amakis Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Grace, I feel so for you and your family. I wish that something magical could happen that could take away all the pain you are feeling. Your posts are so honest and I appreciate that. Please know that your decisions are the right ones because you are doing what you think is best for your husband. Try to cherish these last weeks with him as they are so very important. Warmly, Amanda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Grace, How awful on top of everything to have strangers coming and going in the same room. You did the right thing insisting on a private room. My prayers continue for Carlton, you and the girls. Peace and strength be with you during this difficult time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 (((Grace))), Bless your heart!!! Wish some of us could be there to hold your hand and go through this with you. You were absolutely right in insisting on the private room. Grace, as I see it, you have made the best decisions under the circumstances. God be with you. Love & Prayers, Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 (((((Grace))))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 (((Grace))), I'm so relieved that Carlton has a private room. Continued prayers for all. Welthy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather_T Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 I wish I could do something to help ....Just know that we are all prayng for you and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 How horrible for you. Most hospitals have a hospice wing that makes it much easier for families to stay with their loved one. I am sorry the end has to be like this, I hope things are better now that he has his own room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom K Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 I can’t imagine any words that could ease your pain, but you, Carleton and your family are in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Grace, I know intimately your pain, fear and Worries, right now. YOUR DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT. There si no wrong except walking away and that ain't gonna happen. You have done as much as you can. The best thing to do is spend as much time as possible with Carlton now. Tell him, how much you love him, hold his hand, whatever you need to be comfortable as possible in this situation. Don't let the Coulda, shoulda, wouldas Get you now. It will not help. MAke sure everything is in order for arrngements. THis will get worse emotionally before it gets better. I know this may sound Morbid to some but those of us who have walked this path can assure you, you are doing the best you can. Just keep doing it. God works in strange ways. He is the only one who has and knows a plan for all of us. Some sooner than others. He tells them the plan when he needs them. We carry a torch and Carry on until our time. This is from a book of debs I found afte rshe passed; I think it helped her somewhat: Please be assured that your loved ones will meet you on the other side, so there is no reason to old on to your fear of death. If you keep in mind that Love and Love alone is the reason for living, it will calm your heart and free you from your worries. Sending Prayers for Yourself, Carlton, and your goirls tonite. I know how scary this is right now. Prayers for peace, strength, and comfort in these times of trouble and turmoil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Judy-OK Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Oh Grace I am SO sorry. Please do not question your decisions. You are being very strong and I only hope than when my time comes I have someone with your strength to help make decisions. I do have all the papers in order but it still is great to have someone that knows what one would want to endure and what they would not want. Please know that many prayers are with you on this journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie22 Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Grace- I am so sorry this is happening. I had the same questions with my mom, wondering if it is the right decision. I still think about it ocassionally, try and process it, and I now know it was the right decision. I hope you too can come up with the comfort of "just knowing" what you are doing is right. I pray for you and your family that you too can find some peace and comfort. Hugs and prayers Connie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janehill Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Oh Grace, I am so sorry and my heart really goes out to you. For whatever it's worth, yes, you have made the right decision. Of course you want Carlton back, but that's not an option life's going to offer you at this point. We can only make the best choices from what we're offered. A DNR not being in place can be far more traumatic and emotionally agonizing for you, Carlton and your family - it will only extend the inevitable. Spend every moment you can with him, love him and talk to him - he hears you, be sure of that. You will find peace some day with these last moments. I can only hope I'm as lucky as Carlton at the end of my life - to have a loving spouse by my side to care for me and help me move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Q Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Grace, you are doing exactly what you should be doing, and it is right. Your pain must be so great, and I wish I could alleviate it. Just know that you are doing the right thing for Carlton and your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marco Jo Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 ((((Grace)))) I hope you are taking care of yourself, and that you are allowing people to be there to support you too! You have so much to handle! I am sending you and Carlton and your girls lots of prayers. And definately don't second guess your choices. It is really hard, and hopefully the hospital staff are doing their part to help guide you through this difficult time... Peace to you and your family-Marco Jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 ((((((((((((Grace)))))))))))) I am so very sorry that you have all of these things to worry about at this time. I wish I was there to help you in some small way. Please don't drive yourself crazy second guessing your decisions regarding Carlton's care. I know that you're doing, and have done, everything possible to help him. Just know that we are all thinking of you and saying lots of prayers for you, Carlton and those lovely girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dadstimeon Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Prayers, Very sorry for all you are going through. Rich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mary colleen Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Grace, I hope, and I'm sure that all of hope, that you have friends and family nearby to help you through this. Do you? We are all with you in spirit. I pray for you to have peace, for the girls to feel safe and secure, and for Carlton to be surrounded by angels in his sleep. mc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted February 16, 2007 Share Posted February 16, 2007 Grace, My heart aches for you. Please know you'll be in my prayers. And as long as everything you are doing is being done out of love, which I know it is, do not question your actions. You are being wonderful. Your love shows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharonjo Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 Grace, You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. I understand your feeling of indecision about the DNR, but I believe you are doing the best thing for Carlton. I had to make the same decision for my 28 year old son when he could no longer receive chemo or radiation for his bone cancer. It tore my heart out to take my son from the hospital where I felt safe to a hospice where we would prepare for his death. In retrospect I feel that he was much more comfortable without all the prodding and IV's and he died peacefully with me at his side. I hope and pray that this is the case for you and Carlton too. You have made a very courageous and unselfish decision, and although you may not feel very strong - you are an incredibly strong woman. May our Lord grant you peace and comfort in this very difficult time. God Bless, Sharon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teriw Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 Dear Grace, You are in my thoughts and prayers continually. I wish so much to be able to say something of comfort, but I'm hopelessly lost for words. You have been loving your Carlton fully and faithfully and selflessly. I pray that you will come to know that deep in your heart. LOVE NEVER FAILS. Teri ___________________________________ Love is patient, Love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, It is not proud, It is not rude, It is not self-seeking, It is not easily angered, It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. L o v e N e v e r F a i l s. 1st Corinthians 13:4-8. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 In my thoughts and prayers.. Love, Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trish2418 Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 Trust your heart, Grace. Your heart is amazing and it will not let you or Carlton down. I'm saying so many prayers for all of you. Trish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastCoastLadi Posted February 17, 2007 Author Share Posted February 17, 2007 I wanted to let you know Carlton is now in a total unconscious/coma state. He is on continous morphine drip. His systems are starting to shut down, breathing is getting more labored. But he is comfortable. He has an air mattress in his room, and I bought a cd player up to his room and I'm having the nurses and staff, play his favorite music. I'm still in a total state of shock, but my girls got to see him one last time on thurs nite, and last night my family came to see him. his aunt, who is like his second mom, is trying to get up sunday to see him, I'm going to spend the night w/ him after I spend some time with the girls today. I spoke w/ all his drs. they assure me I did the right thing, his onc. told me if I go home and he does die while I'm not w/ him, not to feel guilty, I did everything I could and he told me that he has seen alot of people who wait till they are alone to pass on. I love my husband! I will miss Carlton.... letting him go is the hardest thing I have ever had to do... Grace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Welthy Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 Peace be with you Grace. Welthy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted February 17, 2007 Share Posted February 17, 2007 (((Grace))), You are doing everything you can. God be with you. Love and Prayers, Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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