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stand4hope

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Hello everybody,

From some of your PMs, some of you thought maybe I was going to leave the board because of Don's death. I don't plan to do that, at least not for a while. I probably won't be as active as I used to - it just all feels so different now.

I'm doing pretty good. I've had several meltdowns, and in fact, our dear Snowflake helped me through one just two nights ago. I've been keeping very busy, so that has helped a lot. There's a lot of paperwork and things to do. I'm also going back to work Monday, so I think that will help, too.

I'm pampering myself with some major construction to our home. I'm most excited about a sunroom that I'm adding, and I bought the furniture for it today. Don wanted to do that, but he wanted to build it himself. He just never got well enough to do it. I'm not planning to leave our home. We have two adorable dogs that we both loved so much. I've had enough loss this past year, and I'm not going to lose my dogs, too - so we are staying!

I thought I'd share with you the letter our pastor read for me at Don's funeral. It will give you some insight into the kind of man he was. It's pretty long, so if you don't read it, that's ok. I just wanted to share it. I have also copied the one that Mike wrote that our pastor also read. I will copy them below my signature.

Thank you for all the many, many PMs, the cards, the donations to LCSC, but mostly for your love and devotion to all the members on this site. There just aren't very many people in this world as great as all of you.

Love to all,

Peggy

Here's are letters:

Mike's letter:

My dad wanted the best for me. I let him down many times. The last couple of years, he was not only my dad – we became friends. He always told me I could do better and saw what I was capable of. I am going to step up to the plate and make him very proud of me.

I had my dad’s initials tattooed on my back when he was diagnosed with cancer so that he would always be looking over my shoulder. After I had it done, he told me that now I was never going to get him off my back.

I’m really going to miss my dad.

Mike

Peggy's letter:

Thank you, Scott, Chris and Roberta. As I’m writing this, I haven’t yet heard what you said about Don, but I’m sure it was good and made us laugh and cry, too. Don frequently talked about you guys and so many of his friends at work. He shared a lot of funny stories, sad stories, and also would tell me whose butt he kicked on occasion. Many times Don would tell me what he said in management meetings, and my mouth would drop open wondering if we were going to be on the soup line the following week. Then, once a year, he would tell me he got “outstandings” and the most excellent marks at review time. I would shake my head in amazement. We were so different. He would confront anybody regardless of rank or title and never bat an eye, while I go to great lengths to avoid any kind of confrontation. For 37 years, I would calm him down, and he would encourage me to speak up. Don didn’t talk a lot, but when he did, he made sure that we all heard him. We definitely complemented each other. Opposites really do attract.

I’m writing this prior to this service, but I’m betting there aren’t very many dry eyes in this room. How can we not cry? On August 5, 2005, Mike lost his dad and I lost the only man I ever loved. Don’s family and my family lost the man who was always there to help each one of them through many crises in their lives. Many of you lost one of the best friends you ever had. He loved us. He loved you. If you are in this room, even if I don’t know you, I want you to know that I love you, too.

I can’t add much to everything that has already been said. I know that Don’s death happening because of a rare drug reaction is hard for us to accept, but I can assure you that it was all according to God’s plan.

You see, Don was not a good patient. He was a bad patient. He didn’t have time to be sick and he wasn’t about to take time to be sick. How many times did you hear him say he didn’t have time for this? He didn’t want to hear any of the details of his disease. He only wanted to know where he had to be for treatment, what he had to do to prepare, and what time he had to be there. He put it on his calendar and worked it into his schedule as if it was a routine meeting of the day. So for Don, becoming an invalid from his disease, although inevitable, was not an option. It just wasn’t going to happen. God knew that. God knew Don better than you or me, and loves him even more than we did. I believe that God knew that he had to take Don by surprise. There was no other way.

For the past thirty-seven years, Don took care of me. He took care of my every need and anticipated those needs before they happened. Even though I was never allowed to hover over him when he was sick, he certainly hovered over me every time I was sick. Through every surgery and every illness, he was there for me – and then some. The same is true for Mike. Nothing was more important to him than his family. Over the years, he could always be depended on to help my family through troubling times, his family, and many of you sitting in this room. I know that he was there for you when you were sick, needed help, or lost your loved ones. He was also there to celebrate your victories and share your sad times.

Don and I were married in 1967; I was 18 and he was 19. They said we were too young, we didn’t have enough money, and that it wouldn’t last. In the 70s, there was a weekly television show that we watched every single week. We loved the show and we loved the theme song. We frequently sang one short line of the chorus to each other. Most of you in this room will remember this show when you hear this song. It’s true that we were too young, and it’s true that we didn’t have enough money, but thank God they were wrong when they said it wouldn’t last. I’d like to share that song with you now.

(Song: I Got You Babe by Sonny & Cher)

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Welcome back Peggy. ((((PEGGY))))

Thank you for sharing Don with all of us. Your's and Mike's warm hearted stories of Don are just beautiful. I did not expect anything less then this from you. You have a beautiful gift with words, and your love shines through when you speak of your wonderful Don.

I am so very sorry for your loss Peggy. I hope we can help you heal in your time of need as time goes on.

God Bless,

Connie

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Peggy,

For you two, merely being able to say "I got you, babe" was enough. I am so glad that you made it through being too young and too poor and all those other judgmental calls. There's no such thing as too much when it comes to love and fun.

Take care, I'm here.

xxoo,

Becky

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Peggy...

Just step into my open arms here, and let me hug you.

That's all. You know what's in my heart and thoughts...and it's just nice to hear your voice again.

Your letter and Mike's were both just right. Just right, full of love and honest emotion.

I will look forward to your checking in here..whenever it feels right to you.

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Peggy,

I'm so happy to see you here. I remember all the paperwork and you know what, I still haven't finished it all! Pace yourself. I went back to work about a week after Jim was gone. Probably good for a distraction and to make me get out of bed - well, that and the dogs pestering me (sounds like you have those alarm clocks too).

Enough of that. It's just really nice to see you again.

Lynne

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Oh Peggy!

We welcome you back with open and loving arms. Thank you for returning. Your presence here is so needed by all of us.

We are here. Glad Snowflake could help you through your meltdown. Also good that you are keeping busy right now. The two letters were very heartwarming. I am sure the service was something very special for everybody.

Please hang around....at least for a while. We all love you, girl!

Warm (((HUGS))) to welcome you,

Kasey

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Peggy,

This place just isn't the same without you. It's so good to know you are near even if you don't always feel like coming just yet.

Thank you for sharing the beautiful letters you and Mike wrote in memory of Don. He was such a wonderful husband and father. Peggy you were so blessed as a family to have one another. It's good to hear you are building that sunroom that you both so wanted. It's good to know that you are doing so well in what must be the most difficult time of your life. By sharing and being here , you are giving strength to us. We need to know that you will be okay . We love you. Take care and come when you can.

Love and Prayers,

Sue

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Hi Peggy.

Thank you so much for sharing your letters with us. I learned more about Don from your letter, than all of the time that I have been here. Directly, it speaks of his character and love. I appreciate that you say the two of you were opposites and that you complemented each other.

Mike's letter was brief, yet speaks volumes. I will venture he is alot like his Dad. He sounds like he really loved his dad alot.

Please forgive me for not writing pm's to you after Don's shocking death. You were on my mind constantly. I was thinking about all of the letters and pm's and all of the business that unfortunately comes with the death of a spouse. I could imagine that you felt compelled to answer each of those notes; up into the wee hours of the morning making sure that the senders of those nots were okay. Right or wrong, that is what I was imagining. So. I did not pm you, knowing full well that God was being as gentle as He could with you and that you would come back to us. Also, I remember the widows and widowers who speak of the outpouring of support right after the death of a spouse.

Words can never say Peggy, what my heart says when it tells me that your loss of Don was profound.

I want you to know that I have been thinking about you and praying for you.

We/I will be here for you always.

love, cindi o'h

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Hi Peggy,

A big welcome back. You were really missed here. The addition to your house sounds awesome. Your dogs will love it, along with you and Mike.

The letters from yourself and Mike said so much about your Don. I know he was smiling down on you and loved the "I got you Babe" memory. He was such a wonderful person, who cared so much for others that he would put them first and foremost. And what a beautiful love you two shared. Priceless!! That is the best part and those memories, they will always be with you. You just have to touch your heart and that memory will be there. In that special place in your heart that is reserved just for Don.

You know Peggy, through all the post to you and Don, there was so many prayers sent. You supported us, we are here to return the favor. If you are having a bad day, let us help lift you up. Share your good ones too. Or you can talk about a memory. Anything, we care for you so much.

I was wondering how your dogs are doing without Don? I know all animals act differently. Some hang around more when you are sick, and some shy away

Please take care of yourself. You really deserve some peace now. But I don't know how much of that you will get with all that construction noice going on in your house. :shock:

Maryanne

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Welcome back, Peggy.

Thank you so much for sharing those letters. I feel like I know you, Don, and Mike better now. Your loss has an even greater impact on me.

Sending strength and caring thoughts to you and Mike. Please do keep in touch with us. You matter a great deal.

Leslie

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Peggy,

Your words were absolutely beautiful and quite a tribute to your husband. From one 18 year old bride to another, the song at the end really did me in. I mean, how perfect Peggy. I love it. I'm glad ya'll proved 'em wrong girlfriend.

Hope life starts to be kind to you again.

Love,

melaniem

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Dear Peggy, I've been waiting for your return. I didn't post a PM knowing that you would be overwhelmed. I loved the letters and could only think how truly lucky you were to have each other as your life partners. My pastor was once speaking of the death of a chlld and he reminded us that each person in our life is a special gift. There is no warranty on the amount of time we will have our special person, just the promise of a life time of cherished memories. You certainly have that. I'm glad you're staying in the house with the pups. I have three of my own and understand the comfort of their unconditional love and loyalty.

Peace and prayers,

Trish

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