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We did not go to TN, Ken just wasn't up to it. Good thing since they had major snow, I've never driven in snow.

Friday night Ken had a bout of major pain in his abdomen. Sat. morning he woke up with a fever. I finally was able to get him to go to the ER. Thought maybe it was his gallbladder since his last scan said he had gallstones. They admitted him and did tests and basically said they thought it had to be his liver. The gastro dr. seemed stunned after seeing the scan. I had told him he had multiple tumors in the liver, but I don't think he was prepared for how extensive. I saw his last scan and there are just huge areas of tumors. They basically said there was nothing to be done. I told them we wanted to be discharged as quickly as possible. Of course he started running a fever again and the nurse seemed to think we should contact his dr. but I told her there wasn't anything to be done and we just wanted to go home.

It is really hard since Ken does not want to go into hospice. I think he feels that hospice will make things go faster. I am not going to push him until things get worse. He is having episodes of confusion and memory loss again. I know this is from the toxins building up. We are trying to arrange for our daughter and his daughter and son to all get down here in a couple of weeks at the same time. I am just not sure if that will be soon enough. I asked the gastro dr. how long he thought he had, but he said he never makes those kind of predictions. From my research I don't think it will be more than 3-4 weeks but there could be some kind of catastrophic failure, I just don't know.

I was so sad to read about Joel. I am so glad to hear that Fay is going home. It just made me so angry that she was trapped in that hospice. I hope she will be able to find the peace she so deserves. It has been very hard to read posts lately. Thank you to everyone for all your prayers and good wishes.

Karen H

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Karen -

All of you are in my prayers. I hope you are able to bring him home -- I will also pray that he is willing to sign up with hospice...as I think the support is amazing.

You have been through so much and have been such an amazing wife. I can't imagine you will ever have any regrets about the care or love you have shown your husband...seems like the only regret for all of us is that there is never enough time in the end.

Stay strong.


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I want to echo the posts about hospice. My husband entered the program in January, and I feel we are receiving the type of care we definitely need. The social worker, nurses, etc., have helped open up some points of communication and, of course, the pain treatment and twice weekly checks on his condition have done much to ease our minds.


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I'm so sorry things aren't working out better. Check your local hospice organizations - one near us had a program for people who were seriously ill and in need of help, but not ready to give up aggressive therapy. My mom actually stayed on that program to the end - her insurance was very good, so there was no financial reason to change.

If your insurance will cover it, home health care might help, also. You're in my prayers.

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Oh, Karen, I am feeling so sad for you. Doggone it, I just hate this!

Ken sounds like my mom. My mom wouldn't have anything to do with hospice and got madder than a snake anytime it was mentioned. You may recall a few posts about my mom - NOBODY - EVER - not EVER, told my mom what to do - NOBODY! On her last day in the hospital, she was no longer talking and was pretty out of it from the medication, so they were making arrangements to move her to hospice. She died while we were waiting for the ambulance to come and get her. I know without a doubt - absolutely without a doubt - that she was going to do it HER way and nobody else's.

Don said it was because she still had hope and in my mom's mind, hospice meant no hope. She wasn't about to give up. Maybe that's why Ken is resistent to their help.

Anyway, Karen, I am right there with you holding your hand. You can cry on my "virtual" shoulder, and Lynne will send you one of her "virtual" comfy warm towels.

Love and hugs,


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