Angie Daughter of Bill Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 A couple of days ago I felt as if my heart was breaking. Well, it's official......my heart is broken. I took Dad to get his scans this afternoon. The tech asked us to wait to be sure that all of the CT's (brain, chest and abdomen) turned out o.k. (seemed rather strange to me........they never do that) We were then instructed to go straight up to the medical oncologist's office. Dad's oncologist sat down, put one hand on my shoulder and one hand on Dad's knee and informed us that the disease has progressed to his brain. I asked how many mets........the oncologist didn't have the final reading. (the radiologist called up to let our doctor know about the mets) All that we were told was that there are "several areas of disease in the brain". SEVERAL! Not one or a couple..........but several! They immediately took Dad over to the treatment area and gave him IV Decadron. The doctor did say that there was significant swelling in the brain. (wonder WHY he never had a headache if there is significant swelling in the brain?) My Dad is so upset. Bless his poor heart. He of course is fearing the unknown. He is sooooo afraid to lose his mental capacities. My Dad has not cried throughout this journey........not once.......until tonight that is. He cried almost the whole way home from the oncologist. (and that's about an hour) I somehow held it together to encourage him and let him know that we have fought for so long and we are going to continue fighting. We are scheduled for his radiation to the spine tomorrow. The oncologist said that hopefully the radiation oncologist will have the reports in the morning and will see us to discuss whole brain radiation. (if Dad wants to do that) When I got home, I went straight to my room. I went with the intent to have a "meltdown". The tears wouldn't flow. I'm just too numb. Totally numb. Just when we thought things were looking up.........only two more radiation treatments to the spine.........starting Alimta Friday........how fast our course changed. We are now holding the chemo it seems. (that doesn't sound good to me) I'm so scared to get the rest of the scan results. Please remember us and hold us up in prayer. I'm just not sure how much longer I can hold it together. I HATE CANCER!!! (but I love all of you!) Bittersweet, huh? I have come to love so many of you, yet the reason that brought us all together is just devastating. By the way........did I mention I HATE CANCER??!!!! Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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