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Carlton is slipping away - update 2/21


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I'm here...thank you for all of your concerns, Carlton is stable, by that meaning that he is considered in a "semi-comatose" state, his vitals are stable and they seems to have gotten his seizures under control.

But i'm totally a wreck, today here outside is just a mess and I couldn't go up to the hospital to see him, so last night I bought him up a get well card from my oldest daughters' class and a silk red rose and a valentines' day card from me. It was so difficult to pick one out, everything I read one, it was too much, a women beside me in the store was trying to pick one out for her husband and turned to me and said, it's so difficult, if she only knew....

People tell me I am strong, but i'm not, I'm just numb, I break down so very often, I'm so heartbroken, and can't sleep, eating junk and just forgetting everything...

I was lying in bed last night thinking about when I would come here and read when others were going through your/their losses, my heart would always go out and I would say, sorry and send prayers, but now it is happening to me and I now "get it"..and Carlton is still here..but I know when he passes ( and the drs. don't think it will be very long - his onc. said perhaps 2 weeks at the most. - but no one really knows) I will go through this hideous grief, the longing for my love, my life, the only man I ever wanted.

but tonite, he "sleeps" in ICU, still waiting for a bed in a private room. and Yes, I made the decision, that I wanted him at the hospital till the end, no "nursing home" and for him to come home now, it's not an option. I guess this is just the way it was meant to be, but it's happening so fast..

but at least for now he isn't in pain, I will be up to see him tomorrow, I'll talk, give him kisses, help wet his lips, watch some tv, read to him, remenis about everything and anything. While I sit and hold his hand...I'm still looking for a sign...I still don't know if it will happen...

once again, you all mean so much to me....I know it may be anytime of day or nite when it is too much, but you will all be here.

much love

Grace

ps thats' a pic of Carlton - it was taken at Lake Champlain, Vermont this summer.....it was our last family vacation together

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Grace,

I thought of you and Carlton alot today, told the girls at work who where complaining of not getting flowers sent on Valentines day...........I'm greatful it wasnt today as you had said would be hard.......

I wish I could bottle up the compasion, tears and thoughts for you and sent it your way to somehow increase your strengh.....

You are on our minds so much, you are loved.

Beat it!!

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Grace,

One day at a time. That's all you can do. You are doing great. It must have been so hard on you not to be with Carlton today. I wish I could find the words or I could say something to make this easier. It sounds like you are doing everything that you can do. Just love him and let God. My prayers continue.

Love,

Sue

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Grace,

I want to say and/or do something, anything to help ease your pain and your worry. I know there is nothing that can be said or done. I know that as so many of us here do.

I continue to hold you and Carlton and your girls in my thoughts and prayers...

Sending love and hugs to you all,

Chris

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Grace,

I've been thinking of you almost constantly since you first broke the devastating news to us. You are an incredibly strong woman and you are being everything you can be to Carlton when he needs you most. We are all here with you in spirit and will continue to be.

Breaking down isn't weakness -- breaking down is human. We can hear your amazing strength loud and clear, whether you can or not. You, Carlton and your girls will continue to be in my prayers.

Much love.

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I had a very upsetting afternoon today, Carlton was moved from ICU up to a Med/Surg floor, we waited 3 days for what I thought was going to be a private room, when we got there, not only was it not a private room, but incredibly small, couldn't fit a chair and there was another patient, what had a few visitors, who were laughing, talking. So I lost it,

I pulled the curtain all around Carlton and sobbed uncontrollably.

I rang for the nurse, when she got here, I told her that I was told Carlton was to be a private room, that that would be where he was going to die, and that it was unacceptable, for me to bring my young children, and any family members. I wanted somewhere quiet, were family and friends could visit and for him to die in peace.

they told me they would try, I left, cried uncontrollably and called the social worker at the cancer ctr. she wasn't much of a help, you see the hospital was under a "census crisis" - pretty much full capacity, well I thought waiting 3 days for my terminally ill husband was enough of a wait....

..but I just called the hospital, he got his private room, now I hope that he will be able to stay there...i can't believe this is happening, this is the final stages of his life...I'm just not ready, I don't know how much more I can take,

my heart is broken, my soul aches, it's too painful, why?, did I make the right decision in doing a DNR?, just providing "care and comfort" measures, means, IV, with meds for seizures, steroids, and morphine if he needs it. but no monitors, no feeding tube...what am I doing?

As much as I want him back, I don't want him to suffer.....

Grace

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