(((Val))),
I found the words of your youth pastor to be very cold, calloused and unknowing. I resent people who "don't have a clue" telling others how they should just accept it, get over it and move on. Her reference to her mom being "alive and kicking" was cold. When her mom passes will she say "my mom is no longer alive and kicking" so I'm moving on now?GRRRR Oh Val, this one makes me see red. I'm sorry to get carried away like this , but there is no wonder, in my mind, as to why you found this hard to accept. Furthermore, no two people have the same bonds with their friends and loved ones. No one should stand in judgement of others... I have had similar things said to me and it hurt me. Many of us here do understand. If you are too easily offended then so am I.
Sue