richinsdakota Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 Life can be cruel, as many of us have found, and can sometimes reduce even a man to tears. Today for instance... I guess ive been preoccupied with how to get things done around here, house maintenance, yardwork, etc., when I can still barely lift a half gallon of milk without feeling the tweek on the incision. Just an ordinary day, today, thinking of things like that when the phone rings...Its Julie, one of my High School sweethearts. Wow, havent heard that voice in years. "Where were you?" she asks, she thought sure Id attend the H.S. reunion last nite, hoped to see me there. Geeeeez...I had completely forgot it was even happening, if I ever noted the date. (H. S. reunions are the big deal here in smalltown, and she came from Tulsa to attend.) I used to never miss one, but just subconciously eliminated it after my surgery/treatment I guess. Anyway, we had a nice chat, which took me back to those carefree kid days when we rode around town in my 47 chevy, listening to Elvis on the radio. (heh) We were so young and naive and just looking for fun all the time. We talked about the other best friends, etc....Then I broke the news to her of my L. Cancer, loss of lung, etc. Then she broke the news that she dx'd with non-hodgins lymphoma last year, chemo, etc. Sheez, does everyone get cancer? Is it automatic at our age? Seems that way sometimes... Well, we hung up, and it suddenly hit me, how those vital young healthy kids we were, ..are suddenly old and all getting sick and maybe dying. I had a thought of driving out to see her, but the call had triggered it...the sadness, melancholy tears that wont stop all day. I was afraid Id break down and sob my heart out. I cancelled the drive. I logged on to LCSC to catch up, offer what I could, and noted the posts of the passing of some of our friends here. The sadness deepened. The flood of thoughts continued; My 83 yr. old Mom recovering from her near fatal car accident...My Brother who refuses to take care of himself, withering away slowly. All of you here, and everywhere, courageously fighting these monster diseases,...all of us subject to the ravages of aging, ..etc.,etc. The tears just keep coming. I hope noone minds that I post this rambling, lengthy comiseration, but I just had to get it out. And..Im ok..its not a deep depression with suicidal thoughts, just an overwhelming sadness that I feel today. Ill feel better tomorrow, but today...I just have to stand up and cry like a man. Rich B. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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