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Ok, I think Im ready...


jamie

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Hello to all. Im not sure how many of you guys remember me, I havent been on the board in a long time.

Im writing to all of you because...well... I guess I just dont know what else to do. My dad passed away last Wednesday. He had been cancer free since July of last year, and died suddenly now of a heart attack. I cant figure out why or how, and am having trouble sorting it all out in my head. I know he didnt die from cancer, but I remember how more at ease I felt after talking to all of you when he was diagnosed, and am hoping that maybe this will help.

My dad was doing great. Feeling good, back to work, went to Chicago Bear training camp for a big camping trip only 3 weeks ago. While there he thought he had an asthma attack of some kind. He had a dr. appointment coming up, so thought he'd mention it there. He never made it. They said he had blockage in a major artery and that he was having heart attacks. Took him for a test with no time to spare, and he died for 20 minutes. They did bring him back, but it looked really bad. I knew. I knew right there that they werent going to be able to help him. We gave the ok to try the stint, but they were back out of the room in 15 minutes saying he died again. So thats it...my dad is gone. What will I do without him?

We buried him in his Chicago Bear #99 Dan Hampton jersey. My son also wore his jersey to the wake. We played the bears fight song at the funeral, and also the "Super Bowl Shuffel" (Those close to Chicago, may know it- a really bad rap song the 85" bears made". The funeral director also blew a whistle at the beggining of the funeral and yelled out "PLAY BALL". His wake and funeral was one of a kind just like my Dad.

I dont know what else to say.

Jamie

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Oh Jamie :( I think of you often. I had been glad not to hear from you, thinking you were enjoying those beautiful children.

My mom sends you her love, I told her, she immediately remembered you. I wish I had words of comfort.

I am going to send you a private e-mail you later, but just wanted to post and let you know that you are loved and missed here.

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Jamie, I am so sorry about your dad. Yes, I do remember you and have thought about you many times. I always loved the picture that you had posted! I know how hard this loss must be for you and I am saying a prayer for you and your family!

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Oh, I do feel for you. And how beautiful of a funeral. It sent chills up my spine to read about your father. You were very lucky to have that wonderful man in your life. Hang in there. It is so hard, but it will be o.k.

Your life will be different without your father, but he would want you to go on and LIVE. Live like you never lived before. That is what I have decided, after losing my husband 10 weeks ago. I am going to do all the things I "talked" about doing. Death is the reality that life is too short--for all of us. God bless you, and I am praying for you to find comfort and peace. Nancy C

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Hi Jamie,

Oh Sweetie, I am so very sorry to hear this news about your wonderful dad.

I want to share this with you though and I hope you don't mind my doing this. It may be of interest to you and others here at LCSC.

15 years ago, I lost a dear friend to a heart attack. She too was a lung cancer survivor. Well, she was 46 years young when she had her heart attack and passed away. She was rushed to the hospital.

Friends and family were called in before they took her into surgery. We were able to talk to here and give her love and hugs before surgery.

Long story short, she passed away on the table. The doctor came out and said. "I'm so sorry, but we were unable to save her, there was so much scar tissue to her heart there was nothing we could do."

He also shared with some of us that he had never seen this much scar tissue before, and we told him, she was a LC survivor and she had gone through Radiation treatments 5 years prior. His exact words were, "That explains all the scar tissue"!

When I went through my Radiation 10 years ago, I asked them how much damage this would do to my heart, being they were radiating the left side of my chest. They told me "We protect the heart and you shouldn't have any problems" I then told them about my friend, and they said, "We can't protect it 100% but, the heart is a very strong muscle and can withstand a lot" :?:shock:

This will NOT bring your dear dad back, but it might be a small part of the puzzle to what may or may not have happened. Just food for thought my dear!

I'm so sorry Jamie, I hope you find your always welcomed here with opened arms.

((((((((((((((JAMIE)))))))))))))))

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Dear Jamie,

I remember you well, and I am so sorry to hear about your dad.

I lost my husband last month, also not caused by his lung cancer. It was caused by a rare reaction to chemo. It is very hard to understand and it seems so unfair after they fight so hard to beat the cancer, but I have a certain amount of peace knowing that he did not have to suffer like so many others with lung cancer have had to suffer. I hope you can also grasp that blessing in your heart and trust that God knows what he is doing.

All my love and prayers to you and your family,

Peggy

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Hi Jamie,

My condolences to you and your family.

That was such a beautiful tribute to your dad. I am sure he had such a smile on his face when he saw the Jerseys and the song.

Peace be with you all at this difficult time.

Maryanne

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Thanks everyone for all of your replies. Im not sure what to say or do next, but I do have 3 kids to keep me VERY busy, and I hope that this horrible feeling in my stomach will go away soon. Im on the boards often, just kindof out of advice for everyone. I think alot of people on this board can say just what Im feeling, only it comes out better. I recieved an email from someone here who had good news and I felt 100% better! I love to hear when you guys are doing well. Thanks again to everyone, Ill be in touch

Jamie

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Jamie,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad.

I agree with Connie B., though - even if your dad was NED, the chemo and radiation he went through during his LC struggle could have had a big impact on the strength of his organs. My dad didn't die from the LC, per se, but from a stroke (at 64?!?!). The doctors told us that this was a side effect of the "successful" treatments (which my dad had completed months before).

After the experience of battling lung cancer with my dad and then losing him suddenly, I can imagine that you might have some of the same feelings of anger and injustice. How can we have gotten through all of that and still lost him?

Anyway, you are in my thoughts and I wish you as much peace as you can find during this awful time.

Kate

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Dear Jamie,

I also remember you well. I am so sorry you lost you're Dad and I know what that feels like as I lost mine when he was only 46 and also of a sudden heart attack. Time and faith is our onlyhealer and you will heal, it just takes time. Please accept my sincere sympathies.

God bless you,

jane

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Jamie, I remember you very well.

I also lost my father in a surprising way.

We almost lost him to a stroke but bless his heart he pulled through and was on a feeding tube at home in a hospital bed. He was fighting like heck to learn to talk again. He was doing OK learning to communicate but still having problems getting actual words to come out of his mouth. About a year after the stroke he was able to walk from room to room with the use of a walker. One day he came to my mother holding his neck acting like he wanted her to feel. She did and took him immediately to the hospital, he was diagnosed with lung cancer and gone before we knew what hit us.

I fully expected the side effects from that stroke to be what took him from us. Either way he is gone and is dearly missed, I do understand your shock and I'm so sorry you have to go through it.

Peace to you,

Kathy

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Hi Jamie. I wasn't here when you last were, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss and how wonderful I thought your celebration of what your dad loved sounded.

I do remember the song - William "Refrigerator" Perry, front and center, right?

Thanks again for such a beautiful, bittersweet post. You don't have to "know what to say" here.

xoxo

amie

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