Ann Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 What is the biggest change from within that has resulted from you being a caregiver for a loved one with lung cancer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 I feel older. like I'm not a kid anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elkiesmom Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 I want to turn back the clock to 42 years ago and re start our journey as man and wife.I never felt that way before LC struck. Lorrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 I have started questioning my purpose in life Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 I have gained patience, as incredible as that seems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted January 18, 2006 Author Share Posted January 18, 2006 Although I have always believed in God, I guess I often forgot that He was in complete control of our lives. I used to think that bad things only happened to "other" people and that my little family would always be safe and together. After seeing Dennis suffer with this terrible disease and lose his battle, I have been reminded that God is the driver and I'm just along for the ride. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 The total and absolute profound sadness that you can feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trishnmiller Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 What is the biggest change from within that has resulted from you being a caregiver for a loved one with lung cancer? Life changes in a nanosecond and there is nothing we can do but accept it and move on. We aren't in control of our destinies now and we never were. All those times we said,"I know how you feel", we really didn't. Now we do. It is what it is. Trish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Learning that some things really are beyond my control. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fred Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Frustration that I cannot "fix it" for Kasey. Unable to take away the fear we now live with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted January 18, 2006 Share Posted January 18, 2006 Fred, My husband has the same feeling that you have. He can't fix it and he has a lot of fear and feels helpless. We just trust and believe... Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miami Janet Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 I definitely feel I aged a lot...also out of control...I like to run everything and I couldnt run this...Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 It is an incredible journey no one should have to go on, too many trial an tribulaltions. There is light at the end of the tunnel, when we thought we would never see it. Support from so many people was very overwhelming. I listen to my husband more and hold hands, snuggle and I am just so thankful everyday we share together. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppie Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 I definitely feel I aged a lot...also out of control...I like to run everything and I couldnt run this...Janet Me, too, Janet. Me too. My world is upside down. I have to say I find i wish for more time.....lots more time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdgmom6 Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 to many changes here's some; I'm not a cryer and I could fill an ocean, obsession about trying to find information on this disease, patience, the sense of feeling out of control, my head I always have a headache, but the biggest change is that I always thought that I could talk to my mother about anything and I can't seem to talk to her about this. We all know that it's there but we don't say anything. It kills me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma's kid Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 A broken heart Frustration that I have no control of what happens Emotionally drained Never knew I could worry so much I relate this question to the loss of my dad to colon cancer and now my mom is dealing with lung cancer...This time (isn't saying THAT a bi*ch) I have learned to *let go* a little better. Libby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LynneH Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 I now know you can physically FEEL this horribly deep, black, empty hole within your whole being, yet can smile back at the world and even appear normal to those that haven't been there. On a more positive note, things that used to irritate, have simply become little gnats of annoyance - unkind people, nasty drivers, dog vomit on the carpet, etc......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 I want to echo all of Lynne's. You are such a wise woman! For me... There are worse things in the world than deployments (which I anticipated to be my 'big hardship' for a while--now it's akin to one of those gnats... ok... maybe a cockroach. ) Sometimes getting up and putting one foot in front of the other, which has been my basic life strategy, is so much harder than it sounds... but somehow you do anyway. You can always find a way to put family first... People will never understand the way that I want them too... and I just have to deal with it. Little things like--foot rubs with lotion, or a bed bath, or clipping someone's toenails... those are ways to say, "I love you." And when you aren't able to do those things anymore... it aches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Material Gifts and things at holidays are so irrelevant compared to living for the day and Loving the ones you are with! People should take the time to think about their families and less about what to buy for somebody to show their love. Love foor today and Live for tomorrow I think is what I am trying to say here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimmek Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 I am not even close to the same person I was before Mom got sick. I was definetly still the "child" and now without even realizing it we have changed places. I have grown,become much more responsible,dependable and most of all I seem to have a purpose in life. I dont always like this purpose but it is a challenge to me to be the BEST caregiver in the world for my Mom. I am tired and exhausted and its been 19 months since there has been a day that i did not have to leave my house for some reason, there was a time i did not leave my house for 2 years.I dont even think about that anymore. Also I feel I have become a better mother to my own kids, or maybe its that my mom has stepped back due to her illness and let me be a mom to my kids. I could go for days with things that have changed in my life, and other than the actual lung cancer none of it is bad. I want to be no where else at this time and I am doing exactly what i want to be doing. Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elkiesmom Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Material Gifts and things at holidays are so irrelevant compared to living for the day and Loving the ones you are with! People should take the time to think about their families and less about what to buy for somebody to show their love. Love foor today and Live for tomorrow I think is what I am trying to say here. You said what I feel also but can't achieve.This xmas I didn't want to go overboard but Gary did. I had to go along. We need the family around us at this time but to do this we have to pay for their airfare or we would not see our daughter and family. It is so hard to balance money,family but it is so easy to love each other like you said today and live for tomorrow. I think so much about money now and it seems like we are spending more but to say no we can't do this at this time would make my husband feel like there is no hope.So many feelings I have about it seems everything and no one to talk to except this wonderful board. Lorrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irisheyes Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Cherish every moment...it is a gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natalie Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 That I can't "fix" everything. Not to sweat the small stuff. That I'm stronger than I thought. That the love my mom and I shared goes to the depth of my soul...it was then that I truly understood the meaning of what love is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 I don't think I will ever have peace of mind again now that I know all I know. Like Bunny, I feel I have aged. Not many other people in their early 30s think to have chest xrays, mamograms, etc. I no longer get upset about the small stuff, such as my boss screaming at is, it just doesn't matter. My goals in life have changed. I now know what is important. Basically I feel robbed and I don't like it How's that for whining? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted January 19, 2006 Share Posted January 19, 2006 Also, my choice of jewelry has changed. I MUST wear every day the Andrea B lung cancer bracelet; and another bracelet I have that says hope. It is like I have to wear something to support lung cancer on me all the time. I also enjoy wearing the LCSC t-shirt on weekends (despite how much my mom hates it on me), and I just ordred the LCSC sweatshirt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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