Treebywater

Thinking of Dean and Gay here too.

Since I moved out for college whenever Mom or Dad would have bad news they invariably tried to protect me. And it made me REALLY, REALLY mad. I wanted to know. Like Pat said--feeling like she's being protecter will make her worry more. So... I guess at least for me, honesty was the best policy. I'm praying for Charlie. I'm glad you have a plan. I will pray in agreement with Pat and Brian that this weekend helps Charlie gear up and then that you'll be able to kick the beast hard and fast!!! Val

((((((Jim)))))))

First of all, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this and that family member is so sick. It's great that you are helping your family member by taking them to chemo. That's important, needed support. The beginning of the journey with this stuff leaves you reeling, doesn't it? Mad, Sad, Angry... I channeled my anger in lots of different weird ways--at people who were insensitive, at insurance companies, at all sorts of things. My Mom was a smoker too (though she had NSCLC). When she was diagnosed she *Tried* to stop smoking. But it was really, really hard. My Dad, her primary caregiver is still a smoker. Mom eventually quit, and Dad quit smoking inside. Cigarettes are so addicting. I've talked to poeple who have dealt with alcoholism and drug abuse that tell me that for them smoking is the hardest addiction to kick. That says a lot to me. The way I thought of it was this way: My folks had just been hit with the hardest thing that they'd ever been hit with in their lives. One of the ways they have coped for years and years was to smoke. If they were edgy, they smoked. If they were sad they smoked. Now... when confronted with the hardest thing they'd ever dealt with how difficult would it be to quit?? VERY. That coping mechanism would have been gone. Your family member needs you now. They need your love, your support, and your compassion--not your judgement, and certainly not anger. Cancer teaches us to do the important thins while we still can. To be gentle with one another whenever possible. Be gentle with your family member. Be understanding. Don't harp on the smoking issue--don't you think he's heard it ALL before? It is debilitating to feel as if you are blamed for your own disease. Don't do that to your family member. I know that's not your intention, and I know it's hard not to be angry. But realize that at this point in the game, the CANCER is the enemy. Help your family member to fight THAT with all his might. I'm sorry you have to be here, but welcome to the boards. I hope we'll see you around more!

Today, whilst baking a coffee cake, I had attempted to entertain Carolyn by putting her little boat play gym in the kitchen. She was happily kicking and playing one moment--the motion activated music was playing..... And the next thing I knew she had moved about five feet and was right up next to me using her feet to play with the cabinet drawers... I suspect she rolled though she has been creeping a lot and doing lots of practice moves for crawling. She's a mover! (Just wanted to share)

I am moving on... and I am doing my best to be happy... But I have to let myself feel the sad too. I promise I'm not sitting around crying in my cheerios today. I'm making breakfast (not just cheerios) for Andy, and playing with Carolyn, and taking walks, and reading a book, and watching Judging Amy on TNT (one of my favorite shows to watch with Mom, btw). Also calling Dad, and thinking about Mom. Am ok. Just feeling the feelings I feel I need to feel. (Now wasn't that a sentence?) --Val

I feel happy that you feel happy that Brian is whistling! I'm so glad for you both!

Beth, we miss you and love you!!! Baby Carolyn sends along hugs and kisses and coos. I hope that chair lift comes through. Cindy--Ask her if she gets one if she'll let me ride in it (via internet of course). I always wanted to ride in the one at church and Mom would never let me. ((((((Beth))))))

(((((Kim)))))) What a load to bear. I'm so sorry.

Yay for dosage reduction! I'm so glad you got some sleep and are feeling more like 'normal.'

Oh Andrea! I'm praying for your Mama and for you! All those baby steps are going to add up and she'll look back soon and see she's really taken a giant leap.

I said good night to my Mom for the last time... I can't believe it's been a full month. It still seems so fresh and raw. It still hurts like it was yesterday. I know it hasn't been *that* long, but I thought a full month would give me the feeling of 'distance.' Not so much.

Love it, love it, love it!!!

First of all--There are LCSC shirts??? I want one! Now for my answer: My wedding ring--I'm a wife. My Mom's anniversary band--I am her daughter. A shirt that smells like spit-up. I'm Carolyn's Mommy.

Shoot! If it's chocolate... I'm a goner!

Long-term relationships with NED are so beautiful. I'm SOOO glad for your 5 years!!!!

Oh, Amie! I sure hope so! Suki has been through the ringer! I'm so glad she's home!!! (((hugs))) to you. ((((hugs)))) to Suki.

Praying for some relief for you, Addie! In the from of sleep. Let us know how things go!

(((((Kel)))))

This is AWESOME news!!!

Happy Happy Anniversary!

I'm so glad you're back!

I was thinking that I don't have anything fun in my wallet, and I probably don't right now... But usually I have at least one signed sugar packet in my wallet. I collect them. If I go special places or am with special people, I pick up a sugar packet, date it and make everybody with me sign it. I have quite a collection now.

(((((Nancy))))) (((((Peggy)))) (((((Everybody)))) The ache hurts so much.

Praying, Joanie. We're here supporting you.