EastCoastLadi

Kelli, My heart goes out to you and your family for seeing your mom go thru this. Unfortunately I'm all too familar with watching someone you love dying, ( my dad this time last year). We also thought my dad wasn't going to last long, he suprised everyone, including his doctor. But when it came down to the final moments, it was very difficult, he did have a very hard time, that is not to say your mom will. I know that when my husbands' mother was dying, she didn't really seem that bad, and in her final moments ( which no one expected), she asked my husband to make her a cup of tea, when he came back, she was gone. I will pray that God takes your mom with no pain or complications, please know when she does pass she will be pain and cancer free. Grace

Tracy, you got some very good advice here, I would also mention to you that the platium based chemo. can cause things like the ringing in your ears, also platium based chemo can bring on neuropathy in some people, my husband is still having this problem. Also I'm sure you know that chemo accumulates in your system, so it's building up and up. If your blood cell counts get too low there are always shots, such as arensip? and neulestra or neuprogen. your best bet is to talk to your dr. or if you have a nurse practitioner about it, unfortunately it is normal, so in a sense just think of it as a normal occurance.. wishing you all the best.... Grace

Joan, I think that is one of the hardest parts is the waiting, because you think, what is going on....and the "what ifs".... you may want to ask the dr. is the wait due to the possibility of micrometasies, he/she may think the risk isn't worth it and you are doing well. I know that with my husbands' type of cancer he will always be on some sort of treatment. But I think it doesn't hurt to talk to your dr. more. Grace

...Sending prayers your dads' way for a very good PET report tomorrow!!! Grace

Mary, With mixed emotions I welcome you here, it is unfortunate that you need to be here, but so fortunate that you have found such a wonderful place. First, I am sorry about your mom, but it's a good thing that she is starting up a new chemo. Please read about here about the many successful stories from our "survivors", so please don't give up hope. I think you may want to talk to your dad about this site and see if he would like to check it out. He doesn't have to post, he could just read and probably will get a better understanding from people first hand as to what may or may not happen. As for yourself, your here too, come in join in our chats, they are great for questions, concerns, chit=chatting, anything goes!!!!! In addition to us here for support, talk to the social worker at your moms' hospital. Find out about what support systems there are not only for your mom and dad, but for you and your family as well, and if you have children there are support groups around for them too. As for her diet, she can supplement with drinks such as "Boost" and "Ensure", you may be able to get some samples from the hosp. for her to try. But I found with my husbands' appetite after chemo, was to keep the food simple, eat small amounts, but as many times as her could. Well I hope I have been able to give you some suggestions. Please take care.... Grace

((Eni))) Please know that your mom is in my prayers tonight. I truly understand about your feelings of relief that she is at peace. I felt the same exact way about my father last year. We are here for you.... Grace

Donna, My husband had a very bad reaction to his chemo , Taxol, a couple of weeks ago and ended up in the emergency room. Of course, they took him off of it The strangest part was he had been on it for 3 weeks with no side effects what so ever. Even his drs. were puzzled. But I guess with chemo. you really can't tell what will happen. So now he is off of it. In fact, this is his second reaction to chemo. was The first was a couple of month ago, gemzar and ireotan, it caused his blood sugars to skyrocket so his dr. stopped. But there are other chemos I'm sure your dads' dr. is on top of it. I'm sure they will find another alternative. Grace

Lori, I'm so sorry you are going thru this, I know first hand how awful it is, so helpless. I had asked you this before, but I'm wondering why are they still giving your mom medication by mouth, wouldn't it be easier if she had a pump ( for her pain med), that way if her dosage needed to be changed it would be very simple for the hospice nurse to do. I know that was easier when my dad had one. I remember it was a year ago this weekend, we were going thru almost the same exact thing with my dad that you are with your mom. He was so out of it. It was fast, considering 24-48 hrs before he was aware and talking with us. Lori, the best advice I can give is to make sure that your mom has enough medication. I know you probably have, but have in place the "what if" sinerio. What can you give her, if something happens in the middle of the night, what do you need to do. Just like birth no one can give you what will actually happen. I hope I don't come across as being crass, I don't want to. Lori, I know the pain, I'm crying as I'm writing this. I remember I didn't want my dad to go, but I didn't want to see him living and suffering like he did. ...I'm here for you if you need me. Grace

Tired!! ..... Grace

Hey Debi, I'm still waiting for my girls' bus schedules and they start on Tuesday. You'll luv this one, they have changed the time when school begins and ends everyday due to the fact they want to put more kids on the buses, so they can save the $ due to the high cost of gas. In my girls' school, they are lucky it will only be a five minute difference, but in some other schools, it going to be as much as 45 minutes!!!! Well I hope my girls' have a better time at the bus then your son.... Grace

I know how sad you are feeling, it will be a year coming up Tues. since my father died of cancer. I know it seems like he was with us almost like it was yesterday. My mom visited his grave for the first time since the funeral, he is buried at Mass. Nat'l Cemetary which is about 2 hrs away from where we live, it was very sad for her, I know that it will be difficult for me when I go down there. Please know we are here for you thru all your sadness. Grace

Hey Barb, I got an idea, I don't know if it is "legal" or not, so I'm assuming that alot of these students are under 25?, because if that is the case isn't there this "white noise???" out there that only people under a certain age can hear, and it is very aggrevating only to those that can hear it? I think I saw somewhere on the news where this store owner was having problems w/ young people, teenagers hanging around, causing a nuisance, so he set up a speaker and put this noise on it, and sure enough it did the trick!........older people can't hear it....just a far out idea!!!! Grace

Wonderful news!! I'm so happy for your mom!!! Grace

Lori, I'm glad at least the dentist got to see your mom. I'm not too sure about the meds. Do the hospice nurses bring your moms' med or do you have them delivered to you. Because if you have them delivered, maybe you can get the new meds delivered too. I think you should talk to your moms' dr. about if he/she advises having her tooth pulled. I don't know if she could handle the procedure, with the medications such as novacaine. I wish you all the best, pray for comfort for your mom. Grace

(((Melinda)))), Your mom is in my prayers tonite. Grace

Shirley, I wish I could give you some answers about your dads' headaches, could it be a side effect of the gammaknife? but definitely ask the dr. when you take your dad....it may even be some accumulative effects of all the treatments...but I'm praying that your dad will be ok.... Grace

(((Pat))), your words are so profound and eloquent, yet so very sad, although you may mourn, please take heart in knowing that you have loved and continue to love and are given much love in return by so many..... Grace

Deb, My prayers go out to you and your family today. We are here for you.... Grace

Lori, I agree w/ you, I know I don't tolerate anyones' "BS" anymore , I don't have the time or patience for it!!!! I have to ask, do you give your moms' meds by mouth, or is she on a pump? Because if she isn't on a pump, she probably should be, that way, they can set it up that she gets so much med. at certain intervals of time. I know w/ my dad, they started out in the hospital every 30 mins, when he came home, in the end he pressed/bolus the pump every 15 mins. Also the pump is set up that you can't overdose. Also I don't know if your mom has a counselor, or perhaps hospice could send in someone, for her to talk to, only a suggestion. (((Lori))), my heart goes out to you, I remember the agony all too well w/ my dad last year. Towards the end of my dads' life, I saw that life the way for him suffering was no life at all. I wouldn't want anyone that I love to suffer the way my dad did. Although I miss him, I could't live with seeing him in unbearable pain and no quality of life. Prayers for your mom and your family. Grace

I wanted to bump this up today, because I think it is so important, very sad but true. Especially when I read about some peoples' experience w/ end of life issues. I often wonder how far have medical ethics have gone? Grace

Lori, ...it's terrible that your sf is being such a "thorn" (for a lack of a better word).. I think he's angry part due to he's scared and helpless. I hate to say but I have been in your shoes, my father was home w/ hospice this time last year. You feel totally helpless and then when you see your parent in pain, it's too much to bear. You know what really gets me, when someone is in hospice, where are the drs?.....it's like, ok I've done my thing, so next... ( I posted an article about this a while back ..I think I may repost it again, ). Does your mom want any medical measures done to prolong her life? I ask because if she does, I think she should be back to the dr/hospital to take care of the bleeding. Hospice doesn't and shouldn't mean that because a person may not have long to live, they shouldn't be treated for anything new that may arise. My prayers go out to you, you're doing the best you can, just being there for mom is one of the greatest "medicines" there is, you may not agree, but I think your mom would. Grace

I came across this today http://www.pipelinereview.com/joomla/co ... /5931/109/ Grace

Brian, I'm so glad that Joanie is doing well! Sending prayers and wishing a very speedy recovery! Grace

Welcome!!!!! Sharon, You truly are a survivor! I am so sorry for all that you have gone thru. You are correct when you said there are a great bunch of people here! You are a very strong woman and for all that you have been thru, you will go on. Some of the physical symptoms you are experiencing is normal, my husband neuropathy hasn't gone away, we don't know if it ever will, but we'll take that over pain or progression of the cancer any day! Grace

Kathleen, It is so difficult to see someone you love suffer and not being able to do a damn thing about it. But please take solace in knowing that you being there for your mom is one of the best things in the world for her right now. Treasure all the moments, the simplest of things, the quiet, the ordinary, brief moments are precious. Don't worry about your siblings, it isn't about them, someone very wise once told me, "you are not your family", it took me sometime to get it, but I got it. Please vent all you want to, you need to and I too am so happy to know that this wonderful place and people are so understanding....... Grace