I was glad to hear that you are not in pain. This depression is normal but I am glad you have an appointment with the hospice couselor. However, when I think about it, I bet you will teach them more than they will teach you. You inspire all of us Dean. For that we are all very greatful. It is a pleasure to say that I have a cyber friend like you. Take care of yourself. I wish you peace and comfort and keep you in my prayers daily. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doughnut Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 I can't put my finger on exactly what it is but attitude and the way you write are certainly part of it. Whatever it is you have this almost unparalleled ability to lift the spirits. Prior to me joining this board I read every one of your posts just because they made me feel so good. Thanks for checking in. Dee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eileen Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Dean Thank you for the update and your reminder to us all to take the time to enjoy life's treasures. I feed birds too (much to my neighbor's chagrin) and love to hear them singing their songs of joy. best wishes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kel M Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 I was glad to read your post and to know that your pain is well-managed. Enjoy the birds sing - there's nothing like sitting back, closing your eyes and listening to their music. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Kel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K and Kids Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 As always, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you know how much your posts calm and delight (the description of your bobble head bird paints such a beautiful picture)a persons soul. Thank you and God Bless. My words do not come easily like yours do ... I appologize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lindseysmom Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Dean, Glad to read your post. Your description of the Bobbie Head Bird is just beautiful. I could close my eyes and just picture that bird singing it's little heart out. Best Wishes, Dee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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