Patkid Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Brian stopped tx on Dec. 22, 2005. He died Jan 1, 2006. Why didn't we get that nice relaxing good bye time between puking from tx and death? God, I miss him. P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 I'm still angry about not getting our goodbye time too, Pat... It's not fair. I'm so sorry. I just hurt for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 (((Pat))), This time last year, so many of us were going through nearly the same thing. Mike was in the hospital. I remember reading and hanging on to every word that you would post. I kept praying for Brian's miracle and I was there with you sis, I was. It was so hard. Love and Prayers, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 The chemo worked and we were to have at least several more months together, without chemo, and where she could sew some more and just relax. But her heart gave out. What is that time compared to the 47 years plus we had together? She went peacefully, and I am grateful for that. Sorry you feel cheated. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted December 22, 2006 Author Share Posted December 22, 2006 Don, Thank you for the reminder of what is important. I am glad Brian's suffering was not prolonged so I could have a more extensive good bye. I will just be grateful for the time we did have and for how wonderful it was. I try, but sometimes I am just way too selfish. Love P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adela Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Pat, I also felt frazzled during Ed's final weeks. We flew form LA to Seattle and for a week he had constant visitors. He declined rapidly. I too wanted it relaxing but I knew the people that loved him needed to be with him. He would want me to just sit I was busy making sure the house was kept up for the visitors. That is one thing I do regret and it has been hard to let it go. I wanted a storybook goodbye did I get all of the loveyou's I needed no. My Ed did not want to die, it was hard for him to acknowledge it. What I did get was the satisfaction that my husband died in the house he loved and the area he loved surrounded by those that loved him so. Is there such a thing as a good death I don't know. I just know you did everything possible to make sure your Brian was comfortable and loved. Adela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Selfish? Who wouldn't want to hold onto such a prize as Brian as long as she could? Those of us who only knew him through your posts couldn't let go easily--how could you be expected to? Give yourself a break. Grieve as you need to. We love you! Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 Pat your's is not selfishness but Love for a man who meant so much to you.I wish i would have said and done some thing's different but GOD had other plan's. One lesson this all taught me is i now know how much you gal's must have loved us every time i now have to do what she alway's did. Just remember PAT you were and are still blessed.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted December 22, 2006 Share Posted December 22, 2006 (((Pat))), I believe that laast year we were PRAYING with you and for you. And you know what? We still are. Love, Fred and Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Pat, Another milestone...prayers for you on these rough days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 ((((((((((((((((((((((PRAYERS))))))))))))))))))))))) Carol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma's kid Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Hugs, dear Pat Libby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrmust Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 I felt cheated also........Joe was eating a cheeseburger and talking on the phone with me and 6 hours later, on a ventilator. I barely made it to his bed side before he died. But I remember saying to myself, "how am I going to handle this when he gets really bad......I don't think I can do it". Well......I never got to that stage and thank god neither did Joe. It was quick and I hope, peaceful. I go back and forth all the time.....yes it would be great to have them around for x amount more days but is it worth it to watch them suffer and be miserable? I will be thinking about you and all of the others on this site during this holiday........it's comforting to know that we are all in this together, even if just in thought. Take care, Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 My dear Pat, No words, just (((hugs))) and prayers for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jana_W Posted December 23, 2006 Share Posted December 23, 2006 Pat Hugs to you today. I know I sometimes think about the fact I never said goodbye to my Mum. We just always kept trying to be so damned positive that she could beat this thing that there was just never a time to say goodbye. And then when it was quite obvious we probably weren't going to beat it, there was no time to have any of those conversations. Some times I wish we had, and other times I am glad that up until she took her last breath we always tried to believe that a miracle could happen. I try to think that we did have our miracle, it was just that the miracle was not for her cancer to be cured, but in the fact that I had her as my Mum for 33 years. The miracle for us was not that she would be with us forever, but that she would share her life with us for as long as she could. Some times it makes me feel better, and then other times I think it's all bollocks!!!! Thinking of you Jana xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted December 24, 2006 Share Posted December 24, 2006 ((((((((((((Pat))))))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisag Posted December 27, 2006 Share Posted December 27, 2006 Hi Pat- Couldn't help but notice the Bears shirt Brian is wearing in your photo. My father passed away in October, and was a big Bears fan. Everytime they play I think how dads up there running with Walter and maybe, just maybe, has contributed to the winning season. I know it's petty and stupid, but their winning season is helping me thru. I guess know I'll think your husbands up there helping them too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 This was a tough year Pat. For your losing your Brian and so many of our members who have passed and so many love ones who are gone. My heart grives for you and everyone who this horrible monster took from us. I pray I do not know that feeling. Your are held close in my heart. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBeth Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Dear Pat, I love you and I am praying for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Pat... I know the day of another really hard "1st" is coming, and I want you to know I'll have you close at heart that day, and do now. And I also want you to know that I will always, always remember Brian--even though I never had the pleasure of meeting him. Love you, Val Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jang Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 Pat, I've been thinking about you this week. I know this is a hard time for you....Hang in there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kreed70 Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 (((Pat))) This will be very rough. Spend it with those who love Brian too. Celebrate his life with gusto! Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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