heyjudefl1 Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 My husband, Ray Nicholas just could not fight this hideous disease anymore. He died Monday, July 3 with his family at his side. The last year sucked every drop of life out of us. I wanted so much to help him but I couldn't. His suffering the last few days was too much to bear but I still wanted him to live. I did not want him to leave me. I feel so alone and I cannot face life without him. It is not fair that there really is no hope or help with lung cancer. He was a wonderful husband, father and friend and will be missed by many. He did not deserve what he was given. I have had a great deal of anger and frustration in the last year but I did find comfort on this site. I did not post very much but I did read many of the messages and even found a little hope now and then. It is too late for Ray but I hope that soon there will be help for the many that are facing the lung cancer battle. My thoughts are with you all. Judy Nicholas Quote
MsC1210 Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Judy, I am so very sorry about your husband. There are no words that can begin to ease the pain you have, but please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.. My deepest sympathies and condolences to you and yours, Chris Quote
annjael Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 ((((((Judy)))))) I am so sorry about your Ray. Peace to him, and to you. My sincere sympathy Annjael Quote
ErinC1973 Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Judy: I am so very, very sorry. The words you wrote are everything I'm sure the majority of us feel who have lost a loved one. LC does suck you dry--it sucks everyone involved dry. I know I always felt, even though my mom may have had a good day, there was a neon sign in front of me every moment, saying, "Mom has cancer! Don't you forget it!" And I saw what my dad went through with this horrible disease; to know my mom would be suffering from it also was too much to bear. I honestly didn't post very much until after my mom passed away. I find great solace in the people who make up this site. Yes, it's too late for Ray, and too late for my mom, but I find myself cheering on the wonderful people who are still fighting this disease, and crying on many virtual shoulders of those who can commisurate, because only they know exactly how it feels. If you find you are able, please come back here and vent your emotions. Lord knows there will be many; I am just beginning to feel the heaviest effects of my mom's death now. It is by far the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my life. Prayers and best wishes, Quote
lilyjohn Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 My heart is crying for you. You are so right about this monster that has stripped our lives of hope and dreams. It takes everything from you and demands more until there is nothing left to give. Like Alzhiemer's Lung Cancer is a disease that robs everyone concerned of life long before it takes a life. You are right. It is too late for all of us but there will be a cure someday. I pray for that day and for everyone who is still doing battle with the monster. As for your loss, it will take a long time for the pain to ease a little but eventually it will. YOu will find that you take one step forward only to be thrown back two steps. After all a large part of your life has gone. That is not something that you get over. You will get through it but it will not be easy. Just remember there are many of us here who have been where you are now. Cry on our shoulders when you need to. Quote
Ann Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 (((((((Judy))))))))) I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how hard it was for you to watch someone you love suffer so very much. Please remember we are here for you and are remembering you in our prayers. Quote
EastCoastLadi Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Judy, I am so very very sorry about the passing of your husband. Please take some solace in knowing that he truly is at peace and cancer is no longer a part of him. Also know that this is a special place to come to, there are no judgments or criticisms, but pure love and support. Grace Quote
Maryanne Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Hi Judy, My deepest condolences for the passing of your husband. I pray for you to gain the strength you need to carry on without his presence. Please know that he is looking out for you and is worried about you. Take time to grieve and time will heal. I am so sorry, we are always there to help you if you need support or prayers. Maryanne Quote
Welthy Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Judy, My heart goes out to you. I can't stand this disease. I'm so very sorry. May God grant you some peace. Welthy Quote
michelepal Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Judy, I'm sooooo sorry for your loss! Love, Michele Quote
Carleen Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Judy, I am so sorry for you and the loss of your love. I feel every word you wrote. I feel the exact same way. My true love left me Thursday June 29th. I did not want him to go, he did not want to go. He was in pain, but still I begged God to leave him with me. For the last couple of hours as he fitfully slept he kept repeating uh uh with every breath; like he was saying no. His family and I thought an angel was there to take him to heaven and he was saying no, I don't want to go. I am alone, and life has lost all meaning and looking forward I see only pain and emptiness. It is too much to bear. Words are empty and hollow, and I know you are in pain and I just wanted you to know that I understand it too. You are not alone, we cry together. Quote
shineladysue Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Judy, I am so very sorry about the loss of your husband. You have my prayers for strength for in in the days ahead. Sue Quote
Don Wood Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Judy, my heartfelt sympathies. A great loss. Don Quote
eppie Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 Oh Judi, I know that it hurts so much. My eyes are all full of this knowing just reading your post. Take care of your self and please know that we are here and we care. Some of us here have been where you are. It's just one foot in front of the other...but we do it because so many love us and need us to fight on. Much love and healing, Eppie Quote
cindy0519 Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 My deepest sympathies on your great loss. As many others have said far more eloquently than I -- you are not alone. Your pain, anger and frustration are shared by many here. To have loved so greatly and lost so very much is something which pierces a huge hole in your very soul! Be kind to yourself, lean on others for strength and support and allow yourself to grieve this great loss. May God hold you close and give you comfort in the days/weeks to come and may help you to find peace! Cindy Quote
K and Kids Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 I am so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers. Quote
paddy Posted July 5, 2006 Posted July 5, 2006 So very sorry Judy, I wish I could take away the pain but it seems no-one can do that.We just have to push on. Thoughts and Prayers go out for your comfort. Paddy Quote
tnmynatt Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 Judy, So sorry for your loss. Your words were so similar to my feelings and thoughts, also. Prayers for you and your family to have peace, strength and comfort during this difficult time. Quote
RandyW Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 I know how you are feeling this very moment. I have been down that road myself after losing my wife of 9 years. Let it all out whenever you want wherever you want. Do not be ashamed of grieving openly when you want. Come here too vent or tell us anything or just post anything you want. It will help some. Getting it out hurts and helps trust me on that one. I have written some powerful posts myself after losing My Deb and it helped me feel a little better each time I did it. You are in my prayers and offer my most sincere condolences at this time. Remember, if you want to talk to your husband he is right above you smiling down on you and your family and watching over and protecting you. Quote
mitzu Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 Take comfort in the thought that your husband is not in pain anymore. Nothing will erase your wonderful memories. I'm so sorry for your loss. Quote
Patkid Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 Dear, I understand. You wrote what is in my heart. Brian died Jan 1 and the wound is fresh. I have you firmly in prayer and I want you to know how very much I care. Love P Quote
stand4hope Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 You're not alone, Judy. We all feel your pain and grief. Our hearts break every time we see one of these posts. Prayers for God's comfort and love to penetrate your broken heart. Love, Peggy Quote
jendew Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain. Quote
jduenges Posted July 7, 2006 Posted July 7, 2006 Dear Judy, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you. Jackie Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.