Patkid Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Hello, all, Firstly, you are all in our thoughts and prayers during this holiday season. I want to try to give you an update.............I won't drag you through the ugly details. Brian will be getting no more tx. Hospice will be contacted next week. He tried so hard and withstood more than any human being should have to. His bone marrow and blood are so depleted that even transfusions offer only very brief relief. He has been w/out a chemo break since Feb. He has been in the hospital and is home now. He has tons of pain meds prescribed and will enjoy the rest of his days tx free. His potassium and magnesium levels reached the critical mark and began to affect his heart. Onc says that further chemo will kill him very quickly. It is hard to let go of the tx routine. It has sustained us for 10 months and has become a lot of who we are. Now we are going to just be us. Brian's concern is telling the kids............we will wait till after Christmas. We have to negotiate w/ hospice because doc insists that Bri will need lab work and transfusions for the next couple weeks at least. But no more scans, chemo or the like. I don't care if hospice ever comes in............at least till I can no longer care for Brian. I am not doing okay Bri is his usual optimistic self. He asked the doctor about how long he may have left. Doc said, Brian you have outlived all expectations......Just keep on doing that. Then they hugged. Brian said he plans to continue to exceed expectations...... Since we are home, tho, he is very quiet and staying off to himself. I am sure he needs some alone time. I hope he doesn't need too long, cuz I need HIM. Anyway............I am just so sad and I feel at 'loose ends'.............. Thanks for listening. Brian and I are counting on Bill to watch over us. He promised and we trust him to keep his promise. More when I can. P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 hugs and more hugs and more hugs gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nancy B Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Oh Pat, hugs and prayers to you and Brian. Of course you're not ok. Please lean on us and also know that God has great big arms wrapped around both of you. I pray for strength and comfort for both of you. I don't know if this will be any help to you, but my Mom is 81 and 10 or so years ago she said to me "you know, when it is my time, I will miss you very much, but LOOK WHERE I'M GOING." That is a thought that will sustain me, I think. You and Brian seem so close and I just can't imagine what you are going through, just know that I care and I'm praying. Love and prayers, Nancy B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Pat and Brian, I am not even going to pretend to know what to say. I love you both, your strength and resolve. I have gotten over my own hurdles with your inspiration. Alan and I are praying for you. our love and hugs are wrapping around you both Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilliBr1 Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Pat and Brian I am so sorry, my thoughts and prayers are with both of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 ((((Pat and Brian)))) ((((Pat and Brian)))) ((((Pat and Brian)))) Prayers, love, hope, comfort, peace. Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyb Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Pat and Brian, I can only pray that God is merciful, that He gives you comfort, strength, grace, dignity, and understanding in the days and time to come. You have my prayers now and always. I will always be here when you need me God has said. Trust in Him. All my love and warm hugs. Shirleyb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Pat & Brian, I pray Our Lord wraps His gentle arms around you both during your time of need.. Prayers, love & lots of hugs to you both... Donna K. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBeth Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Pat, Though I've been away from the board, I was drawn here a few moments ago and now I know why. Bill is with you, trust me, he is with you both and he will get Brian thru this and we will get each other thru it. I love you guys and I'm here for you. All my love, prayers and support are yours! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Of course you're not ok... and who would be. You've both been through hell. I wish you both a peaceful holiday with the family, but most of all I wish for Brian to keep exceeding everyone's expectations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Oh my gosh Like Ry said, of course youare not ok. You would not be human if you were. I have no words, I wish I had a magic wand to make all of this go away. Sending much love and h ugs your way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jorja Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Pat and Brian, My heart aches for you guys. I think you both are so wonderful! Maybe this treatment break will be good for Brian. Many prayers and hugs to the both of you!!!! love, jorja Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LynneH Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Oh Pat, there are no words. Just know that I am here any time, any hour of the day. Please give Brian my love and then sit down with the rest of my love wrapped around you. I hope the Osberg home is filled with tremendous love and much peace during this holiday time. With love and indescribable sadness, Lynne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shar Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 There's not much I can say, except I really do hope you guys enjoy the Christmas break. You are both really strong and brave, inspiring stuff. Thinking of you both, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KC Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Pat and Brian, I am so sad reading this. You are both so strong and brave. I hope and pray and I know that Brian will continue to exceed all expectations. I hope you make some wonderful memories together this holiday season and all the days ahead. Much love. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Pat and Brian,I know this is a tough time.Now more than ever both of you need to make the most of each day and all the time together you possibly can. Having walked out of the drs. office several times now with my wife crying so hard she shook,and my mind telling me Oh Crap I'm almost done.I do know what a rotten(to say the least)feeling this is. EXPECTATIONS CAN BE AND ARE EXCEEDED.there are many of us here on this board that are exceeding them every day,just as you and Brian are.I'm not trying to instill false hope or say we won't be had by this disease,but I am hoping and praying that Brians pain can be managed.And both of you I know have the strength and faith to keep on exceeding expectations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 oh my darlings, There isn't anything that I can say to comfort you. I feel so incompetent at this. I am sorry that you are nearing the end. Lean on all here, Pat and Brian. We are here for you. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jyoung20 Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Pat and Brian, My heart is hurting so for you two. God broke the mold when he made you and Brian. GOD BLESS!!! Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Pat and Brian, Like Ry said before me, of course you are not ok. This is hard news to take. There are no words from me that will make things better except to know that I am praying for you both. I trust Him to take care of you in His own way. At least this decision to stop chemo may give Brian some quality time to enjoy life a little more. Enjoy each other. May God's love be with you. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenl Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Pat and Brian, Much love to you both..... Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Pat & Brian, All those one day at a times were practice for now. May the two of you find peace and some tiny bit of serenity in living life one day at a time in the days ahead. Thinking of you both, as always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimW Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Jim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppie Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 What can be said that others here haven't a;ready said very well? When words fail, hugs say more. I wish I were near you so I could do something.....anything. Much love and I will continue to look for your postings. Eppie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NancyT Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Dear Pat and Brian, I think of you both often, I wish there was a way to help. Sending many prayers NancyT Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 Dearest Pat, I was afraid to read this post and I had a feeling something like this was happening since you have not updated us. I just wish you would have let us to continue to help you. This burden is too heavy to carry, but you do because that is what loving spouces do. Words just are not coming for me. I just know that the love you two share is so special and my heart breaks as Brian's beautiful soul will be slipping away for his diseased body. Yes, we can take comfort to know he will be at peace, but at the same time I wish there was more time. But G-d seems to have other plans for your Brian. I will continue to pray for a miracle but meanwhile, I pray for comfort for him. That is what is so important right now, for Brian to be pain free. I really am at a loss for words as my heart is breaking for you both. Take comfort to know that he will be in a better place and I strongly feel that Beth's, Bill will be there to help Brian with his transition like he promised. I am so sorry Pat. I pray for you too, honey. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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