natalie

Shordy, I'm sorry that you have to have your birthday without your Dad. I hope the day goes by fast for you and that you can manage to find a few hours where you are actually really smiling and enjoying yourself...that's what your Dad would want. Happy Birthday.

Tammy, if you are reading this...I just want you to know that you are in my prayers.

This weekend was great! Our group raised over $4500 and I individually raised $1500! Yay! I met some wonderful people and a lot of my friends came to hang out and walk a few hours for me. I didn't think I'd be sore, but I realized I got a good work out when I woke up Monday morning. I also sold bracelets with a silver ribbon charm on it and they sold really well. Here's pictures... http://members16.clubphoto.com/natalie7 ... 1ff6.phtml[/img]

Laurie from San Diego...where are you? Haven't heard from you in while!

Hi Jean, We have 98 Rock here in town...Are you from California? I'm so glad he is getting such an abundance of support. That is great that they set you up with a studio in your house!!!

Selfish?!!??? You have got to be kidding us!!!! Use this board to tell us your troubles! You need to get it out somewhere for your sanity! Ginny, we are here for you. It's a recipricle thing. You help us, we help you. I'm praying so hard for you. You are such a strong woman and offer so much support.

Shelly! I can't believe it! You are keeping yourself so well put together under so much trauma. Please know that I admire you and praying for your father! I'm just so angry that your family has to go through so much.

Cathy, I'm sorry you are sad. I notice it getting harder to deal with as time goes on too. I just got back from the hospital from visiting a friend who had a baby. It's the same hospital my mom had her doctors visits, CT scans, PET scans, where she died, etc. I felt horrible being there. It was wierd but I felt this huge emptiness not being at that hospital with my mom. It was as if I wished she were sick again so that we could be at the hospital together...what is wrong with me to wish for such a thing? I felt betraying my mom by being there without her...then there's my friend with her beautiful baby, her mom, and her mother in law and I found myself missing my mom so much. I won't have a moment like that with my mom. I figured if I associated that hospital with something positive it would help me with the grieving. It didn't. Do you ever feel manic? I feel like I'm either high or low but never at a balance. I question life a lot now. The longer my mom is gone the bigger the void is and the more it is real that she is gone. I just can't imagine not seeing her, talking to her ever again. I then am afraid that I'll forget things about her. I'm trying to etch things in my brain (her accent, her voice, her face, her sense of humor, mannerisms)...I'm so afraid I'm going to forget things. My mom's dad died (notice I don't refer to him as grandpa) when she was 16 so I never knew him. This is how my children are going to refer to my mom. As their "mom's mom" not grandma. That disturbs me so much. Sorry I don't have the most positive response. I know this will make us stronger and maybe we have a part of our parents in us now that we didn't have before. Maybe we don't have to miss them too much because they are right there inside us. I can do things and know exactly what my mom would say. I'm sure you can do that with your Dad too and there's some comfort in knowing someone that well. I'm so sorry that you are hurting. It just isn't fair.

Your team name cracks me up! I wish you a relaxing and quick recovery. Have that son of yours rent you a bunch of movies. Take Care.

Ginny, I'm so sorry you have to go through all this. It just doesn't seem fair. Not only do I have prayers for Earl, your sister and friend, I have many for you. Please take a few moments of "Ginny" time for yourself and vent to us anytime you want. We are here for you.

Berisa, I've had two dreams so far. I swear it was her way of communicating to me. In the first one she was so healthy and happy. She kept saying with a smiling, peaceful face that she's not here anymore. It's like she's trying to help me understand that she's okay but that I need to accept that she's gone. I couldn't touch her in this dream, so that was hard. The second dream, I actually was able to feel her and touch her and hug her. I kept asking her "where have you been?". She said she went on a "mini-vacation" and she said she had to go again but came by for a visit. Both times I woke up crying but they gave me tremendous peace. I keep hoping for another one, but haven't gotten it yet. Everyone that I talk to that has had these dreams say that there is a calmness displayed in the person that has died. In both of my dreams my mom seemed so peaceful and radiant. It's hard to explain, but it is such a blessing. You will have this same experience I'm sure. Write us when you get that dream, I can't wait to hear about it.

What an unselfish act. I'm inspired by this and will make sure I put a donor sticker on my license. Thanks for reminding me to do it! You are awesome and I'm sure your husband would be very happy to be able to help someone else in need.

I agree with getting a second opinion Jamie. This is an important step in this battle against cancer and I would do everything possible to see if your Dad can be operative. I'm so sorry that you have to go through this rollercoaster ride. Your in my thoughts.

Denise, I'm so happy that the news came back good!!!! Thanks for the update!

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I ditto what everyone has posted back to you. Find a compassionate and caring doctor. I had to go through 3 before I found the right one for my mom. I also am an only child and my mom was 56 so I can especially relate to you. I feel your pain and can completely empathise with you. They are coming out with some great treatments, do NOT give up hope. There are some amazing survivors on this board. Look into clinical trials and alternative treatments. I recommend that your mom reads the Lance Armstrong book. I hear that it is inspirational and will provide you some hope. Lance Armstrong had multiple lesions in his brain, lungs, testicles and he beat it.

I remember that when I posted in the grieving section, I mentioned that I reserved at saying what I wanted to say for fear of scaring others or offending someone etc. In response a lot of people supportively encouraged me to say what I wanted to say. Many others said they were glad that I brought it up and that they have been needing to talk about certain things that they can't. Katie, maybe we can have a new section called "Venting" or "Doom and Gloom" that you have to sign on for? Just a suggestion, but the judgments being passed on here I don't really feel are fair. I read a pm that was sent to Andrea that would have really hurt my feelings if I was on the recipient end. We are all different, act different, feel different...I think this is a place we should come freely and not feel judged or criticized. I've been wanting to say this for a while but usually if I don't agree with someone or something, I just don't respond. I've seen Andrea get judged multiple times and I just don't think it's fair. I couldn't keep quiet about it.

Thank you for that. It was extremely touching to read and brought me some comfort. Thinking of you and your brother. I know this is a very difficult time for you.

Ginny, I'm so so sorry about your dear friend and sister. I will have them in my prayers as the same with Earl. Earl is an inspiration to me and I'm so glad to hear that he is doing well.

Congratulations Ray! You raised a lot of money!!! That is a beautiful picture of you and your wife!

Jane, I'm so so sorry. I know what helped me at the time was to have my family around. I hope you can find the same comfort with family that I did.

Debi, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother in law. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

I am so sorry for your loss. I hate this disease! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!

You are such a nice and caring manager and friend! That probably helps them more than you know. The most helpful thing to me was an understanding manager. He was just great. Whenever I had an appt for my mom, he never questioned it. He also was such a good listener. Because he was so understanding I was able to be such an important part in my mom's cancer battle which means the world to me right now. I went to every appointment and took half days to be with my mom. My company is also involved with the Relay for Life (which they started on my behalf last year) and have given donations towards cancer. As a result to all of this, my company has my upmost loyalty. I am so honored to work for such a compassionate group of people. They treat me like family even though our company has over 175 employees. That means more to me than any salary, or status quo. I had someone offer me a job with a higher salary and I told them I was not interested...how the heck could I leave such a great company?!! What also really helped me a lot were little things. I had a neighbor call me and say, I'm going to swing by and pick up your house key? I know you have many family members there and you've been under some stress so I'm going to have your house cleaned for you on Monday. She didn't give me the opportunity to say, "you don't have to do that, etc." It helped so much! It felt good to come to such a clean house. I had both my mom and Dad, multiple family members staying with me and with all the stress involved it helped so much to not have to worry about cleaning. You could also bring over dinner, grocery shop for them one day...anything like that really helps. We all payed $5.00 to wear jeans this Friday and all the money goes to cancer research. Anyways, I just wanted to give you some ideas (my parents were very private too). I wish you the best and just want to let you know I think you are great for caring so much about your friend and coworker!

Hey Steph!!! We miss you! Thanks for giving us an update. I hope you are enjoying Copenhagen.

Andrea, you may have more than one person answer the question correctly (especially if you have people from the ACS there)...so maybe if they answer the questions correctly, then they get put into a drawing and you pull out a name?