-Cheryl-

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement. It really helps! I have found myself sleeping till 2:30 pm in the afternoon. I suppose my body is repairing from the surgeries still. My gut is sore and itches- healing I suppose. I feel pretty good, but become winded after moving around a bit. That has never been a problem until now and certainly curbs the enthusiasm. I tried to get in my garden and pick some over-ripened vegetables before they rot on the vine. My garden has been quite neglected as of late. I still haven't got out on the boat yet. I guess that was not a good investmate, huh? I hope and pray to God for more time on this earth to enjoy it. I will try to go back to work if possible in a couple of weeks. I need my insurance and really need something to get me up and out of the house. I do not know how I will handle the chemo though. Still, so many uncertainties. I am deeply saddened by the death of Jerrye, who lived in Rockwall. Texas. I wrote to her, and her letter got accidently errased. She promised to write again, but never did. That was when she really started going down hill I guess. I hate this disease! I again want to thank you all for your posts. I am struggling with depression, and feel pretty hopeless right now. Reading your posts helps me to know that I am not alone. Thanks guys! Cheryl

I am so heartbroken by this news. I had spoken to Jerrye not long ago on the phone and she was full of optimisim. Please know that we are all praying for the family during this difficult time. Cheryl

I am known by my sisters, and my numerous neices and newhpews as "Cubba." My baby sister couldn't say "Cheryl." I have no idea how come the connection. It is endearing to hear a little three year old call me "Cubba." I worked in the schools sometimes, and the teachers of my relatives would say, "So, you are Aunt Cubba." Ha! Cheryl

Shell, I hate that you are going through this! Just remember that the majority of bumps are benign. I am praying hard that your spots are all nothing. Sending prayers to God for you and my love, Cheryl

Go Connie Go... Jack n Cheryl

Hello all my Dear Friends at LCSC, I am so glad to be home and I'm sick of hospital food, somebody measuring all the fluids excreted from my body, and being teathered to the wall. My sister came to visit me often in the hospital to relieve Jack. On one paticular visit, the nurse in charge caught me and my sister giving each other facials with the suction hose to rid ourselves of black heads. My sister brought me lobster one night and I asked her if the "doctor had told her something I didn't know?" She said nope, and I thoroughly enjoyed the crustation! I was so impressed at her buying me my favorite food in the whole world. She said, "Oh it wasn't nothing, just a crawdad from Lake Michigan." Ha! I bet she wished it cost the same as a crawdad instead. I asked my doctor for a prescription to bring my baby dog up to the hospital. He did, but Jack warned him that I would be wanting one for my pregnant mare next. Ha! Anyway, I am more than happy to be home with Jack and all my critters and am very sore from the surgeries. I was glad to get rid off the tubes hanging out of my abdomen. They were in there for eleven days and quite ouchie. I was told I had a large paracardial effusion, and also a pleural effusion and that I had mets to both kidneys and several lymph nodes. I am discouraged and tired- but not defeated yet. Will start taxotere and p100 I think and after that, Dr. Nemenitis has me geared up for a vaccine trial. Dr. Nemenitis is the creator of GVAX. He was the only doctor that offered me something encouraging. Otherwise, I would be deep within the bowels of this beast and very disheartened. Thank you so much for your prayers and well wishes. Much Love, Cheryl

After 11 long days in the hospital, it looks like Cheryl will be coming home tomorrow! She is so ready and we are both looking forward to it. I know she has a lot of catching up to do with all of y'all. We have a treatment plan in place... I'll let her tell you about it. Thanks for all of your prayers! -Jack-

Our hearts go out to you both. Prayers... -Jack-

Had a little time and thought I would fill you in on what it was that Cheryl had done. Cheryl was feeling very lethargic and was laboring with breathing. She went in to see the Onc and he admitted her after reviewing the CT scan. Turns out she had a large paracardial effusion (fluid around the lining of the heart) and a plueral effusion (fluid around the linng of the lungs. The procedure Fri. drained the fluid from the paracardial area and the procedure Tues. was called "installing a window" in the lining of the heart. They do this by basically cutting a hole in the top of the heart lining and leaving it like that permenantly. This way, if the lining fills up again, it will hit the overflow and be absorbed back into the body. They extracted over 700 CCs of fluid from the paracardial, which is a large amount. Since they can't use paracardial fluid for a GVAX sample, the fluid was useless. However, they can use the plueral effusion fluid... only problem here, she did not have enough. They need 600 CCs to get a complete sample. Cheryl had no where near that. The surgeon elected to leave the existing fluid in the lining of the lung thinking if it got to a dangerous point he could extract it and use it then. I like the way our surgeon (Dr. Harry Kourlis) has approached this. Looks like there will be an Oncologist who gets fired in Dallas, Texas... Dr. Claude Denham will be fired as soon as I can get him face to face... We found out that there has been a spot on Cheryls kidney that has been there for over 3 months. For some reason, our oncologist decided not to tell us even thogh every time the CTs were reviewed, Cheryl has asked him if there was any other spots outside the Lung... his answer everytime was, No. Even as late as last Fri. I feel that knowing this information then, We would have probably seeked some sort of intervention at that point. For some reason, We were kept uninformed. I will also seek Counsel. *ss whippin' aint completely out of the question either. Cheryl is feeling a lot better and hopefully she will come home in the next couple of days. She has another chest tube to deal with...you know how awful that is. Hope you understood my explanation of her surgeries... a few of you had inquired and I thought i'd try to anyway. Thanks again for all of your support. -Jack-

A note to let you know that Cheryl is doing well in post surgery. She is still in pain but steadily feeling better. She is not a candidate for the GVAX... The government won't allow for tumors to be taken out of the chest wall area for samples to make the vaccine even though they had the chest area already open. Makes no sense to me either. Hopefully we will have her home in the next couple of days, she will fill you in on the rest. Thanks again for thinking of her. -Jack-

Talked to the surgeon this morning... he wants to get samples for Cheryl to get in on the GVAX trial. Cheryl will be back in surgery tomorrow (Tues.) and will hopefully be on her way to a speedy recovery. I am so glad we have a surgeon as aggressive as he is... He said our options were chemo, radiation or GVAX. Though he said the vaccine is the most unproven, he wants to give it a go. We had all but given up on the idea and thought it was not an option. Maybe this is the answered prayers from all of you that God has in mind. Thank you all for keeping her in your thoughts. Thanks to Connie for her calls and in keeping you all informed... Hearing from all of you means so much. I'l try to keep everyone posted as time lends itself. Most of my time seems to be on the road, back and forth. I want her back home and miss her. Please keep us on the prayer list. Jack

Thank you all for your support... it means so much coming from my friends. My CT was moved from next week to tomorrow (Fri). I am having trouble breathing and have a bad sore throat. Hopefully it's a bug and I will be back up and running again soon. I'll keep y'all posted. Thanks again Cheryl

Shellie, You know my sisters use to say to me "you inherited the good hair, the athletic ability, and straight teeth"......Yet I am the unfortunate one to also get the cancer gene too! Yep, I am the lucky one. I am praying that this is not something that your family has passed on to you too my dear. I have a friend who has had breast cancer, stage 4, and is now 12 years out! Please know that you have many prayers going out for you and your sister. Love, Cheryl

Hello my LCSC Friends, I have not posted for a while, but read all of your posts daily. I am still working full time and try to live an active as possible ife that this disease will alow me. Jack and I just bought a 22 ft. pontoon boat. Something we have dreamed of owning for years! I just sent my cantankerous stallion off to be trained so I will finally be able to ride him. A seasoned cowboy couldn't even rope him and load him. Ha! I did it effortlessly- I halterd my mare and he just followed! I am also the number one highest, producing program at work. Life is really good! I am not saying these things to gloat....I am so very blessed and give all the glory to God. Yet, why am I so utterly sad inside. I am afaid the cancer is growing and eating away at all of my hopes and dreams. I have been so nauseated these past few days, that I don't want to eat. My energy level is very low, and I find myself struggling for my next breath whenever I try to do anything. I tell everyone at work that I am good, feeling great! They all think I am cured. I do not want their sympathy, and I want to be treated with respect and dignity. When I had surgery, my boss made a little flow chart of who was in charge in his absence. I was the last team leader on the list ( I was the one with cancer). He told me this week that the chart meant nothing, and that I am equal to his little flunky who he brought with him when he took over. He even sent me to Austin few weeks ago, not his little a** kisser. But, I have earned it and worked hard! I am in my prime now, but this disease threatens to take away everything I have worked so hard to achieve. I am afraid I won't be able to hide it if I get sicker. I am the sole supporter. Jack hasn't worked since his heart attack. O.K. maybe the boat was not a good idea afterall. I am worrying too much about everything. Please God give me the strength to do this. Thank you for letting me whine. I just guess I am feeling like poo and feeling sorry for myself. God Bless you all, and please keep us in your prayers too. Cheryl

Ginny, May God watch over you and Earl. WE are praying hard for you two! Cheryl

Sandy, You go girl! I am praying for no cancer found anywhere in the body!! Cheryl

Nancy, You are one tough cookie. Hang in there! You will make it throught this. Praying for you and hoping good thoughts. Cheryl

Phyllis, You have been through "Hell and back", but you are still here! I wish that I could help you in some way. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Call the American Cancer Society and Hospice for some help. Many people think that Hospice is the last stop, but there are many who only use them for a brief while. Let me know if I can do anything at all. Cheryl

Dean, Your posts are missed by us all. I too, appreciate the beautiy of nature. I can't imagine what heaven must be like, if it is grander than the planet we already occupy. I live out in the country. and I have a huge colony of Barn Swallows that come every spring with generations of family following them. They have taken over our pourch and car port. I don't care, I rather enjoy them. We have learned to co-exist. I have blade marks all in the post holdin up he front porch, where Jack killed big old King snake, who attempted to eat some of the Barn Swallow eggs. I have a small vegetable garden that has really flurished this year due to the rain. My mare will foal soon and I am excited about that. My stallion is so full of himself, that he he runs and bucks like a wild bronco showing off his gymnastic abilities for us all. This is my sanctuary, my small piece of heaven on earth. I thank God for my life each and everyday. These are the small blessings that make life so sweet. God Bless you, and may your pain subside soon. Cheryl

Happy 45 Anniversary Don and Lucie!!! May you have many, many more. I am sorry to hear about Lucie's pain and hope that she finds relief soon. Both You and Lucie are amazing cancer survivors, who live life with such gusto. You are a shining example to everyone on this board. Warm wishes and thoughts for you both on this special Day! Cheryl and Jack

Heather, Good for your friend! What a survivor! I don't know that Ritalin is such a good drug for cancer patients suffering from extreme fatigue though. Ritalin is an older stimulant used mostly to treat ADD and ADHD. It use to be prescribed as a diet pill. It can increase energy, but the negative effects far exceed the positive in my opinion. It can cause insomnia, cathexia, agiatation, palpitations, and tachycardia. The drug is a narcotic, a controlled substance. It must be titrated, and high doses can cause paranoia, hallucinations, and delusional beliefs. Other similar medications are Dexadrine and Adderall. Another medicine that might work is called Concerta, a time released stimulant. The side-effects would be more tollerable, because the drug is time released. These drugs behave much different in children and Adults with ADD and ADHD. They actually have a calming effect. The opposite would be true of the "Average Joe" taking a stimulant. It isn't called "Speed" for nothing. I just wanted your friend, who has done so well, to consider his options. Heather, You and I both know exercise, diet, and supplements are best for increasing energy. Wish him well for me! Cheryl

Carlton, I agree with you. If everybody would chip in a little, it would sure take a load off of Katie and Rick. My thanks to all of you who have helped to keep this board up and runnning! Cheryl

Don, It just hasn't been the same without you. We all missed you vevy much. I look forward to seeing your posts again! Cheryl

Cat, I agree with Glo, perhaps subconsciously you are contemplating suicide. Please consider counseling and talking to someone about this. I hope that you are not offended. I myself, cannot not deny that I too have some pretty dark days. Sometimes I feel I shouldn't be giving anyone any advice. Cancer takes away your sense of control. Perhaps suicide makes one feel more in control of their life, and when it will end. Fortunately, my religious convictions prevent me from following through with it too. Just hang on Cat, fight this damn disease the best that you can. There may be a cure on the horizon soon. If not, then you have fought a valiant war, and you will be rewarded with eternal life. Yesterday, I screened a man who was desperate for help. He had attempted suicide 5 times, and once ended up on a ventalator. Amazingly, he survived. He was feeling those same thoughts again and told me that his plan this time was to jump in front of oncoming traffic in Dallas. I thought "Here I struggle with life, and you want to end yours." It is hard to see that when one is depressed. I am glad that this man had enough insight into his illness to get the help that he needed. I hope that you to seek support and counseling to help you deal with this disease too. Thinking of you and praying for you, Cheryl

I am in awe of the members of this board and their generosity. And especially the aultruistic nature of Katie and Rick to continue to help us fight this disease through this website, despite the loss of Jessie Dewey, which is truely inspiration. Katie could so easily have closed that chapter of her life to make things easier on herself. She instead chose not to let Jessie's life be in vain, and use her experience to help others. Thank you Katie, Rick, Connie, Jane...... and all of you who make this board possible. Shame on anyone for sending "hate mail." We don't need ingrates, just find another board to complain on. Cheryl