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I want to thank all of you for being there for me...

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I don't think I can eloquently put into words the love and gratitude that I have for all of you during this heartbreaking time for me and my girls.

I am so very heartbroken now, it is such a struggle to even type these words. I know it is all so new, but I still am in total disbelief.

Carlton is gone, and there are moments when it doesn't feel that way and than bam! reality sets in, he is gone and isn't coming back ever!

I've done the phone calls - the ones that needed to know, the arrangements, and now all the endless paperwork to get my family going again, it is a challenge, but I must keep going for the girls and myself

The girls went back to school today, they wanted to, I think it is very important to try to get back to their "regular" life - school, activities, homework, chores...but I think my breaking down is making them worse, so I come here and hide my sorrow

But to go back to my orginal thought, to all of you, the prayers, the good thoughts, the comforting words, the "virtual" hugs and holding of hands helped me through these past few weeks.

I knew that eventually Carlton would die from this, but I wasn't prepared in the way that he did, I guess I thought he would slowly go downhill, that we would have the time to say our final goodbyes, and I love you, that I would be with him till his last breath. But it wasn't meant to be.

I still need you all, it is so lonely and painful, I will come back, I want to talk and I hope that others will be here to continue to help me get through this awful time in my life.

My love to you all..


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I understand what you are going through. I didn't get to say goodbye either. It was just such a shock. As you said, you do paperwork because you have to, but it still doesn't seem real that he's gone.

Come here to let it out anytime. You can PM me anytime. I care and send my love to you and the girls. Take it one day at a time.

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My heart has broken for you and your family with each post I read. You have been in my thoughts so much through this time. I can't begin to know what you're going through, but I know there are many kind souls here who know it all too well.

Although your posts were filled with devastating news, the grace and strength with which you handled it shone through. You know what I remember most? When you relayed the story that your neighbor told you about Carlton leaving so early for work so he could be home to spend time with his girls. Seeing his picture and hearing that simple story said so much about him and your family. I'm so sorry.

May God grant you peace and comfort.

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Grace, I hope in the days to come that you can find comfort from all of your friends here. This group of people is absolutely wonderful. It is so hard that you lost Carlton the way you did - but it happened and you cannot regret the time you had as I am sure that they were good days. Heather

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I'm so glad you were able to come here to share some of your burden. I know nothing will make it lighter. I hope the knowledge that you are loved by so many here may help you get through the upcoming days. In some small way we are all connected and a part of each others struggles and losses. Please continue to share with us -- you know we are always here. My heart is breaking for you. I'm so very sorry.

Much love and prayers for you and the girls.


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Any time you need to be here, Be here. I know the Pain you are feeling right now. YOu ahve been here for us so much, Let us return the favor now. this is a hard road to travel but we do it.

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Grace, you are so loved on this board. I think all of our hearts completely went out to you and the girls during Carlton's illness. Supporting each other is what we seem to do best. I know, all too well, what you are feeling right now. Just remember that although there is a ton of stuff that needs to be taken care of, nothing has to be done at any particular time. Just do things as you feel you can and concentrate on taking care of yourself. I think it's good that the girls are back in school. In addition to being good for them, it gives you some time to grieve without worrying about upsetting them.

Please remember that we are here for you. It's been four years since I lost Dennis and I still come here when I need friends that understand.

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(((((((( LOVE )))))))) You!!

Here's a poem that always comforts me when I think of my father. (Heart Disease 2001, 56 years young)Maybe it will comfort you too.

I am standing on the seashore.

A ship and her Captain appear, the Captain spreads the white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean.

I stand watching him until they fade away on the horizon,

and someone at my side says,

"He is gone."

Gone where?

Gone from my sight, that is all.

He is just as large as when I saw him last. The diminished size and loss of sight is in me, not him.

And just at that moment when someone at my side says "He is gone." There are others who are watching him coming and voices take up the joyful shout, "HERE COMES CARLTON!!!!"

The heaven's rejoice at his presence.

May God bless and cmfort you and your family.

Beat it!!

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