Fay A. Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 I'm allowed to have one from time to time. We all are. So, you are all invited to join me in this two day event. I'll even wear the wig, otherwise the lampshade I wear upon my head at (a certain point during the festivities) will be too big and slide down over my face. So I'm going to enjoy this two days of "The news was bad and doesn't it stink.", but come Monday Morning it is back to Survivor Mode, and live well now. And the truth is even during the Pity Party moments it is mostly "live well now" mode for me. To the best of my ability I try to put aside the anger, or at least direct it towards appropriate targets. So, please join me in a few choruses of "Nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. Think I'll eat some worms..." It bothers me a great deal that those of who have the disease now feel we have to qualify what we say with "I'm not having a Pity Party.". So I say have one! Anytime you want! Invite me, and I'll come. And like a true friend, if you've stayed too long at the Pity Party we'll 86 you and haul you out of there. And we'll be there when you come to, as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 Can't say that I blame you Fay. Enjoy the pity party, but come Monday morning I will be expecting you to be back in survivor mode. You are amazing. I am afraid I would be at my pity party way too long. It is a shame that some people here expect us to all be up all the time. It isn't possible all the time. There are times when any normal person feels down and sorry for themselves. I hope that we get back to the notion that what we are feeling at that very moment is important to others just because it is important to us. I say, tell it like it is. Keeping you in my prayers. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geri Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 You're allowed this one, but don't make a habit of it. Can't help with the worms - grounds frozen here so you're on your own - I do however have a smallish lampshade that may fit! I'll be right behind you on Monday, you may use me as a prop any time. All the best Geri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teresag Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 In my opinion, what people often call self-pity is really just being tired of putting on a brave face. You don't have to always be brave for others' benefit, Fay. You are entitled to lapses in that strong, solid, forward-looking posture from time to time. Do what you need to do, friend. - Teresa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 I think pity parties are fine, as long as they have an ending. Go for it. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 I think pity parties are a fine thing--people who act like they don't have them are kidding themselves. So I invite you to whine and cry all you want for the next 36 hours. I will listen with open arms. gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 Like others have said you have earned the right to have a pity party. Anyone who says they don't have one under stressfull circumstances is fooling themselves and trying to fool others. One of the best things about a pity party is that when it is over we seem to somehow find new strength and determination. So party away! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 Got made tears as well as laughter, and a good pity party has both. I'll bring the ice cream--what kind do you like, Fay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pattie Posted January 7, 2006 Share Posted January 7, 2006 We're all allowed them from time to time. We just need to know when it's time to stop and pull ourselves up by the boot straps and start all over again. Take the time you need and it will give you the strength to make it through tomorrow. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Pattie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Yep,having a pity party is ok.On Monday morning tho remember that the problem with doing nothing is not knowing when it is over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carolhg Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 I certainly do understand. Occasionally I have a 'pity party' either for myself or for someone else. I am also known to have an 'anxiety', 'fear' or 'what if' party. After a day or two I get tired of my own company and get on with getting on with life. We are just human, that is why I pray. Prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pattie Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Dear Carol: I was reading your reply and then read your profile. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hope all goes well for you this month! Pattie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppie Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 I am so with you, Fay! Here I brought some props: Huge box of kleenx, video of "Beaches", and some pj's ( cuz I love having a good cry in my flannel pajamas). NO alcohol, though cuz I hate to be a sloppy drunk. Also I have some midol, and an ice pack for the headache I get after I cry too much. Also, I unplug the phone, I hate to be called and asked "what's wrong" when I am in the middle of the pit. "I mean come on..can't you guess? NOt get outta ma face" just ain't too classy and i will only feel ashamed in the morning. Also...this pity party should take place in the shower....with it running. That will help with the puffy eyes and wash away the snots. ':(' Fay, Can I pass you the midol---or vicodin? THis really sucks. I F*&^%^&^ hate cancer. eppie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Fay, You are allowed . I'm so sorry you have gotten such rotten news. I'm praying that the chemo will be the answer. You are one of the strongest people I know and I just know that come Monday morning it will be business as usual for you. Sending you a hug and a couple tears as you face the next hurdle. Love and Prayers, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 I think a good old fashioned wallowing is certainly called for, here. Two-days seems just about right. Go for it...do it right...and get it all out of your system. I do have to say, though, I don't know if you are very good at this. What's with all the positive comments? Get down and dirty. We're eatin' worms, here for crying out loud. At the end of the party, be warmed with the knowledge of how much we love ya! Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail p-m Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Fay, Honestly after what you've gone through during the past few months, I think your pity party is long overdue. So go wallow for awhile. You deserve it. gail p-m Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaffie Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 You've put off your Pity Party too long, it's time you had one. I hope you get to feeling better soon Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Fay, I believe I attended your last pity party. I must say, you clean the joint up pretty fast and keep the party moving and on schedule like a pro. Since I know it will all be spit-spot by Monday, I'm going to join you in the Weekend Of Wallowing ("WOW" for short). I have the chocolate syrup and the big bowls, who's scoopin' out Val's ice cream? We can rent a bunch of chick flicks (As Good As It Gets, Something's Gotta Give, Steel Magnolias) and put on our comfy jammies, fuzzy slippers, warm robes and grab a teddy bear. Come as you are, Fay, no need for the wig or shades at my house. I'll join you in the WOW and then I'll hold your hand on Monday. ...but if you want to laugh, I LOVE Whose Line Is It, Anyway? Love to you, my worm-eating survivor. I'll eat worms for you, but NO spiders, cockroaches, beetles, cow blood or those zillion other things the "reality show" (like THIS ain't reality!) tosses at the contestants. Buncha sissies they are, eatin' bugs ain't near as bad as pukin' a balding head off, huh? Keep on keepin' on, girl! xxoo, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Well I am in, except we'll need "Fried Green Tomatoes" added to Beck's chick flick list. I'm also bringing the alcohol....can't wallow without alcohol. I am a great crier--you cry and I'm right there with you. Hang in there Fay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pattie Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Oh how well I know that feeling. I'm having my own as you write and I read. Can I blow off some steam and really tell my story? You don't have to read any further, but, I'm going to write anyway. I write in my diary, but it doesn't respond to me. Four years ago, Mom had varicose vein surgery and ended up with an internal infection. After she got out of the hospital my boyfriend and I moved in to care for her. March 6th of 2003, the doctor's wanted an unltrasound on her leg for fear of blood clots. Well, snow storm and all I drove her to the hospital near our house, got the results and drove her to another hospital. They did the usual X-ray of the chest to make sure none of the clots broke loose. Low and behold, we found Stage 4B cancer of the lung. Two weeks later she comes home from the hospital and goes for all of the radiation and chemo. Three years of chemo at a low dosage because of her age. Cellulitis sets in on her leg. Two more weeks in the hospital. Her mind isn't were it needs to be so we call in a geriatric doctor. Yeah, now we're talking Alzheimer's also. She needed 24 hour care, so we put her in a nursing home for three months until we felt she could come home. Well, about that time, my (ex)boyfriend decided that he had had enough and couldn't go on anymore in our life together. Ended up going back to his ex-wife. Says a lot right there. Anyway, Mom was getting really tired of the treatments and decided to go for quality over quantity. She hadn't had any spreading of the cancer for eight months. She started to complain about pain in her back. It was getting worse, so the X-rays, MRI and PET Scan were set up. The is a tumor that has caused a fracture in her back. She can't have radiation for it because it is in the same spot where it was shot for the lung and could cause paralysis. They are going to do a tibralplasty on Monday. Kind of like a cast on the inside of the bone. Goes in like toothepaste and sets withing 8-10 minutes. That will help with the pain, but doesn't help the tumor. They will do a biopsy on the way in to confirm one way or the other what it is. I'm here for her 24/7. On Oct. 26, I had my own surgery to replace three discs in my neck. I have been on medical leave since then. I will return to work in another week. I'm doing things for Mom that I really shouldn't because of my own healing, but it has to be done because she can't. I have even gotten to the point where I have to give her a shower. When I go back to work, I don't know what I'll do. I know I have to put home life aside, but, can't help feeling that I'll be a basket case worrying about Mom. I feel lost, left out, and abandoned. But, I try to put on a smile and go upstairs and keep on taking care of Mom. There are days that I don't know which is worse, the cancer or the Alzheimer's. She's frustrated and angry and I know why, but I take the brunt because I live with her now. Believe it or not, I feel better. I got lots off my chest that I can't tell anyone that is near me. They wouldn't understand. Thanks for listening! Now my party is over! Pattie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Miss Fay. Go for it. Enjoy! Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Dear Fay, go for it, it is a long time coming. I will bring cookies, lots and lot of cookies. I expect to see you in your boxing gloves on Monday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leslie221 Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Fay, I have some good cries lately, said openly that all this stinks and I don't want it. Made me feel so much better! It's just as healing to say "I hate this!" as it is to say "I can get through it." They're both true statements. Getting out the Kleenex in your honor, Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 Fay, You are allowed the pity party and we will join you for the short duration. I'll bring all the elixir needed, and one of the crazy hat I knit for chemo girls much better than a lamp shade and sure to fit. And like Becky gave it a name already WOW we will all wow and wow for this week end and you will as usual be ready for Monday. Love Jackie[/b] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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