Jump to content

Last year


Recommended Posts

The chemo worked and we were to have at least several more months together, without chemo, and where she could sew some more and just relax. But her heart gave out. What is that time compared to the 47 years plus we had together? She went peacefully, and I am grateful for that. Sorry you feel cheated. Don

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Thank you for the reminder of what is important.

I am glad Brian's suffering was not prolonged so I could have a more extensive good bye.

I will just be grateful for the time we did have and for how wonderful it was. I try, but sometimes I am just way too selfish.



Link to comment
Share on other sites


I also felt frazzled during Ed's final weeks. We flew form LA to Seattle and for a week he had constant visitors. He declined rapidly. I too wanted it relaxing but I knew the people that loved him needed to be with him. He would want me to just sit I was busy making sure the house was kept up for the visitors. That is one thing I do regret and it has been hard to let it go.

I wanted a storybook goodbye did I get all of the loveyou's I needed no. My Ed did not want to die, it was hard for him to acknowledge it. What I did get was the satisfaction that my husband died in the house he loved and the area he loved surrounded by those that loved him so.

Is there such a thing as a good death I don't know.

I just know you did everything possible to make sure your Brian was comfortable and loved.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pat your's is not selfishness but Love for a man who meant so much to you.I wish i would have said and done some thing's different but GOD had other plan's. One lesson this all taught me is i now know how much you gal's must have loved us every time i now have to do what she alway's did. Just remember PAT you were and are still blessed....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I felt cheated also........Joe was eating a cheeseburger and talking on the phone with me and 6 hours later, on a ventilator. I barely made it to his bed side before he died. But I remember saying to myself, "how am I going to handle this when he gets really bad......I don't think I can do it". Well......I never got to that stage and thank god neither did Joe. It was quick and I hope, peaceful. I go back and forth all the time.....yes it would be great to have them around for x amount more days but is it worth it to watch them suffer and be miserable?

I will be thinking about you and all of the others on this site during this holiday........it's comforting to know that we are all in this together, even if just in thought.

Take care, Jill

Link to comment
Share on other sites


Hugs to you today. I know I sometimes think about the fact I never said goodbye to my Mum. We just always kept trying to be so damned positive that she could beat this thing that there was just never a time to say goodbye. And then when it was quite obvious we probably weren't going to beat it, there was no time to have any of those conversations. Some times I wish we had, and other times I am glad that up until she took her last breath we always tried to believe that a miracle could happen. I try to think that we did have our miracle, it was just that the miracle was not for her cancer to be cured, but in the fact that I had her as my Mum for 33 years. The miracle for us was not that she would be with us forever, but that she would share her life with us for as long as she could. Some times it makes me feel better, and then other times I think it's all bollocks!!!!

Thinking of you



Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Pat- Couldn't help but notice the Bears shirt Brian is wearing in your photo. My father passed away in October, and was a big Bears fan. Everytime they play I think how dads up there running with Walter and maybe, just maybe, has contributed to the winning season. I know it's petty and stupid, but their winning season is helping me thru. I guess know I'll think your husbands up there helping them too!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This was a tough year Pat. For your losing your Brian and so many of our members who have passed and so many love ones who are gone.

My heart grives for you and everyone who this horrible monster took from us.

I pray I do not know that feeling.

Your are held close in my heart.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.