ginnyde Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Earl died six months ago today. Is the grieving easier? Yes and no. I try not to remember him sick, not always able to do that. I want to remember the bright, funny, healthy Earl. I still cry everyday, which surprises me because I really am not a crier. I feel like I am alive and very busy but I am really not living. Does that make sense? I think my move will help me tremendously. Right now when I am home, I sit at the kitchen table working on the computer, sleep on my side of the bed and use the bathroom. This is not how you live in a home. It amazes me how concerned I am about all of you. How happy I am with good news and how sad I am with bad news. I guess that even though we are strangers, walking the same path can form 'relationships' that many would not understand. Thank you my lc family for all of your caring and support these many months. I plan to stay and offer any help I can. Love to you all, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimmek Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 ((((((GINNY))))))) I have been in your shoes, and I can tell you it DOES get better. It has been over 8 yrs since i lost my husband, and although i still do the counting its only in years now. Used to be hours, then days, then months, now its years. The remembering seems to be the hardest for me, sometimes i cant even remember what he looks like, the details you know. I dont understand that. But i do not cry anymore like i used too, and I like you was never a crier. The move and new home will help enourmously. I lived in the same house for a yr after Bobby died, and when I moved well it was just better. I cant quite put my finger on it. You are in incredibly strong woman, you will survive and thrive again. Love, Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Ginny, I still need you and my struggle with my parents illness is over as well. were family, somehow someway we all got thrown into LC and it made us a family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephnewyork34 Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 It has been almost a year for me and I am still really sad a lot of the time, but the good news is that I am also happy a lot too and having great memories of Mom, so I know how you feel and it sucks, but we are here for you. HUGS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Ginny. Sorry. I don't know what to say. I cannot imagine the pain. I have watched others go through the process of loss. There is nothing easy about it. But, with time, I have watched these men and women eventually gain some joy and laughter more frequently. This pain that you are going through has got to be the hardest. I am so glad that you are still here. Yours was one of the first that I saw when I came on last Fall. We need your kindness and gentleness and I am glad that you need ours. One day at a time... and it is most definitely all right to cry. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jean Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 It has been 15 weeks yesterday @ 7 PM since I lost my husband. I still cry every day and I am not a crier. I find myself falling into the bitter, self pity person category lately. It seems every other person has cancer. We would all have long lives if not for cancer. I just go about my business of living and try to keep busy and am always reading. I feel very hollow. He just knew me sooo well. I will never have that again. I find I need more rest so I can deal with the sadness. I have to keep strong for our kids. I cannot look ahead at all and we used to like looking forward to things. Well, I am getting his ring resized today so I can wear it on my right hand. I feel like I am going to lose it on this chain I wear. I do find myself enjoying the little, simple things more. Like the sunrise and sunsets which I take the time to sit and watch. Or getting home at night and settling in to watch the news. We have to enjoy each and every minute because who knows about tomorrow? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patut Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Hi Ginny. Thanks for posting this. It has been almost two months for me and I find myself going through different phases. I cry at least once a day and then seem to get on with it. I too decided to remember him when he was stronger and started putting out photos like when he was a soccer player in the 60's. I bought myself a beautiful heart box of candy half price the day after Valentines Day and am keeping his first letters to me from 1959 in it. Very special because I feel like he led me to do this. It was wierd. I wish you the best. Cyndy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Ginny, I am constantly amazed at the strength of you and all the others here that have lost a loved one. As I have said here before.I can't begin to imagine how I would cope if I lost my wife.I am grateful to be the patient in this house rather than the caregiver. I for one THANK YOU & all the others who have lost a loved one and chosen to stay here and support the rest of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Ginny, Six months... does not seem at all possible. Please know I am thinking of you today... I am sure it is so hard. You have been such a kind and thoughtful friend to me, I can never fully explain to you what your support has meant. Much Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDianneB Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Ginny. No. It can't be six months. It was just the other day that we were ... oh, never mind. My first "look" at you was in chat one night, and you typed in that Earl was snoozing right beside you. That's the image I got from the 2 of you from the start, and the one I still have today. I think of you, and imagine Earl snoozing right beside you -- always. You're one tough lady, you are. Can't wait until you are all settled in your new digs. Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Ginny, What can I say. I'm crying as I read this. Your Earl sounds like he was such a wonderful, kind, funloving person. I'm sure you have many precious memories to hold on to , but many reasons to miss him also. May time heal the hurt and lessen the pain. I want to thank you for the warmth and caring you leave on the pages of this site. You are truly a beautiful person and I feel so fortunate to be part of the same group with you. Hugs, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 I am so sorry for your pain Ginny. I think of you often. I hope the new place helps you cope with loss of your precious Duke of Earl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Sweet beautiful Ginny, thank you for all you do for us. I can't think of appropriate words to say other than I am thinking of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Ginny, For me it was 16 months on the 13th, still healing slowly. I always think of the best times of our life and that help. Time goes fast and so slow at the same time. Love J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 I am glad you are here, Ginny, you give things a sensible perspective, even this, how it is after 6 months. I cannot believe it has been so long. I was just going to post some stuff myself, much more recent but just sharing. The things you write do make a big difference. You have so much knowledge about so many things. Thank you, Ginny. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babesdaughter Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 ((((((((((((Ginny)))))))))))) It is a surreal six months, isn't it? Doesn't seem real...seems too real.....seems like yesterday....seems like a hundred years ago..... I do believe with all my heart that Earl is smiling down on you and proud of you every moment..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daggiesmom Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 Earl will always be with you. Love beats everything, including cancer. I'm thinking of you ((())) Joanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 Oh Ginny, thinking of you and your beloved Earl. Thanks for being here. gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBeth Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 Dear Ginny, I'm sorry that you have been without Earl for the last six months. I cannot, nor do I want to, imagine what that feels like. You and your strength are amazing. You are such a loving and giving person that I can only imagine what an incredible man Your Earl must have been to have been loved by you! God bless you and help you find happiness again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 Ginny, No words from me. Just sending you one huge big hug - a real hug - a heartfelt, sobbing, sorry, pat you on the back, love-you-my-friend type of hug! Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail p-m Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 Ginny-- I can't believe it has been 6 months either. I remember how hard Earl fought the beast and how you lovingly looked after him at home during his last weeks. I, too, admire your strength but have no words to ease your pain. Just know we all care about you and we're here if you need us or just want to "talk". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 Ginny, You are an incredible person. Your strength is amazing. We all pray for the cure for this awful disease. It tears so many families apart way too soon. Thank you for being here for all of us. I really appreciate your support. I pray that you find as much happiness in your new home as you had in your home with "The Duke"... God Bless, prayers and gentle hugs, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berisa Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 (((Ginny))), I understand your feeling....it really does hurt during the grieving period but I certainly am sure that Earl doesn't want you being unhappy in the rest of your life. He wants you be happy and enjoy your life here. One day, we all can see our beloved ones in heaven. I believe that they are watching over us in another dimension/space. Their spirits are forever.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K and Kids Posted February 19, 2005 Share Posted February 19, 2005 Ginny, I always make a point of reading your posts and replies. You have offered so much support and comfort here. My own grieving is for my dad but I gain a great deal of insight from you as to what my mom must be feeling. Thank you for that. I miss my dad more and more each day ... maybe that is because I was far away from him through this whole ordeal. It doesn't seem real some days and then at other times I miss what my children will miss out on in knowing such a great man. It sure doesn't seem fair. Your Earl was definately a great man to have picked you for his wife. Boy... was he ever blessed. I hope your memories grow to be comforting, joyful ones and that you build new ones in your new home. Thinking of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paddy Posted February 20, 2005 Share Posted February 20, 2005 I hear you "loud and clear" Ginny. I am so sorry for your pain. You are such a very brave person to contribute on this board as you do. Please see my post about the book I found, I am sure it will help you as it did me. I too cry every day, it wells up at the strangest times and inopportune places and that is just the way of it. Lots of love to you Ginny, Paddy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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