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It's So Dang Hard To Do This....

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They sprung Mom from the hospital...into a hospital bed at home. :cry: She went and saw Dr. B (her med.onc.) yesterday and told him she NEVER wanted to be back in the hospital (she had some bad times in there this time through) and he placed his hand on her shoulder and told her, "You don't have to worry about that. You've got 2 weeks to a month."

I'd complain about him telling her this...except that I've kinda had a "gut" feeling things were going downhill since she went in the hosptial in the first place.

My brother, bless his heart, is doing everything he can possibly think of to try and "save" her even at this stage and I try to remind him as gently as I can that what she does or doesn't do is HER decision to make. None of us like this and every single one of us keeps HOPE, even now...but sometimes reality is a bit overwhelming. :cry:

I'm working with my stepdad and hospice to fill in when he goes back to work for the times that there can't be an aide there. SF works (right now) from around 1pm to 1am...so I'll be there late nights with her. My husband is being so wonderful about it all. We sat and talked about how to work out "grandma's girl" being with me up there but me not wanting to wake her each night to come home after SF gets home. He told me maybe it would be better to just sleep there at night, come home and do what needs done here during the day, then head back up in the evening. He's amazing.

I always enjoyed bringing happy news to the board...and I HATE posting this kind of glum stuff. It's just not "me"...or "us". However...it's life, and it's not always happy, I guess. Don't worry though, the humor is still alive and active in our lives. Mom called me a wuss while laughing at me for crying after she got the news from Dr. B. :roll:

Gawd this is hard! :cry: Mom told me,"I never knew dying could be so hard." I told her, "I never knew LETTING you die would be, either."

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Remember Yesterday, Cherish Today and Pray for tomorrow. This is the best advice I can give right now under these circumstances. Sending Prayers For peace and Comfort For the whole Family now!

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Missy, I hope your and your mom and your family can have some peace at this time. It sounds like your mon is starting to ocome to terms with dying. Hospice will be a big help now.

I am sorry it has come to this. You, your mom and the rest of your family have my prayers.

don M

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Missy. It is hard. It IS so hard. I remember my Mom saying the same thing. She was afraid she wouldn't be strong enough... She didn't want to do it alone. And... I did everything I could to make sure she didn't have to.

I know you are doing the same. And I know your Mom is cherishing every moment that you are with her as a beautiful gift. You will cherish those same moments in the same way.

Praying for you all so hard. PLEASE use my number anytime you need or PM me.



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Missy, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. It is extremely hard to do what you are doing. I can tell you from my experience, as hard as it was, I was glad to do it. I didn't want to have any regrets that I wasn't there for my mom when she needed me most. She was always there for me, and now it was my turn to do the same.

My one brother, too, was trying to "save" her at the end. He was always asking the doctor if there was hope, even though she was being discharged to hospice care.

I was blessed to have a very supportive husband as well. There were many nights I wasn't home, and he took care of the 3 kids. He made things better for me.

Take this time with your mom, and talk to her. Cherish every moment, as I'm sure she is doing the same.

God bless.

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Do as much as you can and don't feel guilty about what you can not do. It's hard to find a positive in a situation like this, but find one, no matter how small and focus on it. Doing this is helping me and my partner through some unimaginably hard times. Try to be at peace with yourself and it will help you and your mother enjoy the time you have left,however long it may be. I hope this helps you and remeber,You are not alone.

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