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sorry, confused and new here.


bunny

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is this where I participate? I'm so sorry if it's not. my mom has lung cancer. I'm an otherwise bright woman, but I can't figure out this website right now. can't work, can't do anything. if I'm in the wrong place, I'm so sorry - and can anyone suggest another place? I found a nice message board at cancercare.org but I feel so bad burdening them, their loved ones are generally in much worse shape than my mom.

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You are in the right place and posted where one starts. This is a place for info and ongoing support for LC patients and their loved ones. You fit the bill. Sorry about your mom, but we are here to support you. Let us know what you need. It would be helpful to tell us some about your mom and her lung cancer. Thanks. Don

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Hi Bunny,

And welcome. I'm sorry you need to be here, but glad you found us. Why don't you tell us something about your mother and yourself, and tell us how we can help you. The folks here are very warm and supportive, and we are not strangers to lung cancer!

Keep us informed!

XOXOXOX

MaryAnn

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she's 58. in 2000, she was diagnosed with stage 2 non-small cell adenocarcinoma. they found it via a miracle - a pre-op chest xray for another procedure - and removed a 3rd of her lung. they called it a cure. two years ago, a spot appeared on her lung which was unreachable for biopsy (a lymph node near the middle) so they watched it every 3 months since then. it never grew on the cat scan and barely changed on the pet. anyway, I'm making this so long. bottom line - since her last check 6 months ago, she has developed a tumor which a biopsy has shown to be the same cancer, back again. she is scheduled for surgery in two weeks and chemo is a maybe. she's in moderately good health otherwise, and she really seems ok right now - positive, strong, but understandably scared. I am a damn mess and I don't understand why. I feel like if I really had the faith I claim to (no specific religion, but lots of god) I wouldn't be this devastated. I need to be able to work and I can't. I spend the whole day on the internet (ha, here I am) reading, thinking and crying about cancer. may be more than you bargained for.

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Bunny,

It is understandable that you're shaken by this news --- it takes a while to sink in.

Many surgeons now recommend chemo and or radiation after tumor removal for stage i and ii nsclc. It is primarily preventative. I think of it as insurance. Helped me rest easier at night -- easier being a relative term.

Your mom is young (relatively) and otherwise healthy, I presume, so there is every reason to believe that she'll do well. On the other hand, you might want to read and post some in the caregivers forum as well. Loving someone with cancer is different from having it yourself -- whole different set of challenges to face. But welcome, welcome, thrice welcome.

XOXOX

MaryAnn

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Bunny, welcome, I am so glad you found us. This is a tough disease, tough on everyone, the patient the family , the friends. Please read , let us know what is going on, keep us posted. Soon you will be able to put a little note at the end of your profile with your Moms history so we have that to refer to to make an informed reply. Also , whatever religion, God will listen to your prayers. Pray for your Mom. Donna G

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Hi Bunny,

You're a mess because your Mum has lung cancer and you're scared. That is totally normal and I shouldn't spend too much time worrying that it means a lack of faith or anything else. This is a hugely supportive board no matter the "shape" of the patient. Welcome.

Dee

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I think cancer in a parent is doubly hard on the children, no matter what age. They first have to contend with possibly the loss of that loved one, and then, second, they worry about their own mortality (is it in the genes?). So your reaction is very normal. Don

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Welcome Bunny:

When my Mom was dxed, I kinda went into a state of shock for a bit. It will fade and the fighting spirit will come out.

Also, with doubting your faith, that is normal, I have done it too, but my faith has returned with a vengeance.

Prayers for you and your Mom,

Deb

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Hi Bunny,

You are not only in the right place , but you have just joined a very caring family. We are so glad you joined us. You will find information, love, support, prayers and humor here. Everyone here understands and is here to help one another. As you take time to look around the boards, you will find out where you might want to post your comments and questions. We all like one here. We are all fighting the same monster with the goal of winning. Know that my prayers are being sent your way.

Love and Prayers,

Sue

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Hi Bunny:

I agree with Deb that doubting your faith is all part of the package of emotions when you first start dealing with the uncertainties and fears that come when you find out that your loved one has cancer. Just be patient and let it wash over you. Things will get better as you talk to more people and begin to learn more about your mom’s cancer.

Your mom’s situation is similar to mine. My cancer was found by accident in an early stage. I had the “curative operationâ€

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Welcome to our caring and supportive group. Vent all you want, get info and advice here too. It's a great place.

My Dad's situation sounds similar to your moms. He was diagnosed in 2000 also and was told he had an 80% chance of cure with just surgery. There was no mention of chemo. Three years later a recurrence and Stage III. Then some chemo and radiation. Had 1 1/2 years of good scans and another recurrence right now. Thus far, the spot appears small and doesn't seem to be anyplace else but you never know with lc.

Anyway, good luck to your mom in her fight. Keep us posted and let us know how we can support you.

Gail p-m

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Welcome Bunny, yes you are right where you need to be. You will find tons of support and info here for yourself as well as your mom. This is a terrible time, I understand that, my mom was dx just one year ago and I remember your feelings all too well. I promise, it gets better. Stick around and dont be shy.

Kim

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Hello Bunny, take the advice all these wise caring people give you.. This site is a wonderful place for us with a family member who has cancer. This is my piece of heaven. Be positive and don't give up. Take one day at a time. God bless you and your family, Nancy C

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I can't thank you all enough for taking so much time to make such thoughtful, supportive replies. I still feel a bit lost on this website but much less alone in the world. this is such an intense time, as I know you all know. my mom feels great right now, so for her it's a countdown to feeling crappy which is depressing. she's working alot to get things squared away before her surgery and whatever comes after it (as am I) and I am taking her to the beach on Sat. who knows whether she'll feel up it the rest of the summer. she and I have a tendancy to bicker, so I am working really hard to change that for now. god is so good, and I have a loving partner this time around (hadn't met him yet in 2000, when mom was first sick) which makes a world of difference. I'll be back, and please please let me know how I can support you guys. where do I post, after this 'newcomer' post?

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You definitely came to the right place.

You could not get anymore support and infomation that you can from this wonderful family.

Welcome here!! We understand what you are going through. Please stay and tell us more about what is happening with your mom.

Maryanne

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You sound so much like my daughter - when I was dx'd.

She is STILL scared for me.

I know from my side of this disease, that you are SO important to us.

Both for your support and just to know you care that much.( It really confirms our love for each other )Remember we are scared too..

My daughter ( Missyk ) showed me this site ..I am here daily, to see what information I can find..To continue to get the encourgament that ( I ) we need.

These people are the most caring, loving people you could ever find.

Keep us posted ..

Our prayers are with your family.

sue

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hahaha...and mom tells me when there's something i should see if i don't find it myself!! here i am!

Bunny,

Like you, i spent all of my time searching for "something" that i wasn't sure of. I still have days like that; i think we all do, the ones with cancer and their families. I have gone thru feeling happy for the support i've recieved from my friend to help me deal, to wishing they'd all go away and leave me alone, back to grateful for their strength. I've never felt closer to "God" or farther away. (like you, i have lots of God, just not alot of "religion") I'm 30 years old and terrified of losing my mom...i'm terrified of my daughter, who's 6, not having her "goldplated grandma" AND of her knowing what grandma is going through.

All of these things pass through our minds daily...hourly...even every minute! They go thru the minds of those dealing directly with it, too. I was scared, at first, to admit to Mom how scared i was. I didn't want to hurt her MORE by being scared for her and for what life would be like if she weren't here. I knew that every time we mentioned "future" she felt a pang (and probably still does!). But i finally talked to her about it, and found out that she's still "Mom" just as she was before the diagnosis. Still able to listen to me and my concerns and share her own with me. It has unburdened my mind a little bit.

I'm sorry to hear that you're all having to go through this! I wish to God there was never another diagnosis of this da**ed disease!! I'm glad you found this site though...there are catagories for family members/caregivers and for NSCLC. Those are generally where i post. Prayers for you to get to post under "good news"...and there is a "test time/result time" to keep everyone up to date. I've not found more understanding, loving people than i have on here! Welcome to our family!!!

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Welcome Bunny,

So sorry to hear about your mom. I am glad you made it to our site, it is a warm and comforting place.

We are here to help you with whatever you are going through, whether emotional or phyiscal. And you and your mom have just been added to the prayers over over 1000 people here.

There are so many categories on this site, and so many people needing support that it can seem overwhelming. But actually it is set up to be easily navigated for your specific needs or questions. It's great to be able to go directly to posts that are from people in similar situations as you, or posts concerned with specific questions you may be having. There is a general forum, that most people do go into and post general happenings, what's going on with them, and what they are feeling. I also go in family/caregiver forum quite often as there are usually lots of people who understand the unique feelings and emotions I am going through. I also recommend checking out the ask the experts forum. If you have any technical questions you can have them answered by a doctor online here as well as advice from others going through the same thing. There is also info on new treatments and alternative treatments. Finally, if you are interested in supporting others here, a good place to go is the inspiration/prayer forum. There are posts in there from people who are looking for prayers and support for things that are hard for them to bear alone.

Just to let you know a little about me, I am 35 and my husband who is 33 has Lung cancer. What you have described in your post seems so much like what I went through when Keith was first diagnosed. There was about a month where I couldn't do anything. I couldn't get it together enough to organize a simple task. At work, all I did all day was search the internet for positive survival stories and for treatment options (definitely didn't make employee of the month :lol: ). I would cry whenever I was alone, because I couldn't cry in front of Keith, I felt I had to be so strong but actually I was a weak mess inside. I was so scared, and even now I have moments where I am still really scared. My memory is not nearly as good as it used to be, and I am not nearly as organized and I have a lot of things I used to keep up on that I can't seem to handle anymore. I am so forgetful now, but then again, I have a lot more important things to keep track of now than I did before. But, this is all normal. And after getting into treatment and things; being proactive, it really helps. Things become bearable and almost normal.

Well, I've gone on for really long now, so I will end this by saying I wish you and your mom success with her surgery, and I will keep you both in my prayers.

Carleen

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