shelliemacs Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Hi all. well my journey in Hell continues. Dad is not well at all. He has not eaten now since Saturday night and I am not sure what exactly is wrong. the oncologist wants him in today at 2 pm (NY time) for what I don't know. I have a horrible feeling in my stomach though now from anxiety. After the hand accident on saturday morning it seems he has gone down hill rapidly. He is in allot of pain in his back and side around where the chest tube went in. Normally I would arrtibute that to the nerves being cut but it seems more than that now. He is very pale and tired and the pain is what I am scared of. He goes in for a PET scan on the 25th and I suppose will hear the results at the next appt with the onc. on 6/1. The last chemo he took was carboplatin/vp-16 and last week he told me he called the dr. and they told him that chemo still could be causing the pain. It just seems to be going on for a long time to me though. I guess I am terrified that the cancer is moving and spreading like wildfire and I am going to end up burrying another parent this summer like last summer. I hope the oncologist says something that helps with this panaroia. prayers please. Update Friday Morn: dad is severely dehydrated, has lost 13 pounds in 10 days, his potassium level is dropping and they think he had brain mets now. The are going to PET scan him Tuesday unless they can get him in before and go from there. Its happening again, I see him going the same way mom did. I recogonize the symptoms and I am trying to prepare myself but nothing is working. I can't stop crying and I am loosing my sanity. I just tears me apart inside that he is suffering and I CANT do anything about it. I feel like I am dying with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hebbie Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Oh Shelly, I am so sorry that you are enduring all of this. It is certainly PAST TIME for the big guy upstairs to cut you a break! I know that God only gives us what we can handle, but I think you have reached that point! I pray that the oncologist has some uplifting news and that you receive some much needed peace of mind. (((((HUGS)))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Shelly, Prayers you have. I suspect your Dad is a bit more upset with something he can see, especially that bleeds.... He does sound demoralized. That accident might have done what all the scans and reports couldn't do. Your dad might need more support now to keep him going forward... I will pray for your dad, and for you, as you don't need more grief on your plate. Hang in there. XOXXOXOX Prayers, always. MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Dear Shelly, Will absolutely say a prayer for your dad and just did for you too..(((SHELLY))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamie Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Shelly, Keep your head up. You need to stay strong for Dad. Hope all is ok after the onc. appt. Let us know Jamie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Sending prayers and all positive thoughts yours and Dad's way! Please keep us posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MO_Sugar Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 You and your Dad are in my prayers as always! Hope things turn around for him soon! You could use a break from wory! God Bless, MO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Shelly, Prayers going your way for father and daughter. Your father could be depressed after the accident to his hand (good hand) and now, he thinks that there won't be much for him to do for a while. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Shelly, You have had way more than your fair share. I am asking the Lord to please give you some peace for awhile. Take care of yourself. Ginny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IIIp0 Posted May 20, 2004 Share Posted May 20, 2004 Hello Shelly -- Deep breathes and gratitudes [lots of them!~] for the wonderful moments, the talks, the conversations, the laughter and sharing that we have: me and my husband who is also very ill with SCLC, and you with your dad. My prayers for you Shelly and for your dad that the pain will be lifted, even if just enough to see the light through that nasty dark and drearyness of pain..... And then even more to make him smile again~ [[[[[[[shelly]]]]]]]]] big Hugs to you - Beth =============== Husband diag. 12/3 w/extensive SCLC carbo/taxol, then neuropathy, then low blood counts/lower still hemoglobin switched to CPT-11, possible brain 'lesion' MRI scheduled for Monday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berisa Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Shelly, you are always in my thought as usual. I keep your dad in my prayers and I pray that he will get well very soon (fingers), and I pray that your dad has a good spirit of fighting. I just thought, your dad must be upset with your mom's passing and he may be just negatively handling his own disease. Anyway, keep him in good fighting spirit and tell him he has you and fight for you. Prayers sending now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Shelly, As of today, I now have had a total of four big family bombshells laid on me. After the new one today, my sister asked me if I knew anyone else that was going through as much as I am right now. I said, "Well, not personally, but all I have to do is log onto this website, and there's a whole bunch of friends that are going through a lot more than me." Shelly, you are one of them, along with Fay, and some others whose names I can't think of right now. It just seems like you and some of the others just keep getting hit and hit again. I like what Heather said in her post. I'm asking God tonight to please do something to stop this bombardment and intervene just like He did for Job. If this keeps up, I just bet you are going to earn yourself a seat at the dinner table with Job himself. If anyone reading this hasn't read the story of Job, it is an OUTSTANDING Bible story and will really hold your interst from beginning to end, especially in one of the easier-to-understand Bibles, i.e., Living Bible, etc. Shelly - - just knock the crap out of that puny little devil that is trying to pull you down!! SMACK HIM! KICK HIM! SLAP HIM! BELT HIM! and KNOCK HIM ON HIS A**! God loves you Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bean_si (Not Active) Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Shelly, So many things can account for his increased pain including anxiety or stress or depression. It might not be physical or it could be physical but stress or internalized anxiety is causing him to be more aware of the pain. I'll ask the Healing Buddha to watch over him. I'll ask an angel to stay close to him - close to both of you. You both need a guardian angel right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margaret Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Shelly, Add my prayers for strength, healing and comfort. Peace to you, Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Phyllis Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 I will also be pulling for you. I agree with the rest. You are too young to be dealing with all of this and definitely deserve a break. Take care of yourself through all of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest randa'sdaughter Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Shelly - I'm praying for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MayFrog Posted May 21, 2004 Share Posted May 21, 2004 Please know my thoughts are with you and your Dad....gather all the extra strength you need from us....Mary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 Shelly- I hate that you are going thru this again. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please let us know if you need to talk, pm me for the phone number if you need. Love Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SharKats Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 Shelly, My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine how difficult it is to watch someone you love go through such pain and suffering - be it mental, emotional or physical pain. I will certainly remember your Dad and YOU in my prayers - strength for you and healing for your Dad. God Bless! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted May 22, 2004 Share Posted May 22, 2004 Shelly, Hang on tight. You CAN do this. Tell you what - let's do it together. My dad is struggling for life right now, too. He had a bad evening and I told them to go ahead and start morphine tonight. I'll hold you up and you can hold me up. Ok? We got a deal? You be strong for me and I'll be strong for you. You, me and all nearly 1100 people on this website, can do anything if we just stick together and support each other. Look up and know that He loves you and BREATHE!!! Love, Peggy P.S. PM me anytime! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 Dear Shellie, So very sorry to hear that you are going through such a terrible time. Are you all on you own, physically I mean, (as you know you are not alone spiritually with all us folks on the board who keep you in our prayers and thoughts?!) I wish I knew there was someone, a close friend or relative who can help you through this, it is such an awful burden to bear on your own. Love Paddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyridge Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I will pray for your strength. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted May 24, 2004 Share Posted May 24, 2004 Nothing I can say will make this better for you. And that's all I want to do is make this better!! ((((((((SHELLY)))))))) I'm here for you if you need an ear or a friend. I know where your at and what your going through. I lost my mom and sister 8 months apart from one another. I'm PRAYING for you Shelly and for your dad. Much Love, Hugs, and Support, Connie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted May 25, 2004 Share Posted May 25, 2004 Dear Shelley, What a terrible time you are going through... I wish there was something I could do to "fix it" and make it all better for you. Please know you are in my prayers and thoughts and of course your dad too. Keep us posted with the latest scan results. I am praying for some hopeful news. Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest cbysea1 Posted June 4, 2004 Share Posted June 4, 2004 I can't even imagine your sorrow and anxiety.I am praying for both of you. You seem to be the strongest woman I have known for a long while. But don't forget to find a moment here and there for yourself.God bless and keep you strong. Cheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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