paulygirl Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 Well, Dad came home, it will be two weeks this Monday. He's still fighting even after the doctors telling us his prognosis was "days". He is home with help from hospice. Its been so hard. Im so glad he's in his own home, yet, I feel so terrible at the same time. You see, Dad keeps talking about getting better, he is totally bedbound, very weak, needs feeding, washing, is catheterized, etc...He's wasting away. I want so badly for some great cure to come along and build him up, bring him back, make him better. Does he even know he's leaving us? Is he protecting us? Is he really fighting? What more can we do but love him? This has been so very hard. The family is under tremendouse stress, there have already been little spats out of stress.I still cant get over how just a few short months ago my daddy was this vital, healthy man, and now...I just want it to stop...get better. Is it selfish of me to want him to stay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michelepal Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 I'm so sorry that you and your Family have to deal with this,I know how hard it is and it just stinks.. The loss of my Dad has changed my life forever and I know I'm not the same person anymore but theres nothing I could do to change what happen. So on that note my advice to you would be to spend every chance you get with your Dad and let him know that you Love him.. Stay Strong and close to your Family don't let the stress cause any hard feeling.. Love, Michele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 No, it is not selfish for you to want him to stay. All you can do now is to share your love with him, share memories, and make each moment count. Blessings. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 Just hang in there and be with your dad. It might be that his talk of getting better and all is the way he copes. It is good that you have hospice to help now. Don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 Just be there for him, talking about the best times you shared, and let him dream of getting better, that may be the way he is feeling now, home with his family around. Make every day count for him and for you. Hugs Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adela Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 It is not unusual for him to say he will get better. The stress is hard on the family. Seek some guidance from Hospice on what is say to your father. It could help you. Sit with him.......and hold his hand and tell him you love him. My thoughts are with you and your family. Adela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 I am very sorry to hear of your Dad's condition I can not imagine what you and your family are going through. I pray God sees you through this ordeal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 If it is meant to be that your Dad will get his strength back, then he will. But, if he this is truly the end, then he cannot rebound on his own. Keeping him comfortable and content (unagitated) is best. Keep loving him as you do and enjoy each moment that is yours to cherish. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Everybody has said just about all there is to say. All great advice. Enjoy every moment together you can. Your dad will get better by the healing grace of god. I know this sounds morbid or defeatist but it is true. At some point this has to be accepted I feel. DEb told me 2 weeks before she passed that if she saw the light she was going towards it and it wsa nothing against me or anyone she knew. She knew I think her time was coming and wanted to accept it when it happened. God Ot Hue as she knew him had a plan for her and she too it. The Hue is a long story and a little broader than mainstream. Eck religion if there is anyone that studies this. Won't go into it but it helped her a great deal. I will say prayers for much peace for you and your family and pray for better news next time you post about Dad. wishing you and Family a peaceful Easter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jduenges Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 No, it is not selfish of you. You love your Dad. It is so difficult to see this terrible disease do this to your Dad and you just want it to stop(I KNOW!) Just like everyone has said, the most important thing to do now is be with your Dad and tell him you love him. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 I am so sorry to hear about your dad. It is not selfish to want him to stay, it is love. I don't think there is a single person here who would not want more time with their loved one going through this. For those who've lost their loved ones, they would give just about anything for even one more day. For those like me, I will never be ready to say goodbye, that is just the nature of love. There is no such thing as being prepared for it, that is just a myth. I will be praying for you and your father. I pray every day for God to inspire some researcher out there for a cure for us all. I pray for God to give us miracles and cure those we love. I pray that God bring comfort to our loved ones, and bring all our hearts to peace. God Bless You! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Im so sorry for all you are going through. It is not selfish for the way you are feeling. That is your dad, the one who has always been there for you. He was your strength and to see him like this is devestating. Hospice should be a trememdous help for him and you. They will make him comfortable and pain free. My heart goes out to you. You are a wonderful daughter and he loves you so much. I can only ditto what other people have said on here, just be there with him as much as you can. I so pray that there is a change for him for the better but if not than for him to be at peace. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyanne Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 I am so sorry. You are not selfish to want him to stay -- I remember that feeling. All you can do is love him and make sure he is comfortable. If he seems at all agitated, make sure hospice gives him xanax or something. As you know, God may have other plans for him...know that you are a fantastic daughter and that this will probably be the most difficult thing you will go through. I remember those days and my heart breaks for you. Prayers for strength ane peace of mind. Love, Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Just chiming in my support. I agree with allthat has been said, and I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. I will pray for strength and peace for you and your dad. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulygirl Posted April 17, 2006 Author Share Posted April 17, 2006 Thankyou again for your kind replies. We had a nice Easter yesterday with Dad. He ate quite a bit and was thrilled to have his family all around him. Last night and today he's quite "pooped". Its hard also because there are days when it looks like he's really going to beat this thing, and others well...they don't look so great. I have to remember its not in my hands, but, one can still pray and wish, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 God hears our prayers and answers them in His time not ours. What Randy said is so true. The plans for our future are predetermined and we have no control over that. Your father is a strong man and I pray that his time here on earth will be lengthened by our Lord. I pray that your father gains strength each day! Please keep us posted. Hod Bless and prayers, karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mskim Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 I'm so sorry. My mom still talks of cures as well. Even with this radiation when they looked at her and said, this will nto cure you this will only make you more comfortable. It must be a coping mechanism. I pray for you and your family to have strength to come together in the coming days and that your time with your Dad carries some sweet moments... it seems that illness and death brings out the best AND the worst in us. You are truly in my heart and prayers. Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SLT Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 I can't totally relate to your post. My Dad was such a vital and strong man busy playing sports and arguing about politics. Now, he's so weak he can hardly move about the house and he's so medicated he can hardly hold a conversation anymore. It's really hard to see. We all want our loved ones to stay with us and keep fighting. I'm glad you all had a nice Easter together with your Dad and try and create as many memories as possible. Take care, Sherri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindy0519 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Another daughter with the ability to really relate to your post! I definately feel your pain and join your in your stuggles! For me as well, the hardest part of this "battle" is watching my Dad go from the man that he was to the shadow of himself that he has become. He is so wracked with pain,that while I too want him to be here for a very long time to come, I see how much this disease is taking from him and from our family and I wonder how much longer he can continue to "fight". Though somehow to amazement he continues to fight each and every day and I thank God that he does! Praying for your family and all the many others that fight this fight so valiantly....may we all find peace and comfort!!! Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ztweb Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 You are not selfish at all...just normal! We look to our parents as the rock...they have always been the ones we turn to...and I am sure you did the same. Continue your prayers, and know that you are doing everything you can, and that your feelings are so appropriate...God bless you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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