Treebywater

I'm so very sorry, Starr.

I'm so sorry.

Oh Fay. This makes me SO ANGRY!!!! I become more and more disheartened with things I hear are going on in the medical field each day. I wish I could come help you fight the battle. And I also wish I could just smack them all silly.

The bedsheet idea will be a big help and the great thing that we found with hospice is that they will SHOW YOU how to do things. Take notes, and ask lots of questions. Above all know that YOU CAN DO THIS. It will hurt. It will be hard. It will be awful sometimes. But it will also be a blessing to you both. Your Mom is so lucky to have someone who loves her as much as you do. We're here to listen and to support you.

Jim, I say again, You're my hero. You're gonna beat down the lymph-node stuff. I just know it.

You handled it so beautifully, Kelly. What a gift you have given your Mom, and what a gift you are to your Mom.

I can't add to the wonderful advice you've received. I can relate to family tensions though. It's hard. Vent anytime. That's why we're here. Hang in there.

(((((Pat))))) I will not stop lifting you and Bri and this whole thing up to Abba.

I hate what this has taken from us, Berisa. It is so unfair. I get jealous too... Just know that I am hurting with you and for you and if I could, I'd fly to Hong Kong right now just to give you a hug and eat ice cream and talk about our parents that we loved so much. love, Val

You keep us posted and KNOW that we are holding you guys in prayer. ((((Mike and Sue)))))

I just wanted to welcome you and say we're here to support you! I'm going to send you a PM too.

What means Rue? Will I fail miserably at making this recipe if I don't know the meaning of Rue?

Thank you, God!!! Oh Beth, I am SOOO happy that the day was so magical for all of you. I'll be praying for more magic. love, Val

That is ringing a bell with me too. It seems like the doctor even said something about how they usually DON'T pair up Alimta and other chemos with Mom.

I'm so very, very sorry... If you need someone to cry with, we're here.

I can't wait to hear. I have had them on my heart!

Fay--I'm glad you like Fall so much, but you didn't have to celebrate it's arrival by having one yourself. Feel better!

If you need a break from reality at any point, and you happen to be like me--a sucker for adolescent/coming of age type literature go get The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, and read it. At the worst you'll think they're incredibly lame and can heckle me about my bad taste and that will be fun for you. And at the best you'll find new book friends like I did. Anyway. I just finished book 2 and I loved it.

It's the first day of fall. This day snuck up on me. The fullness of this last year has caused me to be confused about what season I was in or what day it was most of time. For some reason this realization hits me in a strange and difficult way. In some ways, it felt as though this summer would be eternal. It felt as though it would go on and on and on being summer, and being wrapped in caring for Mom, losing Mom, grieving Mom. That is not the case, and I find my heart full of grief because I just left the last season that I had with my Mom. Part of me feels that if I can't be with her physically, I at least want to be close to her chronologically. This is just another symbol that though it feels like everything should still be stopped and taking notice that my Mom is dead, life is going on. It is right that it should do so, I suppose. I am going on. I continue loving on Carolyn and watching her grow and conquer one milestone after another. I'm thinking of new directions for the future, and investigating how to go those ways. But today... I just want to stay here for a little bit. I don't want to get any farther from my Mom. I guess it doesn't matter. She is still gone today. I'm still not with her. If I was going to freeze time I should have done it a few months ago, or better yet, last summer before cancer had robbed my mother of her ability to do the normal tasks of living. But we didn't know how precious and fragile life was then. If I'd frozen time, I would have missed all of the good of this year as well. There would be no Carolyn. I would have been in Washington far away from my folks, and I wouldn't have had the time with them that I did. (And then there would be the perpetual morning sickness..... perish the thought!) I guess it is right that the seasons will keep on changing, but there is a sting in it today.

The Bible A Ring of Endless Light by Madeleine L'Engle... And then something by Brennan Manning or Larry Crabb or Henri Nouwen, but I don't know what.

Happy, happy birthday to two delightfully wonderful people. I'm so glad you both got born.

I'll bring KFC, with Coleslaw, and Mac-n-chees, and the cake that they advertise. But the deal is NO FORKS or plates or spoons or anything. It's an Andy and Val thing.

I'm so very sorry.

You guys are really lucky to be able to have each other to lean on. We'll be here for you to lean on too. It's kind of an 'aha' thing when you recognize yourself in those stages... ((((hugs)))) to you.

Kasey is one of my very favorite people on the whole planet. Every time I hear from her I feel like I've been verbally hugged. I am DELIGHTED for this year and DELIGHTED for the many more that are to come! I'm glad you popped in. Keep that up!