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Mom Officially on Hospice Today


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Mom is now under hospice care at her skilled nursing facility as of this morning ......she is so bad mentally, I have just been crying since I got home today. So much confusion going on -- hospice even says no way she can come home (I soooooo agree in our particular circumstance! Her docs already said that earlier). She has never been not horrendously confused since her hospitalization last Thursday, just varies in degree. I was with her yesterday and had to leave as she was getting agitated and vicious with me after about 3 hours; she had some of the staff at the nursing facility in tears the day before -- she doesn't even know where she is and thinks everyone is taking her out and going on a vacation of some sort.......she thinks day is night...she doesn't know who I am some of the time....she gets soooooo mad at me when she says she is tired and wants to go to bed -- I say I'll help you get there (we were sitting in the hallway at the time) -- she gets mad and says I'm playing games with her......today, she's talking being in castles and how's her mom and grandma(both have already passed)....is she in mom's house (she asks me)....she's seeing things that aren't there and forming nonsense sentences at times and gets mad when noone understands what she's saying!

Hospice counselor told me to not come in to see her for at least a few days since I am agitating her at the moment (and they see it too) -- what a relief to have someone believe me. Even at that, they say I should be only coming in 1-2 times per week --support has absorbed sooooo much time.....what it is to only deal with mom directly 1-2 days per week?

This post probably makes no sense at all.....I am falling apart mostly from a sense of relief having hospice on board -- maybe I will actually find some me-healing time in all of this yet,

Linda

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Linda,

you definitely have to take some time for yourself, look at all you have been going through. I know it tears you apart to see your mom this way, you don't want her to be this way, and you feel totally helpless, I really do understand.

but understand that hospice will take good care of her and hopefully they will find a way to lessen her agitation, probably through medication(s). I know it is difficult to keep the faith, but please try. and it is also ok to cry, vent, feel confused, there is not a damn thing wrong with that.

Linda, even if you so the simplest, smallest thing for yourself you must do...you have to, you need to...

I'm keeping you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers...

Grace

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Oh LInda,

I am so, so sorry to read your post. You are such a good daughter, and this kind of thing is just so, so hard. God bless you for all you do for your mom. Take solace in the fact that your mother, the mother you know and love (not the cancer affected mother), is with you in spirit, and not agitated by your presence. May peace be with you during this difficult time.

Jen

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Linda,

I am sorry things are not better with your mom. Please know you and she are in my prayers... Now that hospice is on board I hope you can take some time for yourself and be able to get some rest. You have and continue to be such a wonderful daughter.. Never lose sight of that fact..

Sending prayers and love and positive thoughts...

Chris

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Linda -

I am so sorry that it has come to this, but very relieved for you that you will have help. Most Hospice nurses are amazing, and they know how to handle all of this. Rest assured that your mom will be well taken care of...now you need to "take some time off."

With love,

Holly

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I'm sorry to hear about your mom, Linda. I understand the agitation at her own confusion, I've had periods of confusion and it frustrates me no end.

Now, as for you, I decree that tomorrow is ratty robe and fluffy slippers day. Get up, have a cup of coffee drank slowly and lazily curled up in your favorite seat. Take a peaceful bubble bath in the afternoon with music, something that helps you relax...

Wrap yourself back up in that robe, lay down on your bed, close your eyes and breathe deep, in through your nose and out through your mouth - breathe slowly in and slowly out... Keep breathing deeply and when the tears come, just let 'em flow. Cry until you get it all out, and then take a nap. Shower when you get up and get outside for some fresh air or dancing in the rain, whatever the weather is where you are.

...and yes, I DO play in the rain, yesterday I planted garden in the pouring rain and got soaked clear through to my underwear. Don't care what the neighbors think, my parents know I'm crazy...

Take care of yourself, right now, someone is taking care of Mom.

xxoo,

Becky

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Bless your heart Linda. HOpe you can get some rest and let some of the tension ease out. Let hospice care for your dear mother. They will know how to help ease her anxiety. Such a tough situation. Will be praying for you and your mom. pammie

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Linda,

As hard as it is sometimes, to stay away and rest, that is exactly what you need to do. Hospice will take care very good care of her. I had a hard time staying away, I would stay all night, run home and shower and then back up to the hospital. By the end I was emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausted. I also had a stepfather that was not taking her needs and wants to heart, so I felt I had to be there all the time. Take today and do whatever it is that you enjoy doing. Take care.

Hugs nad prayers

Connie

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Linda...My heart goes out to you. You have done such a remarkable job of caring for your mom and being a wonderful daughter. Like others have already said, Hospice nurses are truly angels on earth. You have to remember that they deal with this same kind of situation every day. Right now is the time for you to get caught up on some well deserved and needed rest and take care of yourself. When you visit with your mom, please listen to what she is saying. What may sound like complete and total nonsense to you may give you some true insight to what your mom is experiencing right now. Hospice should have some excellent literature that explains this in detail. I will be saying prayers for you, your mom and the wonderful nurses caring for her.

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Linda, I am sorry that it has come to this for your mom. At least hospice will give you a much deserved break and maybe they can level out your mom's state of mind.. Rest easy and let it go. You and your mom have my prayers.

Don m

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Linda,

Taking a break is definately in order and very hard to make yourself do...but as the commerical goes..."Just Do It". When you return maybe ask about med's for aggitation. They just told us they could give Dad some as today he is highly aggitated. They havent brought it yet..but just knowing it is there if he needs it is comforting.

Wishing you peace!

Cindy

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