Flowergirlie Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 It never gets easier! I am suffering watching my husband suffer so much everyday. Well, he is sleeping most of the time now. I am not sure if it is time but it seems like it. I had a dream that it is time...we are only one week away from the onset of the trip he wanted to take as his "parting cup" and it doesn't look like he is going to make it. He wanted to take the kids on this one last adventure, even if he had to be in a severely altered state to manage. He is not eating anymore. Last night he blamed me for all of his weight loss, told me he hated and resented me for doing such a bad job of taking care of him and for starving him. I have tried so hard to take care of him. I have tried to be by his side through this whole thing. I wanted more than anything to take this all away but I couldn't. I wanted to ease his pain but it was too great. I have invested so much time into getting ready for this trip, per his wishes, and now he has turned my being away to make preparations as abandoning him. It crushes my soul! It was his last wish and I was just trying to make it happen for him. This is hard on me too. He said I am the lucky one because I get to live, I don't have to die and I told him that it is hard for me to have to live without him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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