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Don M's request of his wife, Jude


judeminiken

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Dear Friends of Don M:

I see that my daughter Amanda already informed you of Don M's passing and I have read your wonderful responses to her. I am his wife, Jude, and I must tell you that he gave me strict instructions to get on this site when he passed away to inform you all not only of his death, but also to let you know how much you all meant to him. I think that you know that from the responses that you have sent, but since I promised him I would post, I am doing it.

Don did fight the good fight to the end. Day before yesterday, he looked me in the eye and said, "This is hard." Through his pain, he never once was anything but loving and compassionate to the people around him. I have heard that sometimes the stress of it all will bring out the worst in a person, but if that is the case, I guess there was not much "worse" in him.

I thank you all for being such a support to him. He urged me from time to time to get on line and post, as I guess many family members do, but I never did. My reluctance I know was my loss, after reading your posts.

It was a priveledge to be married to him for 35 years. He was a great father, as Amanda says and a pretty good darn husband too! :)

I do want you all to know that he indeed did have a smile on his face when he passed away....and I have never seen such a look of peace on anyone's face ever. He leaves to you all his enduring love and I know that where his spirit is now, he is still being a cheerleader for all who face this war.

Sincerely,

Jude M

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Judy I am so sorry for your loss of such a good man. I want to thank you for posting also, for hearing from you lets us know a little more about our friend Don. Again you are in my prayers during this most difficult time that you will find peace. Don will always be watching over you.

Donna G

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Hi Judy. Thank you so much for writing at this difficult time. Don sounds even more extrordinary and special than we knew him to be. It is comforting to know that he left this world with a smile on his face. We will deeply miss and never forget him here.

Sandra

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Jude,

My heart aches for you and your daughter right now. Don was an icon here, always had great advice and a kind word for everyone. He shared his whole experience with all here hoping that this could help others on this journey.

We will miss him. We wish you and your daughter peace and comfort.

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Jude,

It was easy to tell that Don was special from the time he spent helping people on this board. After reading yours and Amanda's loving tributes today it is clear that you were both lucky to have him as a husband and dad--and he was lucky to have you. That love is the one thing the cancer can never take away.

The LCSC was lucky to have Don too. It was just like him to want to make sure we knew he loved us. But we knew it with every single post--every single time he responded to a new member to share his story or experience--every time he celebrated with us--every time he grieved with us--every time he checked on someone or simply said "I'm thinking about you."

Thank you for sharing Don's wishes, but most importantly thank you for sharing Don with us. You, Amanda and your entire family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,

Susan

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Jude

Thank you so much for taking the time right now to pass this message on to all of the members here. As I said in my reply to Amanda, Don was one of the first to welcome me to this site and his warmth and wisdom were such a source of inspiration for so many. It was the people like Don who made such a difference to so many of us a few years ago. He was a source of information and advice as well as someone who always had words of encuragement at just the right time.Sadly so many of those voices have been silenced and things just changed along the way as so often happens in life.

Please know that you and Amanda and those beautiful grandchildren are in my thoughts and prayers and will continue to be. My condolences to all of you and my sincere thanks to you for allowing us to be a part of your Don's life and to learn from him as he fought so bravely.

With my love and hugs

Christine

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G-d Bless you Jude. Thank you for bringing out like Amanda did about that smile on his face. And you saying that he had that look of peace is helping me through my own pain of your loss.

Don was a good friend and mentor to me. It is incredible how much I miss his postings and presence on here. I just always felt that Don would always be around. What a fighter he was! I hurt so much that it is hard for me to even reply to you. But I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you posted. I feel a bit of Don through you.

Hang strong and know that we are here to help you through your pain if you need prayers, support or just a shoulder to cry on. We are here 24/7.

I have a large white candle lit for Don which I will continute to let it burn until it burns itself out. Right now it is shinning brightly.

You had such a wonderful compassionate husband and I admire you for all you have done to help him. I know one of the reasons he faught so hard was for you and his family. How he loved those grandchildren. But he will llive on through all his love ones and his spirit will shine brightly throught-out eternity. Heaven has received a wonderful gift.

From my heart to yours,

Maryanne

PS. Don was one of the reasons I looked into cyberknife for my hushand. We were so lucky that it is now FDA approved and treatment centers are popping up all over. He was the one who sent me an instant message about my husband looking into it. We did and it worked my husband is now LC free. To me your Don is our savior...

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I am so very sorry for your loss. Don was a wonderful person and helped so many people here. I think he most likely saved or extended the lives of many individuals that read his posts about treatment options available to them. That is a wonderful legacy to leave behind. My very deepest sympathy to you. Please feel free to join in here and let us know how we can help you get through this. Unfortunately many of us have also lost our spouses to this disease.

Rochelle

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I think my sister is one of those people that Don's talk of cyberknife may have helped. If not to save her life, certainly to extend it. And for that I will be forever grateful to Don. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but it is obvious you all realize how truly blessed you were to have him in your lives. We here all feel the same.

You are all in my prayers.

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I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I respected and cared for Don very much. He was an inspiration to so many and to me, he was a source of encouragement and strength.

I was saddened when he posted aobut hospice and I am heartbroken for all who knew him and for your family at his passing.

My sincere condolences. This is a great loss.

I will keep you and your children in my prayers.

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I have heard that sometimes the stress of it all will bring out the worst in a person, but if that is the case, I guess there was not much "worse" in him.

Jude, I am a relative newcomer here and only knew Don from his posts the past year or so. But you could see in his picture and in the words he wrote that he was a gentle soul without a mean bone in his body. I am certain there is no one on this site who doubts what you say of him is true.

My condolences to you and your family.

Judy in Key West

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My prayers and thoughts and condolences to You and amanda and the whole family and friends Of Don. He shared his spirit for life and his enthusiasm here with us always and I admire and respect him for that! Please know that if you should need us we are always here for the families also.....

Hugs and Prayers Randy

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Jude, I was so sorry to hear about Don. He was such a very special person to all of us and I can see that you were blessed to have each other. He will be missed around here more than I can say. He was so generous in sharing his time, advice and experiences with everyone. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this very sad time. Shelley

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Jude,

What can I say to you except comfort to get you through this time, blessings of peace but also your love of thirty-five year, Don M, s will always be with you. May the smile and peace of your husband also give you comfort as well.

Don offered words to me when my mom passed a few months ago. But prior to my mom's passing it was Don's story of his battle with this disease, it was one of a few, that offered me hope when I began this journey over a year ago with my mom.

Like others have and will probably state: you and your family have us if you need us- we are here.

Prayers of peace,blessings and comfort to you Jude and your family.Your husband left a great legacy to us here at LCSC.

*Hugs*

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Jude and Amanda - I read nearly daily, but virtually never post. I have to make an exception here....Don was a kind, gentle, intelligent man. He replied to me on many occasions when I needed a word or two. I appreciated it all the more because I understood what he was going through himself. Consider yourselves blessed for having had him in you lives. He was graceful, which says a lot. Mary Colleen

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Dear Jude,

Thank you for posting to us.

Please accept my condolences.

Don was so very special and your description of him makes him all the more real in my mind.

Although I never met him in person, he conveyed a caring and warmth that made all the difference.

I/we will miss him so very much.

Barbara

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Jude,

My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and your family over the loss of your husband Don. Don gave so much of himself to us. He was always sharing any information he had in an effort to help others. He also spent so much time supporting and comforting other members. I will never forget him. He was such a kind and generous person who will be missed for a long time to come. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers in the difficult days, weeks etc. to come.

God Bless,

Sue

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Jude,

I am just learning of Don's death and am so sad. He was, as you said, the best cheerleader anyone facing lung cancer could hope for. He also possessed a wealth of information that absolutlely, without a doubt, has helped me help my mother face treatment decisions and other difficulties related to her lung cancer.

Before I found this 'place' in June 2005, I wouldn't have believed my next statement possible between strangers but, Jude, I loved him. I loved his fight, his depth, his honesty, his humor and his outlook. He was a treasure to us here. I can't help smiling at the thought of him and that grandbaby with the HUGE, amazing eyes perched on his knee.

Love and peace to all of you.

Amie

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My husband consistenly asked about Don during his illness.

He had such respect for him.

I did, too, and he was wonderful in support of Brian and Me.

I am forever grateful and Don is forever part of me and part of Brian.

I am so sorry for your loss and for ours.

Pat

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Don was such a wonderful and kind person. He was so helpful to me and I will never forget that he encouraged me to get adjuvant chemo after my surgery. Don will truly, truly be missed. My prayers and condolences are with you and your family.

Carol

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