melindasue37 Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 I never realized what this disease would finally do to my Mom. God, it hurts so bad to see her like this. She can no longer get out of bed. She is so weak. She doesn't even have the strength to suck anything out of a straw. The hospice nurse is coming in tomorrow so hopefully she will have some ideas of something that we can do. I always feel like there is something I should be doing, saying. I just don't know what. I'm back at home this week. I took my two children to see her this past weekend which was nice. I have lost all hope and am so numb I can't seem to cry. I try to get the thought of her leaving this world out of my mind but it pops into my mind within seconds and hits me like a brick emotionally. My older sister is there with my stepdad helping take care of her. I just got off the phone with her and she said this has been the worst day so far. My Mom is getting very irritable and her mind is going. I talked with her on the phone for a few seconds to tell her I loved her and she started talking about something I couldn't understand. My sister told me that she couldn't remember her name during the day today. She doesn't like taking medication so I know it isn't the drugs making her talk such jibberish. My sister told me that when she does get some of the Ativan in her (you can't tell her she is taking it) that it calms her down a little bit. She still is fighting and hasn't given up. She keeps saying she has to get better. I don't know if she will ever let us tell her how much we are going to miss her. I'm heading down on Friday to spend the long weekend with her. I hope this week goes by quickly. Warm Hugs, Melinda Quote
kamataca Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Oh, Melinda, You have always been so positive on this journey, and I know this must be tearing you up. I am so sorry that things are so hard right now. Please take good care of yourself, and know that I am praying for you and your mom. Kelly Quote
Andrea Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 I am so sorry Sending good thoughts your way Quote
mamasbabygirl Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 (((Melinda)))) I am sorry and I understand. I can't imagine life without my mama either. Quote
ztweb Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Oh Miss Melinda, I am so sad to read your post. Don't give up hope, as God works in mysterious ways. Please know you have my warm hugs, and that I am praying for you. Dear God, please bless Melinda and her family your gentle peace. Please guide them through this part of the journey, and may you grant them renewed strength. Hugs, Jen Quote
Kasey Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 I just don't have the words to help you, Melinda. I am just so very sorry this journey has taken this direction for you dear Mother. I will pray for comfort for your whole family. Please remember to keep us posted when you can. So many of us care deeply for you and want to help prop you up during this difficult time. Kasey Quote
hollyanne Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Melinda - I wish I could give you some comfort. Your mom doesn't seem to be in pain (right?) which is a huge blessing. The jibberish is part of the process as the body starts to slow down.....I just talked to to my mom's hospice nurse who is now when of my best friends..Deb said that ativan should be the goal. You don't want your mom to be agitated or nervous...her body and mind are coming to terms with what what is going on. Melinda, you WILL make it through all of this. My heart is breaking for you as I remember the panic and the "please make this all stop" feeling that is overwhelming. I remember being scared to wake up and get out of bed (the times when I slept.) You can't control this...what you can do is make sure that everything you have ever wanted to say is said. I pray so hard that you and your family and of course your mom will have peace and strength in the coming days and weeks. I am sick for you. Just take each minute as it comes. Love, Holly Quote
NancyT Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Oh Melinda, This is so very hard, my heart goes out to you, your Mom and family right now. Sending prayers NancyT Quote
ErinC1973 Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Melinda, It's so hard. I am actually glad we didn't go through this with my mom from LC, because when my dad was dying from LC, the brain mets made him agitated, he didn't remember us (and this tore my mom apart) and he was beaten down from an intelligent, brilliant man, to really nothing more than a helpless child...a shell of himself. The thought of living your life without your mom is too much to bear right now, so like Holly said, try to take it one minute at a time. And again, I am here for you if you need anything. I can get a sitter faily quickly to be there to help if you need me. Quote
Sheri Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Melinda, Enjoy your weekend with her. I haven't gotten to the really painful part of losing a parent at a young age yet, but I can empathize anticipating what is to come for my Dad. This is a hideous disease, we can research, look for clinical trials and new advances but we always have that black cloud above us. I'll keep you guys in my prayers too. Relax and be natural with your Mom, your words will come. She loves you so as you do her. Quote
Raindog Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Melinda, Enjoy the weekend with your Mom. I pray that it passes as slowly as the week leading up to it Wishing you and your family the very best, -Rod Quote
MsC1210 Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Melinda Please know you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Chris Quote
MilliBr1 Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Melinda, I am so sorry. I know how hard this is, you and your family are in my prayers. Quote
ginnyde Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Melinda, no words. I offer you a cyber hug and prayers that your Mother will be comfortable and at peace. Quote
cmrsm Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Melinda, I am so sorry for what you are dealing with. Remember the love and the good times it will help you through what is to come. It is not easy, but keep strong for your mother and your family. At least your mother's pain and suffering will end. I know how your feeling, i recently lost my father and it is painful, but at least you can tell your mother you love her and goodbye, my father died unexpectedly from this disease and I never had the chance to say I love you and good bye. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family during these very difficult times. God Bless Quote
Linda661 Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 It's times like this that I just come up at a loss for words -- My thoughts and prayers are with you. Quote
lynda8716 Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Mom, I, too never thought this disease would get the best of my Mom. She has always been a fighter and hasn’t had the easiest of lives. My mom is under Hospice care as well although she still manages to get around on her own right now. She is very weak because she isn’t eating much. I don’t know what to say to my Mom either. My mother keeps telling me that God will take her when he wants to take her and not a minute before. I just don’t want her to leave. I am trying to be strong as are you but it’s not easy, especially when her son and two friends say they think “this is the week.” Not very encouraging. My thoughts are with you. - Lynda Quote
marym Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Melinda, I'm so sorry to hear how things are now. My prayers are with you. Mary Quote
Mskim Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 I'm sorry, I hope you get the chance to hold her hand and tell her all you need to. You are in my prayers. Kim Quote
ma's kid Posted August 30, 2006 Posted August 30, 2006 Melinda, Gentle hugs and prayers..I am so sorry and I know how this hurts. Love, Libby Quote
adela Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 Melinda I am so sorry that you have arrived at this part of your journey. Adela Quote
tatlyn Posted August 31, 2006 Posted August 31, 2006 (((Melinda))). Many prayers for peace and comfort. Lynda Quote
bunny Posted September 3, 2006 Posted September 3, 2006 I hate to read this Melinda. I fear I haven't been much of a friend to you here of late. I hope you know that you are never far from my thoughts, as a kindred soul just trying to care for her mom as best could - and you have! So well. Prayers and love, as always. Amie Quote
Maryanne Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 Melinda, I am so sorry that it broke my heart to read your post. I wish there was something I could do to ease the pain you are going through watching your mom and knowing that it has come to this. I pray that she is not suffering and is made comfortable. We are here for you to help you through this. I am so sorry, you mom is one heck of a fighter. She never gave up and is still fighting. Prayers sent. Maryanne Quote
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