Angie Daughter of Bill Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 We saw Dad's oncologist today. The news is NOT good. The oncologist is about 90% sure that the numbness in Dad's mouth area is due to cancer in the spinal fluid. It is putting pressure on a nerve in the area of the brain stem. Good Lord............I didn't even know that this was possible. Have any of you had experience or heard of cancer in the spinal fluid?? I know that the prognosis for that just can't be good. They did a lumbar puncture today to test the spinal fluid. Of course it's the weekend and we won't know for sure until Tuesday which is when Dad sees the doctor again. We might possibly know Monday afternoon. After the lumbar puncture, Dad got a dose of chemo directly in his spinal fluid. ( I believe it was Depocyte) Also, the scratchy voice is coming from the primary tumor pressing on a nerve and causing vocal cord paralysis. Yet another challenge. Dad's doctor pulled me aside and said that if the spinal fluid was positive for cancer cells it's game over. No more treatment. Given the general shape that Dad is in, he might not get any more treatments even if the fluid is negative. Dad took a fall at our barn yesterday. I couldn't get him up. He couldn't help me. He was like dead weight. I had to run to our neighbor's house, who lucky for us was home, and get him to help me with Dad. Poor Dad, he had to lay on the soggy ground while I ran to the neighbor's house. I have known and seen first hand how quickly it seems my Dad is going downhill, but I'm just not ready to give him up. Not yet. There is so much more that I want us to do. I want him to see my kids graduate from school, graduate from college, see my kids raise a family of their own.............I want so desperately for him to be there to share all of these things with me. I'm sooooooo sorry that every time I on here lately that it seems as if I am having a pity party. That's one reason I'm not here much right now. I just hate to be the "whiner". Plus, if I type out everything that is going on...........well, it seems much more real. I want to just hide out in my shell for a bit longer. I want to deny that this is all happening, but I can't. (Especially when I come here.) I think of you all often. Love to all!! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie P.S. If anyone knows of anything to be done for cancer in the spinal fluid or has any kind of experience with it, please e-mail me at chismfamily@earthlink.net I would really appreciate it. I am heading to "Ask the Experts" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Angie, Reading your post brings on tears. Prayers for your dad and you. I wish I had an answer for you. I hate this disease. I pray every day for a cure. It is in God's hands. Please keep us posted. Thinking of you... God Bless, special prayers and hugs, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haylee_38 Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Angie, Breaks my heart reading your post. Know dad and you are in my thoughts and prayers. Haylee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Angie dear.... I have nothing helpful to offer but my wish that this wasn't happening. Your love for your dad is so profound and I'm sure he treasures you and his time with you and your family as much as you do. This is such a hard time...and....well.....I'm just so sorry. I hate to see you hurting so. Wish I could help, other than continuing to send my fervent wishes that you get more time and that Dad not suffer any pain. Thinking of you.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 (((Angie))), God be with you and your family. You have my prayers. Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Angie, i am sorry you can't seem to catch a break here. I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenl Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Hi Angie Thinking of you all, and hoping for an improvement. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Hi Angie, Poor guy he is going through too much. I am so glad that you are there with him. You are a wonderful daughter. Just show him all the love you can. Praying for healing for him, and strength for you. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Angie, I am speechless. Praying for a miracle of healing for your dad. Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Angie, so sorry at this. Hang in there. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 So very sorry to hear that Angie, prayers that things will turn around. Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Sweetie, you are not whining, and you are not having a pity party. Thinking of you and sending "warm fuzzies" your way gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 I'm so sorry Angie. As for whining... I want you to know that every time I see that you have posted I make a point to read it because you are so very obviously a LIGHT. Even when your posts are about sad things... you are honest and still that light. I will be praying for you and your family. I so relate to wanting your Dad around for all those milestones of your babies'. ((((Angie)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Oh Angie, my friend, I am so sorry that you are getting bad news. This is a tough time and all we can do is let you know we care about you and your family. We wish your dear Dad some good news for a change. Don't you dare think you are a whino, oops, whining. That is what we are here for, the place where you can truly let your feelings be known, while you try and remain stoic at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Dearest Angie, I am so sorry that things are looking so desparate. I am praying for some positive news. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieLR Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Dearest Angie, My heartfelt prayers are with you. I am so sorry for your situation. I just wish I could give you a big hug right now. Melanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elnodel Posted March 5, 2005 Share Posted March 5, 2005 Dear Angie, So very very sorry. I know how terrible this is for you and how desperately you want it not to be happening. I'm sending you all the cyber hugs I can muster. Just know that you're not alone -- we're all here for you; post when you can bear to. We're all praying for you and your dad. Love, Ellen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail p-m Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 Angie So sorry to hear about this new turn for your Dad. It's so hard! I hope the Experts can offer your father a treatment suggestiion. Sending prayers and thoughts your way and your Dad's way too. Gail P-M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 Angie, If ever I really wished I could hug somebody, I wish that now. Cyber hugs just don't seem to get the job done to adequately express how sad I am at all that you are having to go through. This disease is so cruel. (((((((((((((ANGIE)))))))))))))) Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 Angie, I believe the treatment that is given for cancer cells in the spinal fluid (or Carcinomatous Meningitis) is called Intrathecal Chemotherapy. Chemo is given directly into the spinal fluid. Everything I have ever read indicates it can be a difficult course of treatment. Having said that, very little in the way of cancer treatments have been easy. Just my opinion. Ultimately it will be your Dad who has to decide how much farther he wants to go in treatment. Please tell him how much I admire his courage, Angie. And remember how much I admire and respect you for all you do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TAnn Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 Angie, First of all , prayers have been sent for your dad and family. I'm so sorry to hear of the new complications. You are NOT whining!!! You are expressing your fears, concerns and asking for support in the only place I know of that can relate to what you are going through. That's why we are all here. If none of us needed to whine, we wouldn't need this wonderful site! Keep coming to us, we are here to hold you up when you think it is just too difficult. Take care of yourself. TAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NellW Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 Angie Dear, I am so sorry to hear how hard things are for your Dad right now. I remember one time Jo called us in the early morning and Bob had fallen and she could not get him up. These are rough times, I know. Never feel like you are whining or complaining. This is the place to say how you are feeling, and we are here for you. Love Nell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted March 6, 2005 Share Posted March 6, 2005 Angie, This is a real blow to you and your family I am sure. I am so sorry to hear that things have progressed this far. I pray for you every day and hope that your dad is comfortable. This disease is a real monster and it doesn't play fair. Angie, never, never think you are whining. Telling it like it is is not whining. That's what we are here for and I hope you will continue to "let is all out" with us. Keep us posted and know that you are in my thoughts. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandyS Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 Angie - So sorry that you're having to deal with so much right now. Sending out MAJOR prayers for you AND your dad....... Hugs and prayers, SandyS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 Angie, Sorry about the latest news about your father, sending prayers for both of you. You are not whining, you and your father had a lot of set back lately, hope the treatment bring relief. Hugs J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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