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Thanks for Being Here


Kasey

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I have no idea of exactly where to post this...........so felt maybe it would be apppropriate for here.

I have been away all this week..........SUPPOSEDLY having a good time with 'friends' at the beach. These are the gals that are 'fun friends'. We don't talk about cancer. We didn't talk about the Boston Walk. They did not ask when I go for my 3 month checkup (which is Monday - Wednesday), they pretend I can keep up and carry my own heavy suitcase. So as I was spending this quality time away, Fred would update me each day as to the status of things on this site.

Needless to say, I was just overcome with emotion time after time. All I wanted to do was be here to post and cry, to grieve with all of you. I wanted to be supporting those who had losses. I wanted to be supported by all of you. When hearing about Lucie, I just wept..........but it had to be done quietly. I heard one of the gals say to another........someone named Lucie........guess it is bad news. You know when I hung up, no one asked a thing about that. There are 4 of them BTW.

So I come here today in frustration. To the many newbies who have joined us this week ~ WELCOME to the only place for you to be for support. To those who have experienced loss ~ I weep with you. To those who have received less than stellar reports ~ we are all here to support you.

I try to stay away, but cannot. This group of people is made up of true heroes. You are my friends. You are my family. You understand. This is where I wanted to be all week..........this week especially.

September 20 I celebrated 2 years of survivorship. I mentioned this to the one gal I thought may offer encouragement. She shrugged and said something like.....well, how about that.....in a rather flat tone. I wanted to hear the cheers of all of you here who understand the magnitude of a statement such as that.

So we are all here to help each other bear the burdens, share the sorrows, support the struggling, encourage the newcomers, and celebrate every victory ~ no matter how minor it may appear to be to others.

Thank you, ALL, for being who you are, for being here for me.

Love,

Kasey

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Kasey -

I love you, I really do. The reason I stay on the board is for the exact reasons you just explained. For women/girls going through this with their moms, I do understand -- the way Val and Kelly and Loi understood when I was going through it...and reached out to me. My friends were as supportive as they could be, but really didn't know what to do -- didn't understand scans or staging or whatever.

This week has been so brutal for this board - I don't understand why it comes in waves....

Thank you for being Kasey.

Love,

Holly

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Kasey, congratulations on your two years, and may you have many, many more. We are family. We understand. Those who have not been touched with cancer don't understand and they live in an unreal world where everything is about good times. We live in the real world, and are richer for it. I pity them. Don

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Kasey,

Don is so right, even though at times it is hard to not to envy the blissful ignorance pre-cancer. You are a beautiful woman, and every day I thank God for bringing me to this place, this place where people DO understand. They who shed tears, share joys, and live outside of the bubble.

Blessings to you Kasey!

Jen

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2 WHOLE YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WWWWOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol::):D:lol:8):wink::wink::!::!::!::mrgreen::mrgreen: That is terriffic!! Heres to many many many more ahead. Oh yeah!!, to those that go thats nice, I say :P:P:P Blessings, Prayers, Hugs and Much love to you and Fred And Family. Hope you had a little enjoyment at the Beach!!!!

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Fantasic news that you've reached the two year mark, you sure have shown those first drs a few things about not dying on schedule!

As to the ignorant people you went away with, what a shame that they are so shallow but what good fortune for them that they found each other.

We're here for you m'dear you know that, we understand you in a way that those "others" never will.

Glad you're home, good luck for NIH.

love

Geri

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Welcome back Kasey, you were missed. I think we all understand what you mean...I have told people on this board things my closest girlfriends don't know. Congratulations on your two year mark-- I am going out to celebrate for you. :lol: Ok, so I was going anyway...but I will toast your anniversary.

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Welcome back kasey! And congratulations on 2 years. that is FANTASTIC woo-hooing news!! I wish I were there to celebrate it with you!

You've shown all those who thought it couldn't be done, and you inspire everyone here.

I could really relate to your post about those on the "outside" not understanding- even our "closest" friends.

This place if full of those who do and who will always be here for you.

thank you for this wonderful post reminding us of how lucky we are to have each other!

Hugs,

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Kasey,

Any chance your "fun friends" are waiting to take their cue from you regarding talking about cancer? Maybe they believe that you prefer the escapism of the time away without mention of rechecks and apppointments and scans. Or, maybe they are really uncomfortable talking about this stuff, in which case, you gotta find some new friends who ARE ok with it. But it is hard for some people to express what they want to say or to let YOU say, and in the end, no one says anything.

I am so happy for you for your 2 years of survivorship! Huge milestone in my book, and I think it calls for Cindy to open the pub!

So, What'll you have?

~Karen

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Kasey so glad to see your post and happy you are back. I know your "fun" friends don't share your experience with "life and death, and cancer" but I do hope you had some fun on your get away.

Since I had lung cancer I think I am so happy I survived I tend to look for fun every day. I am a nurse and I wear a happy face full of bubbles around my neck at work to celebrate with. There are lots of things to celebrate- when the "wind blows" after surgery, the fever is down, the BP in normal etc. or my patient has a little one come to visit. Fun is good for you. Yes, there are sad things too but as "MY STORY" is called after you go through the valley, and start up the mountain the view is wonderful. Please feel my hug. (((Kasey))) so happy you are celebrating 2 years of survival

Your Friend, Donna G

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(((((Kasey))))) I missed you... and I worried about you when all this bad news came down. I wasn't sure that those 'fun friends' would get it.

We DO get it, and we love you and I am SO PUMPED that you've hit two years... Now here comes another holiday season, another snowy season, and then MORE FLOWERS.

Love you, and thank YOU for being here too.

Val

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Hey Kasey,

Congratulations on your two year mark! That is truly fantastic!

As for your friends, I don't know, maybe they are or were so scared for you they really don't want to and can't talk about it.

I just found out today that someone we had been hanging around with all summer did not know I had cancer even once, not to mention twice. I just assumed she had been told at another time by one of our mutual friends, but no one ever mentioned it.

In a way I'm glad that they don't all look at me as 'the one that has cancer', and they just see me as their friend Cindy.

I think they don't get it either, because they've not been in our shoes, but I do know for an absolute fact, that, although they say nothing, they are just as scared as I am over my scans at my scan time and worry about it till they hear from me that everything is ok.

I'm just rambling here now, but I think sometimes that those people we care about would rather just carry on as if none of this ever happened, and it doesn't mean they don't want to understand, they just can't because it hasn't happened to them.

Anyway, I'm really glad you got the all clear on the two year mark, and that's coming from someone who's been there!!!!!

Cindy

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Kasey--

Congrats on your 2 years of survivorship. We understand the significance of that accomplishment.

As you know, this is a very special place, full of special people who share a special bond. Many will never understand but we always will and will be here for you just as you will be here for us.

Glad to have you back.

gail p-m

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Kasey, I'm happy for your friends that they don't understand what this is all about... and sad for you that they don't seem to be trying to understand.

There seem to be few people who know how to be a good friend to someone going through this (and I'm not even a patient saying this, "just" a family member!). And those who DO know -- or at least ASK -- how to be supportive are golden.

I'm starting to think schools should teach people about how to act around people who have life-threatening diseases and/or family members who have loved ones who are seriously ill or have lost loved ones. So few people get it, and I'm sure they're more ignorant than actually as unfeeling as they can seem! Also, they need to teach what "in remission" means -- It doesn't mean you can stop being concerned or worrying; it doesn't mean, "whew, at least THAT's over!"

Anyway, I'm THRILLED about your two-year mark, and thrilled that you're a member of this community. I think you picked the perfect forum to post in -- You are an inspiration to me!

Hugs,

BeckyCW

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Kasey,

Congratulations on your 2 year mark!! Who woulda thunk, huh? :lol:

Try not to be too harsh on your friends because their focus is not on cancer like ours is. I have found personally that I don't give people off the board credit sometimes. When they don't mention my cancer, or act like they want to ignore it, I follow THEIR lead and treat it like a secret. It is up to ME to enlighten them and sometimes the uncomfortability of how I expect them to behave causes me to not go there. But friends/co-workers don't know how to act sometimes so avoid it, I think that's just human nature. (I know there are people at work who have lost a son or daughter, and to be perfectly honest, I don't know how to handle it. Do I bring it up, do I not bring it up? So I think I understand how people feel around us.)

All that said, I shed some tears the other day at work when I read the board and of course, did not tell anyone there what was going on. I think sometimes its a matter of trying to explain the emotional ties of an online support group, and our online friends, more than even the cancer. People just look at you with an arched eyebrow- they don't understand the bonds that we form and how BIG a role our cancer plays in our lives still and how only people that have been there can truly relate.

Anyway, I am sorry that you were out of touch with us during such a painful week. But am very glad your back and again, a big woo hoo to you!!!

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Kasey,

You have really made a statement with this post..and you are so right. How can we ever explain to others how it feels to have somewhere to come to and know that everyone is behind us...that they understand...that they know exactly what we are going through without having to explain it all in detail.

I usually don't get online over the weekend, but when I get to work on Monday morning this is the first place I come to. I look forward to good news posts and am so afraid to open others....knowing that heaven has gained another angel. This really has been a brutal few weeks, but we are all here for each other. We are very lucky for that.

Congratulations Kasey....2 years...WOW!!

And welcome back :D

Warm Hugs,

Melinda

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Kasey I did not realize it was two years already.

A BIG CONTRATS ON THAT MILSTONE :mrgreen:

You are so special here as your presence is solely missed when you are not around.

Try not to be too hard on your friends, they just do not understand and are just oblivious to what is going on. Unforuntely, one day they might find themselves in that predicament or a care taker. Nobody is immuned.

But I know it does hurt as you would have liked them to give you some kind of recongnition that you are still here with them and you are alive!

We love you here. We high five you.

This has been a very difficult week, and now our Antonette has left us.

But we carry on and help each other as we are survivors. We help our newbies and give them the confindence they need that this thing can be beat that they have to fight this, and they should as our Rich always says "NEVER GIVE UP"

We missed you too, but you still have a life outside here and there are times you need that break, to enjoy life and go places. Never feel guilty that you were not here when we lose a member as your presence is always felt here.

What would we do without our angels, Katie and Rick, they are a blessing to us all!

Love ya,

Maryanne :wink:

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