mamasbabygirl Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Or do I just need to settle down? I tell you, maybe I am just mean or high maintenance, but my mom's health (or lack thereof) is still important! When I called mom this morning, she complained of a headache all over her head, which is not normal for her. She has not had one headache since being diagnosed with brain mets. It is so debilitating she is not going to therapy at rehab today. So, I told her to call the nurse right away bc the rehab Dr. just upped her Lovenox due to a blood clot found in her leg this week. The nurse practitioner came in and said they would watch it. I called back to mom's room and SF called me "Dr." in a very condescending way. I yelled and hung up. I called the nurses station and talked to the NP to explain this is very unusual and I think they need to scan her ASAP bc of the threat of brain bleeding. She said she'd call the Dr. I am at work and just got a call from SF on my voice mail that they are taking mom to the hospital for a CT scan and he reassured me she'd be fine. I pray that everything is OK or at least fixable for mom. If they have to stop the Lovenox, are there alternatives? She was on coumadin forever when she got her first clot, plus it was very hard to regulate for her. I need to try to stay a step ahead of the game. Just venting really. I feel like mom is so far gone that people have become apathetic to things that happen. Maybe I need to join the boat and calm down, but I would never forgive myself. JEESH!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flwrjunke Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Oh Lori, I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Yes, you should try to settle down. I can only imagine how hard it is for you to be at work while this is going on. Know I pray for you and your Mom daily, and I hope the headache isn't anything serious. Hugs, Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dchurchi Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Keep screaming for your mom, sounds as if you are the only one really looking out for her welfare. If it was my husband I would have done exactly what you did. Make sure you get the results yourself, not sure you will get complete story from your SF Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Lori, you're a wonderful daughter and such a great advocate for your moms health care! Please remember that you can vent, yell or scream here anytime. We're always here for you! I'm saying prayers for both you and your mom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Lori, You keep on being your mom's advocate. She knows you will help her to get things done. You did the right thing. That's why she told you she had a headache... Don't take to heart what your SF says to you. Just let it slide, he is showing he is not in control, even in your mom's eyes. Keep up the good job. They will run tests and get her the right care...Never,never give up, your mom wants to live and fight this disease. Sending you and mom, lot's of prayers. Please keep us posted.... Please keep venting to us here. We will support you and give you as much information as we have... God Bless and hugs, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darci Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 I don't know how you do it Lori - you are so good for your mom, and she needs someone like you to fight for her well-being. Do what you can to help her, but I know how debilitating stress can be - be sure to take care of yourself too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miami Janet Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Hi Lori, I believe it is impossible to calm down and relax when yur Mom is so sick. Unfortunately, you are her best advocate, not the docs and nurses...you know her better then anyone else and what is normal for her. Keep on looking out for her...she is lucky yu are her daughter.. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Lori, You need to get from your SF. You are her best for your mother and she needs you, just keep what you have been doing all along, protect her, look out for her and love her. xo Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 you're doing great, Lori. your stepdad and you have a history of difficulty - well, I can tell you that even family members that normally get along get at each other with this stuff! it's all so stressful. you are such a great support to her. just keep doing what you're doing, and try to be like a duck with the sarcasm - let it roll off your back. it's not worth getting all wet over. been there with the brain bleed, hope it's not that or trouble from the mets. strange to think that, for us, a headache may never be just a headache again. hang in there. and keep us posted!! xoxo amie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Lori, All I really have to say is I would give a great deal to have someone just like you advocating for me. I did the same kinds of things for my Mother during her illness. You have to stay on top of things. A big part of being a long term Lung Cancer Survivor is not allowing that same apathy you have so aptly described to go unquestioned. I am having to do for myself the things you are doing for your Mom. I know how stressful it is. All I can say is God Bless you for being exactly who you are. And as far as the SF's sarcastic "Doctor", well, the next time he does that politely ask him just how much time has he spent doing the research that will give an indication as to whether or not the care being given is appropriate. You are wonderful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilliBr1 Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Lori your a wonderful daughter and sound a lot like my sister. She was my moms best advocate. When my mom first got sick mom and dad would joke about "doctor Karen" it didn't take long till they appreciated all she did and we all learned from her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 (((((Lori))))) You are the very BEST kind of advocate. I'm so glad your Mom has you by her side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 You're a great advocate for your mom, Lori, so don't let up. As I have said many times, every patient with life-threatening illness needs an advocate to run point for them and push on the system. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted February 3, 2006 Share Posted February 3, 2006 Lori, It really stinks that, in addition to helping your mom fight the cancer, you have to fight so many others. That said, GOD BLESS YOU for doing it! Maybe the SF doesn't understand what you are doing...maybe he is intimidated by your knowledge, or the fact that he has no idea what to do. His problems are HIS problems. You keep doing what you know is right--because it is right. In case you haven't seen my rants, I'm a big fan of venting. Come here and do it anytime. You're among friends, and we love you! Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 Lori: you were right to give the nurse's a headsup. Sometimes the principal caregiver is the only one who may have the "big picture" in mind in terms of care. I will continute to pray for your mom and you. don M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 Lori, With Don and my dad, I found that I really needed to be very active in pushing for this, that or the other, especially with my dad. Don't worry about stepping on toes at this time or what anybody thinks. Just keep doing for your mom the things you are doing - somebody has to. Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzie Q Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 Lori, You are doing right by your mom. However, do try to avoid the borrowing trouble scenario we all play out from time to time. Your thoughts are already on whether to have the Louvenox d/ced, but you don't know yet if she has a bleed. Wait for this to play itself out. No sense wasting precious time and energy on making a gameplan for something that may not occur. Sending you a huge cyber hug! ~Suz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollyanne Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 Lori - You are a wonderful daughter. I completely understand why you are doing what you are doing, why you are concerned, etc -- Ignore your SF, you are doing what is right. You KNOW the right things to do, it is innate because you are your mom's daughter -- it is simply a sixth sense. Hang in there. Breathe and don't panic. All my love, Holly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted February 4, 2006 Share Posted February 4, 2006 Do what you have to do and never quit fighting for any reason. Good Luck and Many prayers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellen B. Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Lori, I admire you. Keep screaming, don't give up! I wish I had screamed more when my father was in hospital (not with LC). This was 10 yr ago and I did scream, but not enough. Still regret that now! Ellen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 Lori, You are doing right by your mother, continue to keep your ears open and your head up and questioning the questionable... BUT, take care of yourself, too. Primal scream therapy in the car helps - turn up the AC/DC and just scream along or take a deep breath and scream out all the frustrations (usually best to do this when you don't have passengers LOL). Cry in the shower to let off some of that pressure and take care of YOU, too. There are people depending on you for the day to day as well as your mother who is depending on someone to speak for her when she can't. It SHOULD be your SF taking care of your mother, but it's not. Life ain't fair and you are doing a wonderful job of stepping up where you are needed, but don't shortchange yourself and your family in the process. Hang in there, hang on and know that in all the craziness, you are calling the shots correctly. xxoo, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted February 5, 2006 Share Posted February 5, 2006 ((((((((((((LORI)))))))))))))) I just want to give you a hug from one daughter to another, I know what your going through. Hang in there Kiddo! Your doing all the right things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Wow Lori, what could I possibly add that wasn't said so many times. You are a great daughter and your mom is soooo lucky to have you right by her side. What would she do without you? I love the way you take the bull by the horns and you don't let go. Your amazing. I pray your moms headaches is nothing major. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eppie Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Yes, you do have to become immune....to SF bs. Here's your a-hole vaccination right here: on your upper right arm circle circle dot dot now you have your a-hole shot. Goood for only ten minutes in his presence. Then you have to get revaccinated only with stronger stuff. I wish I could permanently do it for ya but I ain't willing to go to jail. Wishing you more super human strenghth to deal with all and more. ' Much love Eppie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joanie55 Posted February 6, 2006 Share Posted February 6, 2006 Lori, I know how hard this is and I can only say you are truly amazing. Just keep on doing what you're doing and don't let anyone get to you. Really hoping that headaches aren't serious, but so great that you're on top of it. Joan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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