shineladysue

Happy Birthday Ry!!!!!! I'm spinning my wheels to catch up with everyone at the pub.. Woo Hoo!!! Ry, you deserve the party of parties for always being here for us.. You are a special lady. Hugs, Sue

Will, Losing a spouse of 36 years is very difficult. I lost my husband of 36 years, just two years ago. I too was totally lost. I have to admit that I still am. It's so hard to think of yourself as "me" and not "us". It doesn't happen in just one month . I'm not sure when it happens. Every thing I do, I feel something is missing . When people speak of healing I feel they are referring to my broken heart and I do feel wounded . It is early in your grief , Will.. Let yourself grieve. Perhaps grief counseling or a widow/widowers support group would help you. Right or wrong , I didn't choose to go that route. Above all, be patient with yourself and give yourself time. Keep in touch with us. Many of us understand. Sue

What a difference a day makes. Yes, today I feel better, but I have to admit I had one of those surprise meltdowns yesterday. I wasn't going to post here, but I knew that even when the rest of the world doesn't understand that many of you do . Yesterday, I received the kindest, most understanding email from an angel on the board. The angel being , Debi/Welthy. It's nice when people take the time to think of others. I know I can't possibly keep up with all of you, but I wish I could because her message meant so much to me. Last year, I received email from several friends (friends not on this board) , who remembered the date. Yesterday, Debi's was the only email I received . People think you should be over it in two years I guess. NOT!!! What I am trying to say is that this was a lesson to me too. I learned how much it means to someone when at least one person remembers. I hope that I can remember to be there for others. Last, but not least, I want to thank ALL of you who have posted to this thread and have been here to support me all along this journey. It means so much . This is an especially emotional week, for me, because my mom will get her PET scan results on Friday.. scary time. Love, Sue

Hi Jane, Just wanted to welcome you and wish you and your husband the very best. There are many of us caregivers, as well as cancer patients out here who will be here to support you and try to help in any way we can. It's good to know that you aren't alone. I don't know what I would have done without all these wonderful people. Keep us informed. Sue

Hi Bob, Welcome to our family. Wishing you the best with your chemo treatment. There is a lot of good information, hope and support here to help you along. God Bless, Sue

Loved these. Thanks, Muriel Sue

I had spent the night by his side, at the hospital, as he lay quietly and would occasionally look over at me and smile. He had told the family the night before that he wasn't afraid to die. He held up his index and middle finger together and stated "me and God are like this". He was on morphine and his breathing became raspier as morning approached, he became less responsive and then his legs were turning bluish. It was then I called the nurse and all the family. The doctor came and gave him a bit more morphine, we were all by his side as he soon slipped away about 10:50am.. That was two years ago , today. Today, I still miss him with all my being. There is a huge hole in my heart. It seems like it was just yesterday at times , but I am beginning to let in the warm memories of all the good times. It is those memories that keep me going. I was so blessed to have known such incredible love in my life. Missing you Mike. May you rest in peace, my love. Sue

(((Julia))), This news just breaks my heart. Your Aaron was a real fighter and he loved you so much . He was the age of my youngest son, much too young too die. Julia, you are truly a precious, special young lady. May God be with you and your families as you go through the difficult days ahead. Don't forget that we are here for you too. Hugs, Sue

Is this a trick question to find out how old we are? I'm afraid I remember more of these than I want to admit. Sue

Bill, Glad your first impression of your oncologist was a good one. That is so important. As for the time frame you've given for the staging, it sounds like they are moving along pretty fast. I can understand you wanting everything done yesterday, but quite honestly you will find that most cancers don't usually grow at a rapid rate. Good luck to you and keep us informed as you learn more. There are many folks here who will be glad to help you get through the days and weeks ahead. God Bless, Sue

Thank you for posting this and Ned is right, we should email Nancy and let her know how much we appreciate her getting the truth out about lung cancer. Sue

Bill, Most of us can relate to the days before we had all the facts . I can't imagine the fear you have as a patient, but I know how scary this time is. It will be easier when you know exactly where you stand and what course of treatment you will take. So glad you have your partner by your side. That will help. Let us know how you are doing. God Bless, Sue

(((Carrie))), Praying for the best for you, your mom and your family. God Bless, Sue

Grateful to see our JC posting this day. Welcome back, Jackie . Sure hope the treatments do help . So far, it sounds promising. You've been missed. Hugs, Sue

(((Tina))), I am so sorry . You have lost so many members of your family to cancer. It just breaks my heart. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. Love, Sue

Welcome to our family. I'm sorry you have to be here, but I want you to know that you have chosen a wonderful group to join. You will find a lot of support and hope here. I'm so very sorry to read how you were treated by your pulmonologist.. that's not right. I do hope your oncologist will be a lot more compassionate. Be sure to take notes, be sure to ask questions and make sure you understand everything. The beginning can be very scary , but as you learn exactly what you are facing and what the treatment plan is it will all be easier. Hang in there. Look around the forums here. There is a wealth of information for all. Sue

Neil, this is wonderful news. Shrinkage is a wonderful thing.. Sue

Many hugs and understanding coming your way. Sue

CONGRATULATIONS to you and your wife, Nick, I love her name. Can hardly wait to see her. Don't keep us waiting too long.. ok.. Hugs, Sue

(((Sheri)))

Oh Ann, I am such a sentimental nut and can't throw away anything.. I therefore have a house full of clutter , greeting cards included. Sue

I never probated the will . Everything was in our names or at least I thought.. except I found out Mike inherited some mineral rites to land in Texas , but after jumping a few hoops and my sons signing their papers saying all went to me, it became mine. The only other thing is some shares of stock that were in his name. I once contacted the bank about it since they are bank shares (he was an employee there) , they sent me the paper work and I never took care of it because of all the confusing legal mumbo jumbo that might as well been greek. Still need to do that, but the shares have decreased in value to nearly half, lately. I do have a great deal of credit card debt which I plan to pay off as soon as I can get myself established in a job. I still have my mortgage too. What a lot of people , including me didn't realize is that I'm not entitled to any income from the government until I am 60 , which I will be in a few months. Widowhood sucks. Sue

I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. My sincere condolences to you , his family and friends. Sue

Debi, You seem to look at this the way I do. I am 59, met Mike when I was 19, married him at 21 and were married nearly 36 years. He was my other half and definitely my best half. I still feel married. It's hard to explain, but I kind of like your I think that pretty much describes me as well. Glad to know that I'm not by myself in my thinking.Sue

Hi Barb, Things just never are the same again, are they? The way we think about things is different. Everything is different. Hope the job works out for you. Sorry to hear about Rod's friend.. so sad. Glad you know that you can always come back here to share your own progress. We understand and care. Hugs, Sue