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Nothing like waiting until the Last Minute


Carleen

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I know this is awfully short notice, but I could really use some prayers on my side today.

Keith is going in for his first CT scan since starting treatment. This will determine whether it's working, and what we try, and where we go from here. In fact, he's at the doctor's office as I type this.

I didn't think this would be so stressful, because we won't find out the results until the 19th. I figured I'd need prayers then. However, I find that I can't stop thinking about it, and worrying. I know it's just the scan procedure, but I am scared and really want more than anything for it to show improvement. I am so scared, I can barely breathe, my whole body is tense and anxious. So, I am asking for prayers now too.

Thank You,

Carleen

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Dear Carleen,

As hard as it might be to do, try not to worry yourself sick for the next 6 days, because all that worrying will just wear you out, and it has no impact on the scan results. Try and take a deep breath, tell yourself you'll give this worry thing 10 more minutes - at the end of that 10 minutes NO MORE WORRYING ALLOWED! You must concentrate on something else - anything, just not cancer. Please try this, sometimes it works well for me. I'm praying for you both.

Joanie

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Carleen-

I am here praying right now for you to have some peace. Please be positive, and I am praying for positive results REALLY HARD right now. I know God hears us. You are a strong woman, and can do it. I know you always feel tense at the times when the tests are done, but try to think about other things until then. I will continue to pray for you and Keith.

(((((Carleen))))) (((((Keith)))))

Hugs for you and Keith

Rana

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Carleen:

I know exactly how you are feeling right now. Howard and I were in his physician's office waiting to hear how all the tests turned out. I think the doctor was talking to Howard, but looking at me. He thought I was going to faint right then and there!

Since that time I have turned everything over to God and realized all along He was in charge. I'm not saying that I don't get a little anxious when the "scan time" gets here, but then I realize that there is nothing I can do about it. Howard told me that when he has to go in for the scans he worries about me, not the result of the scans. When I heard that I knew I had to gather all the strength I could to make sure he didn't worry about anything.

You have come to the right place for support! Without this website I don't think I would have been able to get this far!

Bonnie

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Dear Sweet Carleen,

I understand your worry soooo much. I pray that God lifts it from you right now.....

I heard one time that God is a "lamp unto our feet", not a train headlight that shows miles ahead. We can only see one step at a time with His light. So do give it to God dear.

Blessings to you,

Peg

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Carleen-

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Easier said than done...but keep yourself busy for the next six days with gardening, cleaning, whatever works for you. If your husband is feeling up to it, maybe you can get away for a couple of days?

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Carleen, I will be sending many many prayers your way. I know it is easier said than done, but please try not to worry. Worrying ends up wasting time that could be better spent. You also don't want to make yourself sick. I will continue my prayers for you...you are in my thoughts.

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Thank you all for the kind words and prayers.

I knew I could always count on my LCSC family to make me feel more at ease. I'm trying to put this aside for the next 6 days, but it's hard. I know the hospital has the results already, but won't tell us over the phone, and that makes it even more painful to wait through.

It was unrational of me to worry so over the scanning process. But who ever said that we are logical and rational people while we go through this nightmare. I just responded to what I felt, and you all have come to my rescue. For this, I am eternally grateful.

Thanks,

Carleen

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I am praying for things to turn out positive for you. Stay strong and know that the prayers from this group can spawn miracles for us and our loved ones. In my short time with all of you I have felt your strength and seen the results of your prayers. It is hard Carleen to wait but enjoy each day to its fullest and try to ignore time. Time will pass no matter if we worry or not...YOU CAN DO THIS BECAUSE YOU are strong and many prayers are being said on your behalf....hugs

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Carleen -

Tense about tests? What's the matter with you? (just kidding - we've all been through it!)

Story for you - my last CT was about six days prior to my doctors appointment as well. Was I stressed out? No! I went to work, been busy with family and all - no one THOUGHT I was stressed out.....little did they know until the final day because I was in so much pain, that I had been sub-conciously sucking on my tongue, resulting in lovely sores on each side of my tongue, and my teeth were killing me from grinding them at night while I slept! So I guess I'm not as tough as I thought - just hid it well!!!! Probably would have been better off to come here and TALK about it like you did!

But I'd do it all again for the great report I got back - and I'm hoping for the same for Keith!

Hugs and prayers,

SandyS

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Dear Carleen,

I have been thinking of you and hope that you are able to get through the next few days without feeling overwhelming stress. I've been there, done that and it can be awful to go through the waiting period after scans.

I have been dealing with my cancer with all of its ups and downs, disappointments and heartache for 2 years now. I absolutely hate getting these scans and going to the doctor. It takes all of my courage and psychic energy just to present myself for procedures and check-ups now.

A few weeks ago, I had a biopsy on a suspicious abdominal lump. I wasn't going to be finding out for awhile whether or not the lump was malignant. My husband had to go to Mexico on business and I was at home alone for a week with this info in the back of my mind. You know what? I enjoyed my week.

It's gotten to the point now that if I don't have a doctor's appointment or a scan scheduled, it's a great and happy day--and I enjoy every blessed minute of my free time! I just wanted to share with you that after 2 years of emotional and physical overload, I've evolved into someone who enjoys my "peaceful" times.

I am thinking of you and Keith and hope your news is great.

Ada

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Carleen,

I had my first scan since starting treatment on Friday too. I know just how you're feeling. I'm trying to put it out of my mind, but this starts a new chapter in our treatment as I see it and I think it's the what comes next part that is getting to me. I'm planning a trip to visit my family, but can't bring myself to make the reservation until I get these results. Everyone please add me to your prayer list as well and I expect us both to be posting some good news very soon. No matter what the results we'll find a plan to get us through this and keep on fighting until we have it beat.

Jenny

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Dear Carleen,

Whoever said no news is good news did not just have a scan. But try and get your glass half full, remember it might very well be GOOD news.

As others have said, keep your self busy and try to smile and laugh with Keith, he has to be worried too!

Heres to good news.

PS Jenny here's to good news for you too.

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Carleen

Me and Lori are praying for you. When I am waiting for results I try to realize that I cannot change what is in the scan and that I can face whatever comes my way. We continue to get bad news but I just keep my chin up higher. You have already been told the worse basically, that he has cancer, the rest is just a roller coaster ride. You can't doubt that he will get better. You have to believe that you are stronger than this D**N cancer

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Thank you everyone. I really do appreciate all the prayers.

Well, we are still waiting, but we were able to make it through the weekend without going insane.

We actually had a pretty nice weekend. We took a trip up to DaveG's neck of the woods to visit a friend of Keith's in Nekoosa WI. We spent Saturday on his boat on Castle Rock Lake, and then enjoyed a big campfire in the evening. Sunday we came home and spent the afternoon with out fathers.

It was pleasant and busy, so I found a few times through the weekend where my mind was on something other than those darn scans.

Yes, we both were probably not our normally cheery selves, but I think we did better than I would have expected. There were a few bittersweet moments, that I'm sure a therapist would tell me were bad, negative thoughts and all. Like I remember looking at Keith sitting by the fire, and trying to memorize exactly how beautiful he looks by firelite. Trying to take a mental picture of Keith sitting in the boat, the sun and the wind in his hair. Even as I was telling myself that we will have plenty of times to sit romatically around a fire in the future, part of me felt like I needed to take a mental picture of it, because we may never get to again.

AM I STUPID OR WHAT!!!! Of course we are going to do this again... we will be boating and camping well into our 90's. But I have the feeling my head and my heart are at two different stages in this roller coaster ride.

Thanks again for all your kindness and support. I don't know how I would make it through this without all of you.

Lots of Love,

Carleen

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