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Oh, dear God, I miss her so.


mainecoon

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Margaret succumbed to lung cancer at 7:45 on Monday evening. She had come home to be with me, her two daughters, and her beloved cat. She was in the care of Hospice of Michigan, who provided basic medical equipment and nursing care. Yet, during the final hours, minutes and moments it was only the three of us holding her hands, stroking her arms, and kissing her brow. I sob uncontrollably when I think of those times, watching her panting her last few breaths. Now and then I would tell her that everything would be alright. She would open her eyes and ask me if anything was wrong. I would tell her it was fine and try to hide my sobs.

Margaret was my world, and I miss her so. It is as though her passing brought an end to all good things, and that the world will never again hold any pleasure because Margaret's not here to share it with me. I am crushed and devastated in a way I have never been before. My sweetheart is gone.

I know life goes on. Margaret frequently joked with me and said that once she's gone I'd find someone else who would see in me what she did. I told her that there is no one who has the same blend of wit, sense of humor, and kind forbearance as herself. That if anything ever happened to her I'd just live out my days as an old bachelor, dwelling upon sweet memories of her.

Hospice provides grief counseling to those who lose loved ones. I fully intend to take advantage of this, simply because I want to bear witness to how much I loved Margaret and how I miss her so.

There will be a remembrance service for her on Friday evening. I'm trying to cry myself out as much as possible before then, otherwise I will break down. Oh, dear God, I miss her so.

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Mainecoon, we are so sorry for your loss. We all know how difficult Friday's service will be for you and how hard it will be the next day when every one is gone. You have said that you are not a sensitive guy, perhaps that is what she saw in you even if you do try to hide it. We saw it in your posts. She said a few months ago don't worry she will be allright. I hope you will know that in a special way she will always be with you , all your shared memories will always be with you. I have read your doubts concerning an afterlife , I hope that she will send a message to you that she is painfree now and watching over you. Donna

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Mainecoon,

Reading your post just sent me into sobs. You were one of the husbands who spoke with my dad on the boards, and I believe that your interactions with him, although brief, brought much comfort. Thank you.

I am saddened to here of your beloved Margaret. I pray for peace and strength during the upcoming days and months ahead.

Laura

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Maincoone-

I am aching for you right now. I can only pray for your peace and comfort in your time of grief. Please accepts my truest sympathy for the passing of your beloved Margaret. She is in a better place now with the angels. Singing and laughing.

Rana

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Mainecoon, I know just how you are feeling right now. I lost my dear husband December 15th to SCLC. Somehow, it was easier for me when I would remember all of the suffering and then know that there was no more of that in store for Dennis. Maybe this can help you at some time. I know life seems extremely dark and dismal right now...but the sun will be brighter. Please accept my sympathy at the loss of your love and know that I am only a computer away if you ever need to chat with someone who has recently been there!

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I am so sorry for your loss. Margaret sounds like a strong, miraculous woman.

If I remember correctly, you mentioned that you were not a religious person, please forgive me if I remembered wrong. I'm about to go "religion" on you... In no way am I trying to be evangelistic, just trying to offer you some comfort. I feel that she is an angel watching over you now and is with you every day so anytime you feel a wind blow imagine it's her giving you a kiss. I don't know if you feel like me, but my biggest turmoil and fear that I have thought about is life after death and no purpose to life. Read this months Reader's Digest there's an article on life after death. I know I've question my faith quite a bit lately and reading that article gave me much comfort. It mentioned people that had near death experiences and they saw members of their family waiting for them on the other side...scientists are starting to belief there is a life after death. That article gave me great comfort knowing that there is a purpose and that we will see our love ones that have passed some day in the future. I offer strong condolences.

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Dear Mainecoon,

I am so sorry that you lost your sweetheart to this terriable disease.

I too feel that she can still be very close if you allow her to be. I am also one who doesn't believe in holding my emotions in you must express these without feeling bad about doing so. You are right about nobody ever replacing her in your heart, the two of your will always have the things you shared. You will always be able to feel the love that you have for each other. You mentioned that she had hospice care but they were not with you in the end. I believe that she wanted it to be just you and the girls. The three of you gave Margaret a beautiful gift in spending her finial minutes with her, always treasure that. I was blessed to be there when my mom left as well. It was sad yet beautiful in it's own way, she went so peacefully.

I pray the Lord will keep you close during these next few months and that you will get lots of support from those closest to you. I will also pray for the girls...... they need you as much as you need them.

Hugs, Shelly

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Thank you so much for your kind expressions of sympathy. They have brought me much comfort. These are hard times, but I know there are better to come.

When I am at the end of my days I will not fear death. I know I will see Margaret awaiting me, vibrant and smiling. And I will run to take her into my arms. Then we will be together in eternal springtime.

To me that will truly be paradise.

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