Wendy, it sounds to me like you have already moved in a positive direction with your life -- taking advantage of the moment, expressing to others their importance to you, not sweating the small stuff. The biker, Lance Armstrong's, mother told him "Make every challenge or setback an opportunity." I believe that. We don't really know why we get cancer, or any other calamity. But one thing is to use our experience and knowledge to help others walking the same path, as we do here on the website. Our purpose, I believe, is tied to our passions (things we love to do) and to the needs around us. This means we are called to do those things that give us joy and at the same time fulfill a need in the world. That is where I look for what I am supposed to be doing. That is how I believe. Don