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Duke of Earl - Chapter 55 - The Dukes Wife Is Bummed


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Okay, I admit it, I am having a pity party. I am usually upbeat but I am feeling real low right now. I know me and I will bounce back but it is so great to have my friends here to vent my feelings.

Our onc. told Earl on Monday that the liver tumors were stable, no growth, no shrinkage. Since he as SO fatigued and weak from the chemo, he switched him to Iressa.

Well, today I got the letter from our primary. We have to go to a different to get CT scans and takes copies to Fox Chase. So both our primary and our onc get the report from Chestnut Hill Hospital. Well here is our primary's letter:

'They saw continued surgical changes, but they did not see any changes in the lung. They saw no new nodules or enlarge lymphnodes or any other spots there. They still saw the densities in the liver. They did not note any real change. They saw a small area in the area of the left adrenal gland which might be new.'

Ok - where did this adrenal gland thing come from and why didn't our onc mention it? Earl never asks the onc questions. He never asks me questions. He knows that we are just hoping for time, lots of time. Sometimes I think it is better to just be fat, dumb and happy.

Thanks for your ears, I needed them right now.



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Oh Genny, maybe it is just some kind of scar tissue from something else. It doesn't for sure say it is there.

His other scans sound good. Hope he starts to build up some strenght now that he is on Iressa. I started Buddy on Iressa last night. Had to go to a local pharmacy because the mail in place is still having prob with the order.

I really do know where you are coming from. I am there too. The roller coaster is to active....

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Do not be so bummed out.

My surgeon mentioned to me a spot on my liver that was probably a cyst of some kind, and a spot on my hip that he had his eye on, that had been there, and both were pretty much unchanged.

I think when I told the oncologist this he started a moment, but I heard what the surgeon told me, which was that I had a clean bill as far as he was concerned.

If I was a worrying sort, I'd be making myself crazy over the fact I have NEVER had a pet scan, all this has been diagnosed and followed with MRIs , CTs and chest xrays.

If I want to worry, I don't really need a good excuse do I???

Take a hot bubble bath and a nap, that always works for me.

And, as my grandma said, Don't borrow trouble. Trouble will come find you. Take it easy, Ginny. Hang in there.

You're in our prayers,


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Okay, Ginny....

Looks like it's time for a mini-breakdown. Let's just dip into a SMALL pity party, just enough so you snap back to the tough as nails person you are on the inside...

Here's your mission, should you choose to accept it...

Start gathering candles...lots of 'em...

Begin a nice warm tub with bubbles...

Find some soothing music and put the CD player in the bathroom...

Clean sheets on the bed...

Silkie nightie...

Warm, soft robe...

Take your matches, a glass of wine and maybe a book and head to the bathroom...light the candles, set the volume of the music..

Climb in...

Settle back and let the water take over....nice, warm water...soothing music...take those cleansing breaths you learned in child birth classes...now, Ginny, go ahead and cry. Relax and just let it come out...you'll feel so much better after you relieve that pressure...

...and when you're finished, slowly get out of the tub (don't want to fall), dry off and put on the silkie nightie and the favorite old robe and tuck yourself and the Duke in for the evening and just snuggle with your bestest guy!

Love ya, Ginny, and I'm giving you my permission to cry.


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Hey, that all sounds great! I sure would love to try that but I would never at my age be able to get out of the bathtub. :lol::lol:

Seriously, when we were in Montana a few years back, all they had in the park in our room was a bathtub. I took a picture of Buddy in it and it is hanging on our refrig. We both had to help each other out. It sure wasn't easy so I know now, a few years have past, no Buddy to help me out so I would be in there forever.

Go for it Ginny but make sure someone is there to help. Take your cell phone with you and call 911.

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Oh Ginny,

As much as I hate to you or hear your down, it's also understandable to why you are down. Your entitled to have a few bad days my friend. When I have a pitty party, I never put my party hat on for that, but if you want to get out of that party and into a little happier party, put a hat close by.

((((((((((((((((((((((((GINNY & THE DUKE))))))))))))))))))))

Wish I could make things better for you.

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Hello There Ginny,

I really think you do deserve a pitty party, we all have them you know!. I think Snowflake's idea was wonderful, just hope you have one of those long baths instead of the straight sided types-most uncomfortable!

I relieve the stress by going for long walks while David is still asleep in the morning. When I feel like howling I put on my dark glasses, stuff lots of tissues in my pocket and off I go. When I get home ,I ice my eyes to get the red away and by the time Dave gets up I am ready to fight the fight again.

Yes, we too found out about things from records rather than being told by the oncologist. I had not heard about the "suspicious lesions" in and near the spine before the last visit I am told they are not going to do anything about those but are just "watching" them.

Dave is another one who doesn't ask questions. I have to do that and also insist on seeing the records etc. I don't think he even likes to think about his condition if he can help it.

I will say a prayer for you and Earl tonight and add an extra one especially for you,



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Just a line to let you know I totally emapthize with you. It is ALL enough to drive a person up the wall!!!! Glad you feel comfortable enough to let it hang out with us. A good vent, a good cry, a little ranting...and you're ready to continue the vigilant fight for the Duke. We love you guys, too! Hang in there!!!

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I didn't tell you this story when I posted before, I didn't know if I should. Anyway I decided it might give you a laugh, so here goes,

I thought I would take one of those "relaxing" baths the other evening, something I hadn't done for a while, (I usually take quick showers.) As I ran the water, I noticed a trail of ants coming from the windowsill down to the faucet. I made up my mind to ignore them , although they spoiled the ambiance, and set up my candle on the lu seat next to the bath, (we have a small bathroom.) I then remembered I had left the matches in the kitchen, so, back I went to get them. Candle lit, and all set at last, I climbed into the now luke- warm water and prepared to relax. The next thing , my glasses steamed up, and in attempting to

to dry them I dropped the magazine into the water. Leaning forward to fish out the mag., I let the towel fall into the tub, which caused a wave that washed ants into the water.Totally frustrated by now, and not wanting to share my bath-water with creepy crawlies I sprang out , (a slow "spring", as Norme says, it's not easy when you are a senior,) and blew out the candle with a short, sharp disgusted puff.....which showered me and my surroundings with hot, orange wax. Now you know why I take long walks to relax :lol:


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Well Ginny, I see you have a ghost writer (Snowflake) helping on the book of the Duke. I believe we are now heading to romance in Chapter 56. Frankly it's about time, if you're not going to go postal on someone and have action at least include some romance. :wink:

Several people have had the adrenal gland scare (including us) and it was nothing. So take heart, get busy on the next chapter. We're all here with you.

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Dear 'Sharing It All With You' Friends,

Thank you so much for your replies, you all know how to make a girl (don't I wish), I mean woman, feel good.

I think we have the making of a really funny book here to raise funds for LC. Becky definitely has the writing skills and humor and Norme and Paddy have a lot of real stories.

Yes, we have a Jacuzzi for two. Bad news is the Duke hates baths, he a shower only type of guy. About once or twice a month I take a long bath with a good book and a diet coke. I know I am just a wild and crazy women. Lighting all those candles seems like too much work. With the glass of wine I would be afraid of drowning.

We went out for dinner last night (we have gone out every Friday night forever, we call it our date night). When we first got there Earl felt great. But he deteriorated very quickly, so we left very soon. He was having the big "D" and nausea side effects from the Iressa.

We are very lucky with a strong loving support system of family and friends, but somehow you guys are more important because we are all there together. Thanks for the friendship.



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Hi Ginny,

I had my first “pity party” last night and woke up this morning feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. To deal with this beast we can’t keep our feelings bottled up and you certainly have the right and need to let those feelings out. Keep the faith and know that God is with you on the difficult journey you are taking.

God Bless,


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Ginny, first let me say that I, too, sometimes think it would be nice to be 'blissfully unaware', but then someone has to be on top of things, sorry that you have to be that one. but I bet because you are the one on top of things, that is why The Duke CAN sit back and relax...he knows that his beloved Ginny is there to be sure he is being taken care of-and that is good.

Now, with regard to the jacuzzi, WOW am I jealous...you see my husband gutted our full bath in, lets see, some math skills are involved here-September 2002 - so that it could be '"done in time for Thanksgiving"-he is doing the work himself, THEN in July 2003 he re-sided our house, built a semi-inground pool with deck (yes, he dug the hole and installed the pool himself), new windows, the works...and the bathroom is now ALMOST DONE. We have been using the 1/2 bath (shower stall) since it was all started (yes, my 5 and 3 year olds have been showering for over a year!)

I am so glad that you and Earl can get out every friday, sorry you had to cut the evening short-but still, it is good. I hope that you find out more info. and that the Iressa "does its Magic!". In the meantime, everyone needs a party now and again...sometimes its a fun party, and sometimes its a pity party. To get through it you have to let it all out! Please take care, and we're with you. Deb

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You are allowed pity party, but do not close the door.

Last year in May, I was having a pity party and the bathroom door

was closed, so I took my time, relaxing, reading, but when I got out,

no husband around, looked everywhere and found a note,

''Gone for a walk, be back later'' no TIME marked..............

so I waited one hour, could not wait anymore, called 911 and

explained the situation.....2 big policemen showed up and while

I was giving them my husband description.......he just walked in,

he had gone to buy me a gift.......and it took longer than he thought.

One pity party was enough for me, after showers all the time.

I still blush when I think of it, but he never when to a walk alone

after, I was always with him.

So do it all the suggestions are TOP, but do not close the door.

Enjoy and relax, and you will feel rejuvenated.



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Hey Ginny, remember to watch for the key words, (might be new). It seems like every time I go, something new shows up. The Docs don't always mention it, but I read the report and ask about anything I don't understand. I know it's hard but hang in there.

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