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Honoring and Remembering Brian K Osberg


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Jan 1, 2006

He was in pain

He was agitated

He was still fighting

His Tarceva rash was clearing up

I laid next to him in the hospital bed I had moved into our bedroom only 2 days before. Brian had finally agreed to stop tx. It was doing more harm than good and we were looking forward to spending weeks on the 'bridge' between here and there and dangling our feet in memories and goodbyes. (This bridge concept was shared w/ us by Beth and Bill and gave Brian much much comfort~as did the Rainbow Bridge shared by DeanCarl)

I matched his breathing. It hurt to do so

I rubbed his feet

I stroked his face

I held him close whispered all things to him

The hospice RN came and was surprised at his progression. She gave him Ativan under his tongue, rectal pain meds and an injection.

I laid with him and his breathing became easier to match. He made soft moaning noises that I came to think of as comforting himself.

I moaned a bit with him softly.

I put on his CD of Brennan Manning talking of God's unwavering love.

The RN wanted to bathe him. I said I would. The activity seemed to agitate him so I stopped.

Soon he would be Heavenly clean.

I gave him more Ativan under his tongue and he seemed to relax a bit.

Pastor was called and came to pray w/ us

His daughters came and stood scared to death near his bed........unbelieving.

My sister came to be w/ me

More pain meds as he became agitated again.

He was hot. I took off the blankets that I needed so badly and covered us w/ the top sheet from our lovely wedding linens (We got married in our home and spent our honeymoon here)

His breathing became impossible to match. It really wasn't breathing per se anymore.

At 5:40 PM

Brian went to the Heavenly Mansion prepared by Our Father.

He was reunited w/ his dad, his pets and all the Heavenly beings.

They took him from the home we made covered with a quilt made by family for our wedding

It was snowing and cold

Two years have not eased my missing him

Two years have not eased the pain of knowing we did not get 'goodbye time' Our time was spent in battle as he wished.

I don't remember much about the services; but Brian was so cold during tx that I could not bring myself to inter his ashes till summer.

Brian is now whole, healthy and understands all there is to understand.

He has met my Tom who died in 1993 and has told him how he gave me roses on each anniversary of his death. He has told him that he always said that if it weren't for the way Tom loved me I could never have loved him.

Brian was kind, tolerant, loving, giving, loyal, trustworthy, honest and determined.

I miss him like fire.

Two years have not eased the lonliness, longing and resentment.

I love and will always love and miss my Superman.

Brian, I honor you and love you and thank you for loving me so well.


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You and Brian, gave so much of yourselves to all of us during Brian's journey. The memory of Brian will forever live on in my mind and heart. The love and support the two of you gave to all of us could never be forgotten by me or many of us here. We felt we knew your "Superman" and he was so incredibly courageous. Missing him with you , Pat. Thank you for sharing your personal encounter during those final days and hours. You are truly loved , Pat. Thank you for being you.

God Bless,


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Sharing in your tears this morning -- what a beautiful, touching, moving, heartfelt story you tell. It speaks so perfectly of your love for each other. What an amazing man Brian was. What an amazing woman you are.

Thinking of you today,

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He has met my Tom who died in 1993 and has told him how he gave me roses on each anniversary of his death.

I have been unable to stop thinking about this since I read it this morning. What a beautiful, caring gesture. What a beautiful man and a true love. I'm so sorry for your loss, Pat.

With love,

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I appreciate all your kind comments.

It has been a hard day, but I have tried to just remember how happy Brian is.

I am glad he no longer suffers and no longer endures ugly side effects and the intrusion of constant tx.

I just miss his kindness and encouragement and cheerleading and hugs and gentle laughter and well.......you all know.

I know it is selfish and self indulgent to be so sad about being alone.

I know

But it is how I feel

Hugs for all others grieving today.


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Sweet Pat,

Your remembrance of you last days with your Brian have moved me completely... The story and journey is a legacy. Although the entire remembrance touched me to my very soul... the one line that has stuck with me and that I can almost visualize is your Brian being tucked into your wedding quilt as he made the final journey from your home. So incredibly sad, yet, so beautiful for you to think to surround him in the love and warmth of that quilt. God Bless You Pat today and forever. Love, Sharon

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Dearest Pat,

So sorry my friend that this is so late but it is sincere.

There were numerous postings from you and Brian. You were both always there for everyone who needed comfort. I miss the two of you.

My heart breaks as I read your post. I wish I could do or say something to make this an easier path you are enduring.

That gesture that Brian did on the anniversary of the passing of your first husbands death shows the character of a loving, caring soul your Brian was. I don't think many busbands would do that.

I hold you close in my heart and pray for you to have some peace.

My heart to yours...

Maryanne :cry:

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